Living Under A Rock

I feel the need

2011-07-21T03:31:00.001+08:00

Okay I just felt the need to blog, what with all that has been happening over the past few months ever since my moments of indecisiveness with what to do with the next phase of my life. It is at once a huge update and the need to just write everything down to counter a bout of forgetfulness that ever so often claims me, because what happens before university, I want to remember in even greater detail (so the few who are able to see this, be honoured hahaha okay I'm kidding, it's actually hazardous).

Outcome of decision
Law and Econs, with the 40-50% chance of swopping Econs with Comms, and the very, very much higher chance I will take Comms as a minor. And this just in (actually no, I'm writing very much in a hindsight that is likely to have been pickled and jarred), the university offered me a scholarship! Something that I was very, absolutely surprised to be on the receiving end, totally did not expect, could not have foreseen; yup, that about sums it. I accepted it, obviously because of the additional financial freedom it would afford my family, and less obviously because of the greater incentive to focus on my studies and account for my performance. Of the material updates, this has to be the biggest one.

Faculty Orientation Camp
Going for the camp happened because I casually signed up at the tea session, and it was more of honouring a promise I made, and since I was free anyway, why not? I'm not entirely good with orientation camps and the required enthusiasm, energy and gusto that accompanies it, and I've never been a fervent believer in first impressions and their misplaced adequacy, but then again it's probably because I don't fare too well on their scales either. To cut the long story a little shorter: I went there expecting very little, and to be honest it wasn't much either. I made a few close friends, friends who I could sustain conversation with, conversation deeper than the average banter, friends who I could share some things with, yet they were bound within the circle of the entire orientation group, and I rarely saw them beyond the confines of group meetings and activities. I know for sure I need to give it a little more time, after going through JC and the land of green, having been very close to people I'd thought I'd never have a chance with in the beginning, it has convinced me so. They're a bunch more mature and thoughtful than most, something I definitely appreciate a lot. The expected air of cliquish elitism is either non-existent or masterfully subdued, because I did not discern any throughout my interactions with them, though I can tell a few within the cohort and not necessarily close to me nevertheless bore that aura, but that is to be expected. The camp was fun enough, exciting enough, not too mild to be dull, yet not too extreme to be overdone. It was much tamer than the hall and faculty camps I heard about from other friends, and to me that was a blessing through and through. I could veritably tell that the seniors had put in considerable effort in ensuring the entire product was palatable, and on my part, it is appreciated. My whole demeanour during the camp was pretty much laidback, the only few times I remembered I stepped up (and apparently stood out) were during some drama moments that required initiative (that was sorely lacking at times within the group either because of inability or poor judgment) and humour (dry, acerbic, sarcastic, my style). At this point in time, I would like to remind myself to refrain from putting out snarky remarks, however funny I think they may be.

Bali
After some bumming around after the camp, K, ZY, KJ and I went for a much-awaited trip to Bali! To be honest, I didn't go well-prepared in terms of information and a desire to try out new stuff, but thanks to KJ's initiative in bookings and K's initiative in tour information and a little of KJ's and my background information on the island, it went rather fantastic. I tried to pitch in with the common fund and planning the day tripping on the third day. We managed to accomplish so much in such little time, that it makes me proud to think about it. Using resort amenities like the two pools, the ping-pong table, the cafes nearby; cycling through the village compound and streets, saying hi to the kids and pretending to be Japanese with the locals (though rather unconvincingly so); kopi luwak tasting (really bitter and strong! Though I know why some people bother to pay for it now, for its distinct and unique taste); the breathtaking views of Agung and Batur; smoked duck; Balinese rice terraces, farms and padi fields; a very, very value-for-money spa; Nusa Dua beach and (really, truly) spectacular blowholes; Tanah Lot at low tide; Uluwatu temple sunset and monkeys (K's and KJ's bane); Jimbaran seafood dinner by the beach; picturesque sunrise; Sanur shopping and haggling; nightly bridge sessions and minivan conversations that invariably ended up in a lot of unintended but much appreciated sharing. It was a very fulfilling, sincere, carefree trip.

Phuket
For Phuket, which was just two days after Bali, it was an entirely different experience, mainly because of the different group of people I went with, namely HW, CG, YB, and A. This group I would describe as rather jock-ish, unassailably straightforward, and altogether rather wild. It's no surprise certain wild adventures were undertaken then, some of which I didn't participate in (of course). First day comprised of a pleasant surprise on board a budget flight that bestowed us extra leg room (appreciated anywhere, anytime), walking and shopping around before hotel check-in, and swimming in the hotel pool thereafter, where we met J, a surprise I had foreknowledge of, and after that, the venture into the deep unknown that was Soi Bangla, sleepy street by day and acidic, vibrant nightlife hotspot by night, where we settled at a bar. Thereafter, we covered plenty of what Phuket had to offer: island hopping to the nearby isles and bays, snorkelling which proved to be a more-than-pleasant experience, lazing and swimming by beaches teeming with fish; white-water rafting which I would describe as nothing less than unforgettable; ATV riding (they totally ate my dust); fish spa; yet another full-body massage which was fantastic (hard is good, no pain no gain); sumptuous seafood dinners (!), nightly jaunts near Patong Beach, haggling everywhere else (one of my favourite pastimes); motorbike riding on the last day (even though as a very safe and measured rider, I never went over 40km/h, ta-dah). I felt that this trip wasn't as heartfelt as the last, and though there were moments where hearts were poured out, but I think that there could have been much more. No doubt it was tiring, but it was time well-spent, and I would love to have more rounds of such. And, I have discovered my penchant for haggling and my commendable level of initiative I didn't know I had (this is my blog, I can say whatever I want to, hahaha).

Community Service at Northlight
Because of my numerous trips here and there and the overall tight schedule I had, I basically could not be part of this as much as I would like, though for most part I guess it turned out alright. A group of us worked on a skit, quiz, group discussion and other activities to engage a group of students at the school for academically weak students on the issue of drug abuse. The topic may well be a tired one for many of us, but for them, it may well be a very close issue to their hearts, one that they are likely to encounter many times due to the social climate they are surrounded by. Whatever little contributions I had, were in terms of the role and agenda-setting, scripting for the skit, listening ear to the group leader G, and the crowd rouser and atmosphere creator on D-day itself, 15 July. Admittedly, the audience was very much like the subordinates I crossed paths with during my time in the land of the green, and unsurprisingly so, given how many of them were similar in terms of education, family background and the such. What struck me most on the day itself was the level of engagement we managed to achieve with them, in that we had so much of their rapt attention, I started feeling so encouraged, and believed that we were really on the right track with them. It was amazing and awe-inspiring, their interactions with us were truly unbelievable, and at the end of it all, I felt it was all worthwhile. Their willingness to participate after the initial inertia, the openness with us, the candid initiative to share email addresses and contact numbers, these were all unexpected and very much sincere. It was day unlike any other, and now I realise why there are social workers and an increasing level of volunteerism in this society; while there is a lot to give, there is really a lot to receive as well.
TA gathering
Oh well, though the turnout was just alright and on the diminutive side, I enjoyed it on the whole. We gathered for a time of games and conversation, finding out how each other was doing, and maybe in our minds, helping them to chart their future, and where we would stand in that. I honed my mahjong skills, as well! And I would not have it any other way, in that those who were interested to come, came. It is highly unlikely another of such an event would be organised or held in the near future (unless any kind soul offers, that is), and that was why, as much as it may not seem to be, I treasured this opportunity quite a bit, and it is rather sad not many saw it on the same level as I did. But well, phases of our life come and go, and I guess it is about time the cohort identity took a rest, and let the groups of friends (maybe for life?) with their tighter bonds start to emerge and take its place. I am truly glad for SY and J who organised it with me, and for the many friends I have made from that time of four formative and very enriching years.
Meeting people
Here goes the list of people I've remembered I've met on a rather daily basis or recently (whichever is the case), and how I feel about them (the meet-ups I mean, haha). In no order of merit or demerit:

SY, YX, HB: I am very close to this group of friends (thanks to the first year in school!), and I can talk just about anything with them. Though sadly it is getting harder for us to meet up due to conflicting schedules, I believe the bond is still quite strong (though HB and SY share the strongest bond ahahaha). We share a lot in common, though we are still unique individuals in many other ways, and that is nice to know.
G: I am really close to her (thanks to school!), and also because of distance (or the lack of it!), we can make time for each other, and that is much appreciated. I treasure her viewpoint quite a bit, and I really do hope we can keep it up.
HW, CG, YB, A: Because of our commonality in the land of the green (two times over, at that! Except for YB, which is just once), we became quite close, even though I knew HW from a long time before. It still amazes me that I managed to 'click' with them, and that they can accommodate my 'uniqueness', haha. In this group, I also share a closeness with each of them, apart from the group dynamic.
YH, LZY, YJ: I share so much in common with YH that it is quite scary, in terms of how we think and react, and certain other beliefs. LZY is frank and rather humourous and we share a similar brand of humour. Though it feels like YJ is somewhat drifting away. I am more or less closest to YH, and we often exchange insults.
ZY, sometimes with K, SY, or KJ: I appreciate ZY's dry humour that is sometimes truly blunt and straightforward, but never in my face. We meet up less often nowadays, though we still do, and the fact that we share some things in common, remains much to be treasured. K has been overseas for a while, but when she's back, it's nice to know things are the same and we can meet.
KP: I knew him much better in the land of green, though I knew him by sight two years before. He is a rather acerbic and locally discontented individual, but I realise I can talk to him a lot regarding issues of much greater significance others would be deathly bored by. It is this shared penchant for deep conversation and the discovery of new places in the country that has brought us together, I guess.
SY, J: Though we met up largely for the sake of the gathering, I realise that J and I can keep a very decent conversation going. Anyone who can do that with me is truly treasured.
CG, YC: They share in common the land of green two times over with me, and because of my close work proximity with them then, we got to know each other much better. Though we meet only occasionally, it's nice when we do.
B, KY, ML, GT, CL, TJ: They are a group whom I've worked very closely with in the last nine months of my time in the land of the green, and though I've been on a trip with them, thereafter, we met up somewhat less frequently. It is hard to keep such an extensive group dynamic going, but I do miss the times, though sometimes it is time to move on. They are a very blah-blah group, and I can hardly have deep conversation with them, except when they are on their own, and because the group is not subscribed to the lowest common denominator of maturity. I am closer to B and KY.
NJY, A, D: This is the group I worked quite closely with, like with the above group, just that in a different capacity. Though we met up occasionally, it cannot quite be considered enough, but I realise this is probably due to conflicting schedules. NJY has this penchant for teasing me, and when it begins, everyone joins in.
JY: My ex-buddy, I was really close to him due to us sharing certain beliefs, and when we were close, we really could share just about anything with each other. But I guess due to time and the divergence of experiences thereafter, while we are still good friends, we cannot boast the closeness we used to have.
M: This is a long-time friend that I have had for a good seven years now, and even though I have not seen her for the past year, when we met up recently, it was just like good times, and we could talk really well with each other. I treasure this kind of time-tested connections a lot.
B: I was quite close to her, having worked quite well with her a few years ago. I have not met her for quite some time, but I feel that this long-lost connection can be revived more than easily; the only matter now is when.
V: I have not met her for some time, but whenever we meet, we manage to have a more than decent conversation, which I feel is more than good enough.
KW: A long-distance primary school friend, I met him recently and to be honest, I didn't expect the conversation to go so well. It is very heartening to know that both of us still share a lot in common, and that we are going to be able to meet soon, again.

U-turn?

2011-05-27T05:08:00.000+08:00

Okay I just need to write it all down, and think. Let's cut to the chase.

I am very surprised (pleasantly and puzzlingly) at the number of the people (like more than 20?), and the kind of people, who have expressed any form of concern at my potential change in choice of university education. From the expected people whom I have had very close contact with - it was understandable and welcome - and to those whom I have not spoken to in two or more years, it was certainly strange, although definitely much appreciated.

So, a back-track is in order (not really cutting to any chase anymore).

For the last two or so years, I had been rather strong in expressing my decision to study communications, and to reject law, for the following reasons:

I figured I was way more interested in studying communications. Though my proficiency digital- and IT-wise was at best dismal (this blog is the pinnacle of it), I foresaw myself dabbling in the PR and corporate comms area, and maybe a little of journo, even though I was never the hit-the-ground-running kind of person, with the indomitable news sense and hunger for stories. I maintain that while I do not exhibit the usual tendencies of a writer on a creative mission - the short poems or verses scribbled on napkins (or better, a dedicated notebook), the occasional inspiration to churn out drafts that could compete with novellas on the shelf - I consider myself a writer nonetheless. This was where I felt one of my strengths lay, and as any mildly insecure and half-determined individual would play it, I stuck to my perceived strength (be it qualified or not), worked at it, and hoped to make something out of it.
I had dabbled in internships of both kinds before, having pushed paper at a law firm for a while, and roaming the workings of the biggest print media organisation for an even shorter while. While neither were fantastically exciting nor off-putting, I figured myself leaning towards the (slightly) more meaningful (do not read: rewarding) job of a journalist (okay, I realise on hindsight that was because I wanted to be an editor without the hassle of working my way up, which is hardly possible. The ability to control a publication's content, self-censorship and late hours never looked so good before).
Scholarship. To me that was a big plus, and continues to be so. The assurance that finances are not at all a worry is really a fantastic blessing, one which not many get to enjoy, and one that I continue to be thankful for.
The amazing flexibility the course offers, in choosing what you want to pursue. Communications allows me to (very nearly) choose any module I want to pursue, and judging by the range it offers, it far surpasses that offered by law.
I simply could not see myself as an effective litigator. I think this had a lot to do with my involvement in debate in the early days. Debate definitely honed my writing and argumentative skills, no doubt, but it also made me realise I fell quite far short, in terms of being able to express myself eloquently in speech, without tripping over words, or my worst nightmare, rambling in incoherently circles of argument, which I often find myself guilty of.

Then, recently, after declining the offer two years ago, I re-applied again (truth be told, my father encouraged me to do so, to keep my options open. Even then, I was convinced I would not consider the offer even if it was made). I was offered a double degree option this time round, a notch up from the previous offer two years ago. The inklings of a reconsideration set in due to the following reasons:

The double degree offer opens up a new avenue for me, which is the chance for the faculty to consider giving me a law and communications double degree. I was never against studying law, just that I did not see the need to study law if I was sure my career in future would not involve it. In fact, I find the study of law useful and potentially interesting. Sure it is dry, and probably boring to many, but while I would not underestimate its esotericism and profundity, I am pretty sure that it is possible to adapt to it. After all, I did enjoy studying in JC, and as long as it was words and not numbers, anything goes.
Should the faculty turn down my request for the abovementioned double degree, there is the option of doing a minor in communications, which requires me to drop my double degree option (entirely fine with that, which means only four years, not five). Though some professors I spoke to said that it was possible to come up with a "structured programme" that incorporated the double degree elements, others said that they did not foresee it happening in the near future, due to problems like lack of critical mass (I admit, I am still not fat enough) to necessitate a review of whether such a programme would be feasible for students. But what of law and life sciences? If anyone told me that there was a bigger field there than for the corporate secretaries who handle both the legal matters and the corporate affairs for most companies, I would be very much astounded. Bioethics may be up and coming, but definitely it is most unlikely it is a pressing need now.
As much as I would like to be sole and only stakeholder in the decision-making of this matter, I know it cannot be so. My father's input is that he prefers me studying law, as he sees it more "fitting to my temperament" (dull, who would have guessed?), and wants me to "keep my options open".
What I look for in university education is not just interest and fulfillment. I think this needs some explanation. You could call me a masochist who sees pain as part of the growing process, and that suffering is needed to bear fruit. In many past endeavours, if I didn't feel that the going was tough, or that there was no difficulty in achieving something, I never felt at ease. Sure, things were smooth-sailing (which is good too), but I felt that I would have learned more from whatever I was doing, should it have been more "painful". I may whine and grumble when I do something difficult, but after it is over, there is a sense of accomplishment, greater than what would come out of something achieved so simply, a breeze. Of course, I am not looking at utter failure (I am not so into self-inflicted pain as to throw myself into a mathematics degree), but at the arduous travail which, in my opinion, builds character and bonds people.
Whatever I want to do, whether in the comms-related fields or in the event I am suddenly interested in law (we never know), law is a suitable qualification. For a comms degree, I am limited to the former. While I continue to maintain that I do not hold any interest in a legal career for now, I cannot rule out that possibility. As it stands, the corporate comms area that I am interested in, as well as the foreign affairs openings, also view legal graduates favourably.

Alright, I think this about sums up half of my brain activity over the last two weeks. Maybe there is more, but I am too tired to dredge up anything else. Will update on choice/outcome/the coming judgment. I truly pray I make the right decision, whatever it may be.

Me me me me me me me

2011-04-27T01:46:00.001+08:00

Ah yes I'm probably a tad too free nowadays. Actually no, it's just that I'm making it out to be so. In fact, I have a thousand and one things to do, that I just can't bring myself to. Either because they are too trivial (it's the small things that are often the most not-worth-it to do), or that they look too big for me to handle (and somehow there is the thinking that if I leave it till later, it'll somehow get smaller and look more manageable). THAT is the problem with me.

No, I refuse to admit it's procrastination, and with good reason too. I am still doing whatever I need to do now, just that it's perhaps at a slower pace than I expected. I'm occupied with something at any point in time, but I definitely think/know I could probably juggle two or more errands/things on my mind at any one time. This has been quite perennial (meaning that I've noticed it for around 6 years), and the best (or worst) thing is, for some/most things, I do place others before myself. Let me illustrate: let's say I'm supposed to get a new handphone for myself, and while that would obviously benefit me plenty, along comes Person A who asks for a favour, whether I could help them vet an essay or something that is within my power to help with (this is important, because if I can't do it, I can't do it. I can try, but I can't do it. Makes perfect sense. To me). When faced with such a circumstance, the natural choice is to vet the essay first, even if it takes half a day (a few did) and requires back-and-forth correspondence, way more effort than the new gadget.

But I think I know why. Somehow, I respond way more agreeably to something that is offered/expected of me. Even homework (I consider it a request from the tutors), if it's within my power, it'll be done. But if it's something like going out to buy new clothes, there is just so much inertia. Sounds really off-putting, but at times, what dominates my to-do list or timetable are others' to-do lists and timetables.

Or maybe it's because I'm just averse to the unfamiliar. Most of the time, I shy away from new environments, am reluctant to try something out, just because I have never done them before, or don't really know much about it. Take the example of getting that handphone - I've probably only done it twice thus far. The first time it was simple, I did it with my parents, and this gives me the security I'm getting the best deal, with somewhat perfect information, and besides, I didn't think much of it then. The second time round, it was just a matter of getting a second-hand one from someone else, and since it had to be non-camera, simple! It's different now, because of the wide range - the different models, features, but what's most important is, which one will bring me through university well and adequately enough (talking about the apps, the plan, etc.). To others it may seem like an inconsequential, back-of-the-mind thing, but to me, it's like getting a house. I wouldn't want to regret any decision made, but certainly this can't last, can it? But this has probably waned over the past years, and rightfully so; I can't go into university or my future career with such a close-minded and self-defeatist mentality. It comes across quite clearly in whatever interviews I've been through as well, in the rather conservative, pragmatic (and sometimes self-effacing, as one of my teachers described me) answers I give, and the seemingly non-sequitur statements I sometimes spout, and then the panel will go 'huh?', and when I explain myself, they actually understand (or at least they seem to). Now that I read back the previous sentence, it truly exposes me as the dull, intellectually boring person I really am. But I like that.

It's a good trait to adopt. At least I don't mind helping others as much as it seems to affect other people quite adversely. At some points in time I felt like this way of doing things that I adopted was being taken advantage of by others (read: in the land of the green), but oh well, at least I'm the good guy, which makes the other party the bad guy, and that at least I didn't have it on my conscience. And I don't want my life to just be about me, how much fun I've had, how well I've progressed. Perhaps knowing that you've helped someone (a bit, a very little bit) along their journey is a blessing in itself. Why not help if I can help, you know. That said, I'm not a very charitable person in the sense of giving back to society, doing community work. I did some before of course, but those experiences probably just popped right onto my lap and I took them up. I don't get particularly struck by a certain cause and then go out of my way to find out how to help or contribute to that cause, applying to organisations or starting an initiative.

But maybe I should start trying. And maybe this time, I'll be able to do it.

A year!

2011-04-23T03:38:00.002+08:00

Wow, has it been long since I last set foot here. But just in time to chronicle some of life's wondrous changes that have happened thus far.

Rewind back to April 2010: first commissioned, but me and my fresh face walked smack into one of the East's oldest camps. Got told that my posting would change, and became quite abrasive over that (and rightly so might I add!). But to condense a full nine months' of adapting, tolerating, learning, and even some fun into a few sentences is almost unimaginable, yet our human endeavours to always go beyond the limits to achieve the ultimate pinnacle of laziness and at the same time, practicality, amaze me to no end. And so it shall amaze you too.

Taking on my new role was not an easy pill to swallow, I'll be the first to admit that. I was probably very aware of the fact that how I looked, how I behaved and how I thought and acted, were very much dissonant with the people I was about to meet, and who will ever be really ready for that? But being thrown into the deep end had its own merits, and I, somehow or rather, found myself climbing that steep learning curve faster than I imagined possible. Somehow, they endeared themselves to me, and even though the work was pretty much gruelling and sometimes impossible, I told myself I should just try my best, and if anything went wrong, God was always there anyway. Many things did go wrong, but at least from where I stood, they didn't seem to go spectacularly wrong, so that was good. Going to Taiwan for the second time in two years; taking over the upperstudy too quickly for my comfort (to his credit, he was a fantastic upperstudy); having to manage the idiosyncrasies and different personalities of my subordinates and at the same time balancing their interests with my superiors' targets, deadlines and taskings; helming one of the many backend projects in a huge behind-the-scenes effort to support the nation's most prominent sporting events; finally taking the evaluation test we were all preparing for and worrying over - all of it seemed awfully like work, and it was. But more than that, it gave birth to a new sense of self-awareness, again grappling and finding out where I could improve on, and how best to react to a certain set of challenges. I'm so entirely grateful for all the opportunities and chances I had to interact with people, work with deadlines and keep the faith, and I could not have fathomed just how much I have learnt in my stint with this group of people - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the impossibly amazing. All of them probably wouldn't even chance upon on this, but it is to them I owe my eye-opening experiences for the most part of 2010 and a little of 2011.

In all of this, I've realised that my social circles have been changing dramatically. Now, the only people I usually and often meet who I've known before 2009 are a meagre few, and I do feel quite bad about it. Many of them have attributed this to my MIA-ing during the training phase, and it's quite true indeed; back then, I had barely enough time even for myself. As much as I would like to close the previous chapter in life and move on to the next, it is definitely unwise to archive the former and not bother further, but perhaps to leave it peeking open would be the best option. I've also begun to be more adventurous in terms of exploring certain conversational topics with friends, but I prefer to think that this was pretty much the case even from the start, just that this trait has yet again been enhanced and sent to the forefront of my psyche - where there should be no OB markers, but just free-flowing expression that delves into the previous no-no's of religion and politics, while at the same time inhibiting any vulgar or offensive barbs, especially those that stem from others. Maybe I'm just taking this all a bit too seriously, but a sincere conversation can do so much for those taking part in it. The sense of adventure has also extended to my taste for travel, and having gone overseas in a short span to Vietnam, Thailand, New Zealand, and soon, Indonesia and Thailand again, my hunt for bargains and good, affordable food have always been met with some measure of success.

This probably sums up my year till now, and oh, the constant 'agony' of settling on the right course of study as well, but that remains to be another experience to relate once I can make enough sense of it.

brave new world, yet it's the same old

2010-03-31T23:29:00.002+08:00

So yes, I've officially stepped over to the other side, or should I say, made a long pilgrimage back to the more familiar side of the island, with thanks due to the posting. It was bittersweet, knowing that I actually had quite an attractive alternative being taken away from me, but oh well, we make do with what we have. So far, it's been uneventful. We're on course, and the people have really been nice enough, though rumours abound about so-and-so being monstrous and we all go, "Really ah?" - but really, does it matter? I know what it's like to be solely judged on first impressions, or worst, hearsay, so I'm not going to take it all in like a sponge, but see it for myself, and then maybe I'll believe, or maybe I won't. Touch some of the humanity within, everyone's got some to give and show, I say.

Meanwhile, I believe most of us still ache for the presence of the platoon, but already I feel the heartstring-tugging ebbing away. Humans forget, and why shouldn't we, instead of clinging on to something that sometimes can never materialise again. Keeping in touch is never easy, but once we do, it is worth all of its while. And maybe the same feeling may not be relived, but I'm content to rest well in the knowledge that I can still remember enough of that feeling in order to miss it.

Thank you God for all these years, that I can still remember what's most important to me.

long overdue, but here I am

2010-03-23T19:08:00.002+08:00

So yes, a few things. My birthday's passed, so has ACPC, and the commissioning. Wow, it's really been a ride.

Both the birthday and the ACPC share a lot in common actually, simply because they were on the same day. All the tumultuous ragging and the midnight stampede aside, it was at best, endearing and at worst, plain raucous fun. Not that I'm a mad fan of it, but. They brought out a cake and a soft toy thereafter, and well, I guess I softened a little. How do you get mad with people who celebrate your birthday? So later on, was ACPC and the dining-in and all that. Post dining-in was a bad idea; turned into the reddest tomato red anyone could drag out of the closet. Because of some dare. Groggy, but never drunk, dare I say it.

More ragging between ACPC and the big day. Especially on the last night, whoa. And on the last day. And the very last day as well. Funny how it never seemed to end.

Let's just say the commissioning went well, and how everyone, including I, felt the sadness, nostalgia, and the feeling that rushes up your nose bridge. Oh well, all good things must come to an end, or at least a screeching halt. Soon these memories will fade, but hopefully the good ones will remain. The bonds forged and friends made - we'll try to relive them somehow, won't we? It's yet another time to say goodbye, all the best, and see you soon.

$100 million for what.

2010-02-19T22:02:00.002+08:00

Early bookout because of my fantastic marksmanship! Come to think of it, I really have to thank God for this breakthrough; previously during the practice shoots I didn't even come close to passing. So now I sit here, able to write in this space, and spend the next four nights out! Only a few more weeks left!

***

Recently (okay not so recently but the issue came up again a few conversations ago), it came up that FIFA considered (or maybe it was already put forth contractually, I'm not sure) charging an amount of up to a hundred million for the World Cup broadcasting rights in Singapore territory. Now, I'm no expert, but even if it was in the range of eighty million, and even if it was for both the 2010 and 2014 WC matches, isn't it a bit much? For that level of entertainment, a lot else could be achieved with that kind of money. But it was reported somewhere that nearly four hundred million went to acquiring EPL broadcasting rights. Whoa what? I think the competition between the broadcasters here may be too efficient for our prudent tastes. There should be some sort of agreement between providers here, especially when it concerns bids for broadcasting rights pertaining to international coverage. Otherwise it'll just be meaningless outflow of money.

Sidenote: Buah keluak is probably the only dish that can successfully make me eat more rice so earnestly. Honestly the FAMILY can open a restaurant already lah.

bring in the new

2010-02-15T10:43:00.003+08:00

So yay it's the Lunar New Year, the reddest, hottest celebration of chasing away bad luck anyone can find around town (it pairs really well with the sweltering heat, in fact). A few days back in the land of green, we just completed a major summary exercise, as well as quite some (actually no, it was a lot of) kilometres of marching with various stations in between, so you can imagine how much I was looking forward to this break. Looking at it in the mid-term, I haven't got far to go; a few more weeks and it will all be over. Then it'll be a new environment, with new people, and new things to look forward to. (But then I'll start missing the old, no matter how gruelling it has been.) Hopefully I can finally make time for my family and friends as well. So hurrah for the new year!

Another one down

2010-02-01T09:13:00.003+08:00

Returning back home just made me realise how hot and humid Singapore weather truly is. Standing still for only a few minutes, and dripping like a wet pig was something I envisioned but not hoped for. But it is good to be back, save for the nauseating weather back here. The cooler weather over there was great for training, and though it got quite cold at times, I thankfully didn't suffer from chapped lips, dry skin, or the sort. Quite strangely so, as I usually do with other temperate climates previously. Training was quite alright actually; yes, tough at times, but not consistently so, which is an important factor. And the scary thing is, I actually found some parts of it fun. THIS IS NOT ME. IT IS ANOTHER PERSON SPEAKING.

Split personalities aside, it looks like the schedule after the trip will be an atrociously tight one. Suffice to say, it has always been so, but it shouldn't be, not when we're nearing the end of the course (just when I was getting used to the place and the people). What to do, organisational mess-ups.

Where did they all go?

2010-01-05T17:26:00.002+08:00

Just a side-rant (Twitter-styled, but not so):

Where did they all go flying/fading off to? What happened to the good ol' PC games (I don't know what they're termed) (and yes that was a dangerous oxymoron) that actually took time (not realtime games like Farmville or whatever uncreatively named games there are) and effort (unlike 'instant noodle' games that are over in like what, 20 seconds?)? Okay yes, those games are still around, but they no longer offer well, in terms of updated gameplay, more user-friendly interfaces, and graphics that could deceive a donkey. Maybe it's my fascination with seeing macro in micro, or maybe it's my God complex, or maybe I'm just really a little kid still enamoured with Lego, but games like Sim City (or any others that simulate control over an establishment) appeal to me greatly, but sadly, there doesn't seem to be that many of such games around, that are actually able to stand up to stiff competition from the influx of more action/gore/violence/thrill-packed games. Games that let us control characters a la Sims don't really appeal to me (because I might as well live my own life well), but I was admittedly interested in the 'Build'-ability that it offered. Recreational architecture - that's what I call it. Probably I'm more of a creative than a destructive force. Yes, that explains it best.

(Yes it's not Twitter-styled because it's wayyy more than 140 characters. What's up with the word limit anyway.)

Welcome 2 Taiwan!

2010-01-04T22:32:00.002+08:00

Well would you just look at that. A fantastic, earnest effort to usher visitors into the country, to enjoy all of its nature- and lifestyle-oriented attractions, and really, I would appreciate all of that, except that I can't glimpse even a little of any of it, even after dwelling there for the next two and a half weeks. Eh, no, not really, I'll actually be revelling in what the flora and fauna there have to offer, sometimes even for days on end. But ya, that's not really a consolation worthy enough of being one.

Oh well, the few days before the departure have been rather enjoyable, with the New Year being a smashing excuse for meet-ups and gatherings that really don't have a lot of purpose, save for all-important (I'm not being sarcastic here) (neither there too) socialising and catching up, with people from church, JC, and gasp, my current occupation (not that the latter was much needed anyway, haha). But even as all this happens, one realises everything actually can easily be forgotten and put aside, unless there's an effort to keep them in mind. And so I shall, instead of viewing all of these as merely fun and laughter. Yes, they are that, but also more. They're also opportunities to strengthen bonds and create new memories.

2009 + 1

2010-01-01T01:31:00.003+08:00

Yeah it's the new year. If I sound almost nonchalant about it, well maybe yes I am. Yup, it definitely is one of the better things so far, but when one is to fly off to the island off China for non-leisure purposes, especially for non-leisure purposes, you can't blame him ya? Certainly I carry with me a much better perspective this trip around, but I don't doubt it's a sad event, with additional responsibilities, crazy training schedules, and all.

So what happened last year?

The other day (okay maybe last week or last, last week) I met up with K after an astounding six months (no I can't believe how long it was) for lunch at this really purse-enlightening Italian outfit that really was Japanese in disguise. I must go back for more sometime, it's so worth it! Caught up a lot with each other (hopefully this time it should not last for more than six months), and I guess that's about it. I think that's all I'm capable of outside, eating and talking. Well, that's more than I can say for myself.

Went for (another) hotel buffet with the FAMILY, which truly stuffed me. I ate till I literally dropped, but who cares for the bloated stomach when you've attained the knowledge that you've gotten every single cent's worth. That's the Singaporean in me speaking (plenty of that in there).

Confined myself in camp for no compelling reason except that the whole FAMILY was in Taiwan and I only had a day out. But that turned out surprisingly fun, because I could settle a lot of the 'chickenshit' they gave us. I realise that my mindset has been turning for the better recently, even the authorities have realised and commended me (a lot, should I say) for that (and as a result the additional responsibilities). Well, all of this positivity should only encourage me, no less.

One up from 2009!

Back!

2009-12-06T23:35:00.003+08:00

AHAHAHA I'M FINALLY BACK! To tell the truth, it wasn't all that bad altogether. I didn't even make any phonecalls back home (because of the exorbitant cost! No really, hearing of past figures of $800 and $1300 really kills all possibility of homesickness), but I still got through. Lodging was, suffice to say, basic, but then again, it was way better than expected. The food was great though... maybe my standards have fallen or I'm getting way too used to it, but I'd rather stay contented that way. I've finally got that long-anticipated badge (actually I wasn't really anticipating or looking forward to it, but more of wanting to get it over and done with), and seriously, it wasn't that tough or gruelling as it was made out to be. I guess all that exaggeration by the seniors was uncalled for, especially since it didn't rain for the first six days of the course though it was the monsoon season... thank God! Basically most of it went smoothly for me - the rations were more than enough, no major (or minor) injuries. I wish I could divulge more but sigh, bound by strict cyberpublishing regulations. The first morning after the course was bliss, waking up in the bunk instead of out in the open, snugly warm under the blanket while the weather outside was still cool and dewy... BLEEEES. R&R, mostly made up of museums, buffets and mindless wandering in the few malls there, was enjoyable enough. But seriously, after going through all of it, you'd feel like anything was possible, like you could do anything. Though I hope this semi-delusional feeling would go away soon and not get me into any trouble, haha.

Up!

2009-11-14T21:08:00.003+08:00

No I haven't caught the movie yet, but well I'll be up in the air in a matter of, let's see, 5 hours more. I'll be away for around 3 WHOLE weeks in the Abode of Peace that resides in Borneo. The training there will expectedly be tough and gruelling, but I guess it's all part of the process. Funny how the idea of it all seemed awfully dreadful 5 months ago, but now, with 5 hours left to the flight, it seems almost... alright. I've been through the nail-biting, stomach-churning, finger-tingling, and probably I'll go through all of it a few rounds more when I'm there, but all in all, I'll say it's been an encouraging process of acceptance and acknowledgement. So keep in me in your prayers, I'll be back soon!

Clear!

2009-10-02T22:34:00.002+08:00

So the defibrillating attempt was somewhat successful. I figured typing in something would get the job done.

I think this entry would be a far cry from what I expressed in the previous one. Sure, things are still tough, but I guess it only took a little time to warm up to the people around me. I've (thankfully) made many great friends in them, especially my 'buddy' as well as some others who, to no end, find joy in irritating me. Funny how such people can continue to do so, and at the same time be the people you find the easiest to approach. We'd been through some high-key events so far - the ten days I endured without a bath, the five days I stayed awake throughout - and they wouldn't have been at least bearable without company. Finishing one part of the course is definitely something to celebrate, but at the same time we are met with unfortunately premature departures, most to greener pastures. This is one thing that I've been proven wrong again and again, and gladfully so - that I doubted the bonds that form during this transitory period in my life, was a gross underestimation of what the experiences we go through can do to us. Of course, as I know it, there are many systems inherent that do much to impede and distort these experiences - the targets we have to meet, the KPIs we have to fulfill. But these are in the end transient only if we are able to see them so, and are nothing more but arbitrary benchmarks we don't have to force ourselves to live up to. Ahead, there are many seemingly insurmountable challenges, but as it is, I will have to look inward and gaze upward, and then it will be better-going, a constant lesson I've been taught this whole time.

Moving on away from soliloquoy, the night we were supposed to transmogrify into gentlemen mindful of our P's & Q's was, in all my expectations, uneventful and under the bridge. I guess many of them just weren't themselves, probably because they were in the presence of their dates and all. So it's a major cover-up, after all. That actually brings me to the fixation on image the entire system has. The things we are told to do, they sometimes frustrate me to no end, because I just can't figure out a logical reason to them. For the most part, they are only temporary measures to produce superficial results, and at the end of it all, the underlying problem still exists. Okay, I think it's a rant familiar to many in the country, so no further elaboration.

The time off so far has been great, having taken the time to pack off to Bintan and back, just relaxing and gastronomically exciting holiday there. The amount I ate was amazing even to myself; seems like my appetite has expanded quite a bit, probably because of all the physical activity and the overall longing for good food I always seem to possess. Also been out and about with some of them at the beach, where for some it was a good experience to share, and for yet others, it was a time for saying our goodbyes.

to stop the decay

2009-07-26T00:19:00.003+08:00

Dusting the cobwebs of my blog, just as how I would area-clean. Well. Back from five weeks of what I would call one of the most up-and-down periods in my short, short life. There were times I was on a high, where everyone was really nice and mostly everything went well - pleasantly uneventful, and then there were times where the lack of sleep, mental stress and the packed schedule tempted me to just keel over and declare this a done deal. But this is just what they would call an 'adjustment period'. It's getting better, and I guess I should just remain positive. Again, most of them in there are really nice and helpful, much more so than the average human, but I can't quite see myself getting close to most of them, except for a dismal handful. The people in charge, they seem to experience mood swings and emotional rollercoasters, and it's only thanks to the current epidemic they're laying it off, but not for long in my opinion. But I will pull through, and it is only through His strength.

as we go on

2009-06-22T01:55:00.002+08:00

So before I leave and become virtually uncontactable for a period of time, let me summarise what materialised over the later part of the week.

Thursday: An outing of sorts with YH, ZY and YJ. Hah, the Y's. To tell the truth, I play pool much worse than any of them. Even though I suggested pool. It's like how I love to play games I really am quite bad at. A painfully good example would be Risk. So you know we shared some more about our shared experiences. Really, it's a bit like getting stuck in the past, but I think that's perfectly fine at least for now, because that past really was quite an eventful one. We deserve our conversation's worth of discussion and mulling over it. YH really is an entertaining, top-notch conversationalist, ZY's the penultimate crapper/lamer/joker, and well, YJ has his moments and outbursts (of whatever, I don't know). Oh yes, the 3-scoops-for-3-dollars ice cream was welllll worth it.

Friday: It was supposed to be a major bridge session with B, HM and WY, but the package that day included a movie inspired by card-counters. So apt right, playing bridge right after that movie. Ahaha 'sweet sixteen'. Felt bad I was a little late, but other than that, I quite enjoyed the company, and having good hands for bridge. Turned down a chance at a gathering with some of the section, partly because I don't know how to play mahjong (and I don't intend to learn). Then, went for dinner with YX and SY, as a treat for SY's birthday and the many months of treasured friendship (hahaha). Had some mini lobster thing at a big discount, though I felt that the dish did not do plenty of justice to the crustacean (but neither did we, eating it and all), and then had a good ol' vanilla cone to fill 'er to the brim. After that, we went on a fruitless shopping jaunt for a Father's Day gift. Oh ya and I nearly lost my photocopied ID, having left it at MFM and going back an hour-plus later to get it. Thank God I found it!

Saturday: Had a sub with SY, YQ and HB. Long time since I've seen the latter two. And the former two, have had quite a good time so far compared to HB and I, so that's really... I'm really glad for them, ahaha. After a pseudo-discussion, we adjourned to a board games cafe, and well, played some games lah. Quite fun, especially the Bang! game (my second time playing), and the Ruby Rhino thing was interesting despite the lack of brains (or any effort, for that matter) needed. The Wrong Game was a bit of a let-down, not very challenging, but Blokus revealed the inner cunning in all of us. Like I didn't know, right, hahaha. Then after that, headed off to the COUSIN'S place to discuss about what to do for my maternal grandma's birthday. I'll just say this: "GAHHHH!" Okay.

So, on a totally unrelated note, I know where I'm going off to next. It's bittersweet (seems to be my new favourite word), because while I know many people want in on this, not many get selected in the end, and to some, it seems a prestige. But obviously the flipside is that there's going to be a lot of sacrifice and maybe even different levels of suffering to be had. Oh well, I'm going to take things as they come and cast it all unto Him. And that would be only in a matter of hours..!

back to life as we know it

2009-06-18T00:16:00.003+08:00

So on Saturday, K and I went for this carnival thing at SAC, labelled Playmax. I guess it would have been a lot more exciting if you went in a bigger group, but the others K asked along couldn't make it, or could only make it late (and ended up cancelling on us). While I wouldn't say it was roaring fun or anything, it did give us a much-treasured opportunity for fellowship, and to just catch up with each other. Thing is though, at such carnivals, there'd be the quintessential carnival games in all their cheesy glory, but as we made our dutiful turns at each of them, we somehow really tried our best at not letting any of them get the better of us. So what if they were targeted at adolescents, they weren't very simple at all. Then after that we watched a strongman performance plus a slapstick sketch. Saw B and E, and various other familiars there as well. All in all, as an effort to reach out to the community and the youth in particular, I would commend the entire event, though I felt that the high ticket price would be a partial deterrent for some. After that, HM came over to catch up as well, and while they had their value-for-money subs, I ate some donated cookies. Yes, I have been gravely and terribly affected by the recession, haha. And it is then I have realised that it isn't actually entirely impossible to talk to girls about what I've gone through the past few weeks, ahaha.

These are what my keen information-gathering skills have come up with: K has a pretty happening social life. HM has a very, very happening social life.

Tuesday saw me going for the interview and test. Both were reasonably alright, and I guess I managed pretty well. Only thing is that I don't actually see myself in that academic field, so the entire process for me was pretty stress-free. Lunch at the restaurant there was really value-for-money (this term will become more important to me), given the kind of food and ambience for that kind of price - I really enjoyed it with the FATHER. After that in the evening, joined K, WY, HM and B plus J for a short while at the cafe, before following J to meet ZT, V and M. Talked A LOT about our shared (haha) experiences (strangely I'm not bored of it yet), watched some Peranakan play rehearsal, and had some good old vanilla cone.

These are what my keen information-gathering skills have come up with: Ambience is key to food enjoyment, more so than I have realised. ZT can keep his hair. M is still caught up with his experiences, haha, must have been unforgettable. V has somewhat higher levels of myostin (go look it up and you'll know what I mean).

Went out for lunch with the family on Wednesday, exploiting the various discounts and promotions restaurants have come up with because of the recession, er the Great Singapore Sale, I think. After that, caught up with B near her place, where they serve good (as always) apple strudel. I think this was the ultimate catching-up session EVER, we went on for a good four hours, talking about things that truly meant something. It was really meaningful fellowship for me, and hopefully for her as well.

These are what my keen information-gathering skills have come up with: B is a changed person, and I would say it is for the better. (:

Am thoroughly enjoying what little time I have before going back in, and looking forward to the rest of the week.

Pop goes the weasel

2009-06-12T23:47:00.003+08:00

So there go nine weeks, gone in a twinkling, a flash of time, seconds - so premature, yet so long-awaited. Perhaps it's true our education system is rather stifling; it's been quite a long while since I felt so different. Or maybe the experience of it all was just so starkly different from everything I'm used to, affecting me so greatly. But while all good things must come to an end, who says we can't procrastinate?

So quite immediately after it ended i.e. the next day, some of us booked badminton courts and well, played badminton. Been a long time since I touched the sport, so was a bit rusty when wielding my cobwebbed racquet. Though, it took only a while before I really started playing, and it was really fun playing with the rest of them, for three hours straight. After that, had some good chicken rice.

Then we went out again the next day! This time, with a bigger gang (admittedly, badminton's not everyone's sporting cup of tea, so.) of people, at Sentosa. It's kind of ironic, in that we already had so much sun, but you know, uneven, ugly tan lines call for such ironic measures. Basically I tried my hand in sports I previously wouldn't touch, like frisbee or beach volleyball, and doing all sorts of myriad crap in between. Operative phrase being 'tried my hand'. They were fun, but I prefer just soaking in the sea, and engaging in meaningful conversation, haha. Oh and we had dinner at ******! (the exclamation mark is not a typo), and I will tell you now that the service there should be banished to the darkest depths of some abysmal abyss. Food was passable given the not-so-value-for-my-hard-earned-money pricing, but giving us the wrong order and being so unwilling to do anything about it just about breaks the golden rule of service: No, it's not that the customer is always right, but, that reason is always right i.e. unreasonable service personnel shouldn't even be working at all. Anyway.

Hopefully, we'll get to see each other again, and given the slim chance of doing so, it is indeed some sort of obese, fat-ridden hope. Nonetheless, it's still worth hoping. We could continue procrastinating and ignoring the deadline presented to us just two days ago, keeping in touch even as we move on in different directions.

reflective half-essay

2009-06-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

Okay it's coming to an end soon - for the most of it, it was quite fun, even exciting. Obviously it wasn't ALL good, if not it would be Bali, but other than that, it was seriously much better than expected. I'm not sure how I would be able to adjust to another environment without the people I've been through with so much so far, plus how I still would be detached from my original circle of family and friends for yet another period of time. I feel like I'm writing some reflective essay, and maybe I am, but it's really how other people have put it - I went in not expecting much, yet came out of it bringing plenty.

Many of them, the people I've met and interacted with so much over the few short weeks, they were certainly not perfect. They could do much better with cleaner language, maybe a few pointers on courtesy and etiquette, but who am I to judge. Most of them, I find, would agree that all such good things must come to an end (and a very short and premature end might I add), even as we may not enjoy the routine and regimen of it so much, we certainly enjoyed each other's company as we went through each bit of it, complaining and crapping together. Somehow, a bit of me wishes this would not end but continue on for the rest of the time I have to serve, just remaining on that piece of land up northeast, continuing to do what we do. Pretty aimless, but definitely a lot of fun (it's funny how I find it fun when I'm out, but when I'm in, it isn't really so).

nicely put

2009-05-29T17:11:00.005+08:00

It's about time I came back here; previously everything was a mad rush, making me give this a little miss. These few weeks have been full of pleasant surprises as well as a little disappointment, but I guess these pass over me really quickly, because by then, I realise all of these were somewhat expected. So I can't really call them surprises. Then again, they do surprise me. I'm being so vague I think no one else will know what I'm talking about except me. Yes, that's what vague is. I forget.

Okay shall move on to the more tangible experiences I've gone through. Still need to be vague about it due to certain national obligations, but good enough I guess. Over the period, I've been given many roles to play, and certain responsibilities to fulfil. And over that same period, I guess I've learnt an extraordinary amount about myself, and I thank God for that.

I guess as many people know me, I'm very conservative in many very different ways. I shy away from the new and untested, and stick to the routine, often uncomfortable out of my, well, comfort zone. But what I've gone through over the past seven or so weeks, has given me a new confidence in the abilities that I've been blessed with. Not to say they are anything much, but certainly, they aren't nothing either. Taking the lead in an environment with ultra-dominant personalities of course was not easy, but to me, it felt natural, in the sense of hey-it's-actually-not-so-bad-after-all.

I think morally as well, I've kept my ground pretty well. It undeniably takes a lot for one to remain oneself in that kind of environment, where you are bombarded with many different influences in varying degrees very frequently. I still believe that the narrow path is worth taking, no matter how hard it may be.

Ah okay, still very much vague. But at the very least I know what I'm talking about. (:

mini rant

2009-05-09T18:45:00.003+08:00

I don't get what's so difficult about letting us off for external appointments that have the potential in deciding the course of our future. It's merely a few hours off and a whole fuss is being stirred up, bureaucratically inflexible much? The whole hierarchal authority thing with the chain of command is surely impeding everything and anything, and that's why so little is being done. I mean, year in and year out, they'll be facing this same problem over and over again, inevitably, so why not make things easier for both sides?

On another note, I think I've successfully lost touch with civilisation. Not entirely, but close enough. Somehow everything seems so different and new to me when I'm out.

BAAACK

2009-05-02T00:09:00.003+08:00

Ahahaha I'm back! It's good to be back. Then again, I'll be back THERE tomorrow. Oh well, over the days I was back I didn't have the energy to contact many friends at all, the entire experience really drained me physically. Though, I did eat quite a bit of good food, to redeem all the nasty culinary specimens I was doomed to consume for the period. The hotel buffet I went to just now is probably one of the most worth-it ones I've ever patronised. But only because of the huge discount offered. The PARENTS really do know me well.

On another note, let me recount the good and the bad. Though I'm probably bound not to say much because of certain obligations, let's just discuss the common public conceptions and I'll add in my own personal anecdotes. That shouldn't be against the law, ya? Haha.

Conception #1: People come out of it with a newfound knowledge of profane and vulgar language, and the irresistible urge to practise it.

Okay, let's just be clear about this. There is plenty of such influence in there, I am certain. EVERYONE does it, from the highest to the lowest. I've seen and I've heard, and it's no secret. That being said, I can still proudly claim truthfully that I have NOT been affected as such. No, I am still the same innocent, pure and undeniably mild-mannered little lamb I've always been. You may find it hard to believe, but those who've known me for some time will know that it's not impossible. I have yet to be on the same language wavelength as the others in there, and so far, surprisingly, there has not been any negative backlash. In fact, I think some people think it's awesome. I think it is too.

Conception #2: It's very slack lah.

NO LOR. Yes sometimes there's some time to do stuff, but it's not personal stuff. I've very little time to myself, so much so I've only read two pages of the book I brought. The schedule is very, very packed, and it drains one physically quite a lot, especially because I'm in a special group. In fact the whole thing is pretty rushed - mealtimes are insanely short and there's little time to sit and even be still. The learning and adaptation curve is pretty steep as a result. Maybe it's because I'm not too used to it, I'm quite a slow-moving person after all. Though, the days tend to stretch there, and so, it feels like it has been a very rushed two years in the two-plus weeks I was there.

Conception #3: A lot of people hate it for what it is.

Definitely true to some extent. It does things to people, and people do things to it. But what is sure is that there are some who are made for it. I've seen people who show a true passion for it, and I respect them for that. I can't say I have the same devotion, but I'm just taking things one step at a time. I need more time to adjust, and before that, I hope the system forgives me (so far I haven't got into any mishap!). The people around me have been surprisingly friendly and amiable, and I've made a good number of close friends in just this period alone. Something tells me there are many hidden blessings in disguise, and I will for the life of me dig them out.

It perhaps is one of the most otherworldly (haha) experiences for me so far; everything's really different (I'm being so vague here but that's how it has to be sadly :( ). New resolution: to make the best out of it.

Centennial

2009-04-12T01:31:00.004+08:00

It's the hundredth post, and fittingly, it'll look to be the last for quite a while, since I'll be militarily occupied come 13th April. I'll certainly try to post nonetheless, because I've found so many reasons to do it. And I think I'll miss writing here, partly because it's become semi-routine for me. Oh and this may sound lame, but for this post, let me try typing the entire way WITHOUT the use of the backspace function. Just to let y'all see what comes out of it. Maybe it'll be infinitely interesting. Maybe it'll be downirhgt embarrassing. SHUCKS. *points at stupid mistake*

Let's start from Wednesday, shall we? (Ok I gind myself typing rather slowly, but SHUCJS there are still mistakes SHUCKS)(

Ok on Wdnesday I gfinally got my treat from J! I dont understand why so many people look so different. Either that, or they had their entire image overhauled ofr something. Is it to escape the shcakles of the schoolgirl image? Or schoolboy image? But I thought it was in whgat. Anyhow. So we went to T3 for lunch. Oh ya the treat was for my apparent help with her CSE IS. Whether or not my help proved, erm, helpful, I still rightfully got that treat okay. (See this is what happens when I can't backspace or edit - the coherence of the whatever I am supposed to produce just isn't there! THIS ISN'T ME I REPEAT THIS ISN'T ME.) Oh ya and I'm really happy for her! And glad.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT WAS iT. Another buffet, this time at a downtown hotel. Supposedly for my results i.e. a form of celebration. On a related note, other people TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD to celebrate their resul;ts/graduation from junior college etc. but I get a dinner. Well I guess I still do appreciate it, since I do know how hard it is for my parents to earn money, and that we are alspo not that well-off. And they do know how to please me. A buffet is definitely more than enough. Okay lor, the usual. JUST ATE A LOT. What e;se tp do. I never thought I'd say this though, but I AM getting a ;little tired of eating alot. Oh well, this feeling wouldn't stay for long lah, it's not as if where I am soon going to will pamper me with gourmet cuisine ofr whatever. (My fingers are really dumb they are ot listening to me.)

Thursday night went out with G to IKEA restaurant/cafe at ALEXANDRA HOW FAR CAN YOU GET. It was really funny, because we missed each other two times, while trying to meet there. Probably couldn't recognise each other lah, didn't meet for so long, haha. TALKED LIKE A LOT. And then there was this elderly man (not as much as old as he was weird) who sat next to us (being the kind souls that we are. Actually, no, since he just sat himself down besdie us, I think) and proceeded with his meal. That's okay actually, until he finished his meal, and sat there for I think nearly a full halrf hour NOT DOING ANYTHING. G suspected something was up with the guy, and I of course couldn't disagree. I mean, sitting there and doing nothing, cannot just mean that he's enjoying the air-conditioning right? You know what maybe I do attract weird people. Then we went to a shjopping centre opposite where almost every boutique was a factory outlet!!! EQUATES to branded goods at low low prices. Couldn't fathom why all the outlets were there though. So weird. To make up for my stinky present of a file, I bought the BROTHER a cheap handphone pouch. THAT USED TO COST UNREASONABLY HIGH. So you see the gifts I buy are still thoughful (!), but nonetheless cheap and extremely cost-effective.

Friday morning went for a McDonald's breakfast with the FAMILY minus BROTHER, and for SOME reason, met a few familiar people at the Siglap outlet. Small world man. Too small in fact! Even though those were friendlyt faces. Then in the afternoon entertained SY, HM, JY, C, B at my place. First time having so many people over, and it wasn't even my idea! But ya, it was alright, though I suspect some of them got bored even before playing Risk but I tell you you should have seen their faces during the game. All the strategists were strategising and ONCE AGAIN I'M LIKE THE DE FACTO TARGET WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE LET ME WIN FOR ONCE I HATE PLAYING WITH TJ PEOPLE hahaha. Oh before that let me now credit the MOTHER for the shepherd's pie and a friend for the tiramisu. Come to my house will get good food to eat don't even need to order pizza, how worth it. Well, I do hope they had fun even though Veggietales didn't quite agree with the DVD player. Minnesota Cuke would have tickled them all lah.

Oh and on Saturday I had an interview and test with ***, and I guess everything went rather smoothly, without any major hiccups. But by the looks of the profile of the interviewee population there, I do doubt that it is a place for me to study well in and to basically lead a fulfilling university career. I just can't seem to imagine myself as a student there, but I guess I'll still consider it, even though I might be so disinclined towards it at the moment.

So yes, I'm about to go in this Monday, and in th elast few days I've certainly found out friends and friends' friends who would be going in on the same day as me, which would probably mean that they might very well end up in the same grouping as me. Well, I guess that is probably a little of relief; familiar faces should make things a lot easier. I'll just have to keep reminding myself that this is perhaps an experience which would benefit me a lot more than I realise, and put everything into His hands. Hope to do good!

Shaven and shorn

2009-04-08T00:04:00.002+08:00

That's what I am right now, in preparation for the BIG DAY. WHOOOOOO.

To prepare myself for the supposed shock that most guys get that is, when they see themselves in all the bald and shiny glory, in front of the mirror in all its bald and shiny glory. Surprisingly though, I was instead rather shocked, that I wasn't that shocked. I guess there was a bald guy in me after all. Okay lah I'm not completely bald, but close.

My head looks a lot bigger than it used to (which is saying a lot because my head really is the big and round type. Sad but true), and it feels a little lighter as well, as though an elephant finally decided to alight and go on its merry way to Africa instead of hitching a ride on my head.

I won't say I look doobish, but close to that. On the contrary, some people I've met so far say that I look better. To that, I seriously wonder how I looked like to the same people before the hair was gone. I must have looked doobish.

On another note, I am seriously glad Ms K is my referee. I handed her yet another report on such a tight deadline, but she still did it for me anyway WITHOUT telling me off. Thank God for her!

OH ON A RELATED NOTE, I don't get why some universities BOTHER to use online application portals when they can't even get the portals to work properly. I don't understand that at all. Okay so they may want to keep up with rest of the seemingly superior competition (because these universities actually do have proper, working portals), but if your portal isn't going to work properly at all, that whole impression you're trying to give? IT'S GONE, YOU LAWN.

AND ON ANOTHER RELATED NOTE, I seriously hope universities and scholarship providers alike do manage to make the effort to at least contact me or someone in the FAMILY, if anything. Please do not follow the example of *** and call me, drop me a lame voicemail, and leave it at that, expecting me to eagerly dial the number and listen to the voicemail in great, giggly anticipation. At least email lah. Interviews are good and beneficial you know, everyone should have them for breakfast.

Yeah, I think scholarship providers should give EVERYONE who applied the chance to be interviewed. If not for practical reasons such as casting the net wide enough, it should be for patriotic reasons, because the first interview is always the stinkiest. I remember having my first interview (not telling where/who/when), and it stank so bad they fainted. Like seriously, there I was not really quite knowing what to say, giving answers that sounded like they were to the point but after some thinking through I think they knew I didn't know what I was talking about. And I had the weird habit of looking heavenwards when I was thinking, which probably irritated them. I think. *looks heavenwards*

So as I was saying (shaddap I didn't digress, ALL of it was to the sharpest point), if these providers provided more people with interview opportunities, many of us would instantly become more eloquent speakers and express ourselves better (this one I'm serious). Then all of us can become better than some of the angmohs that many Singaporean office workers complain about (all talk no work), because, we, can, then, TALK AND WORK. So see it's patriotic okayrestmycaseIwin.

Side-note: Ah see, no food mentioned in this post. Haha.

PHWOAR #2

2009-04-03T02:12:00.003+08:00

It is official. PHWOAR stands for Posterity Happens When Occasions Are Remembered (I'm good at acronyms I know I know I know). Which basically means a post because I need to remember the things that happen to me, even if they seem trivial, because all the little things add up!

Okay last time I blogged was last Wednesday, so let's do a little time-travelling.

When it was Thursday, on the 26th day of March, the boss gave us ALL a treat! Supposedly in my honour some more. Now you can't get that at a huge firm because that'll just be plain uneconomical. So we went for, er, Thai-Indonesian-Peranakan-anything-you-can-find-in-Southeast-Asia-just-throw-it-in food! It was filling, but...

To be honest, my discerning tastebuds could tell that the assam prawns weren't assam enough, the tom yum soup wasn't tom yum (or is it yam?) enough. Basically, the tastes should be sharper and more flavourful. The chef must have had a scolding from the boss, that's what I think. Either that or he is a boring old man.

After work I went home and TOILED till 4am. See later why.

OKAY FRIDAY THAT DAY. My last day of work. Note the lack of exclamation mark because I was sad. That was bad. They specially cooked porridge and brought a lot of side dishes, and then sat me down and made me eat lunch with them, hahaha. (One of the aunties said that I was now all ready for NS, after they had given me enough nutrition already. Which is quite true.) Anyhow after lunch I gave them each a personalised letter that I had TOILED over the night before. They were really quite touched (and rightly so! A lot of effort put in, until I dozed off midway I NEVER DO THAT), some with tears in their eyes (didn't cry lah but can see). So that basically dragged on until the end of the day where they each came up to me and said their goodbyes and gave me some motherly advice hahaha. And I hope they'll make good on their promise to let me know to go back if they've got some good food (yes that's most important and probably one of the things I'll miss most).

OKAY SATURDAY. Ate breakfast with M (no shaddap it's not Judi Dench) at Delifrance. Somehow that place manages to make very little food seem like a lot (and that's saying a lot because I can eat a lot). Or maybe it's because of the free flow of coffee/tea (the MOTHER says that's quite worth it because tea at pseudo-café establishments tend to be overpriced). We talked a lot (yes I only eat and talk don't ask me to do anything else), and well, I'm glad to be of some help at least. (:

After that I went to get a little something for the BROTHER'S birthday. Actually got him two brightly-coloured, screaming Disney files (on purpose because all his things no colour), but the SISTER spied a file she liked after I bought them both and went for lunch with the PARENTS plus her. So now the BROTHER has the file with the Disney babies in all their infant glory. Haha and I actually forewarned the BROTHER that the file was fake, only to let him tell me actually it was the real deal. Okay I feel appeased for the weirdly high price for a piece of flimsy plastic. Oh and I'm so sad I couldn't eat much during lunch because I ate too much breakfast. That's how I get emo, hahaha (okay shall shaddap).

OKAY SUNDAY. So after church and cell group, I FINALLY meet SY and YX for dinner. You know where? It's the Heartland LINE-OF-SHOPS-IN-AN-AIR-CONDITIONED-ENVIRONMENT, that's where. NO it cannot be called Heartland MALL, because it is seriously made up of too few shops and too narrow walkways it becomes a concrete pasar malam. Oh wait pasar malam got more shops hahaha. So I went there and ate from some Hong Kong cafe thing that CHARGES FOR PLAIN WATER HOW LAME CAN THIS GET I DON'T GET THEM. But the food was okay though YX was complaining about the LOUSY CURRY HOW LAME CAN THIS GET SHE DOESN'T GET THEM.

OH YES AND THANK GOD I WENT AND MET UP WITH THEM, REALLY. A certain university required both submission of both application AND supporting documents ON THE SAME DAY and I didn't realise it until then! FIASCO (actually the word sounds quite vulgar). If not for them, I'd probably miss the last boat. And Ms K was also very nice about it even though I informed her late.

On to happier and less stressful things. I got my overdue present! Aaaand, it's a bag with apparently feminine buckles as mentioned by SY. How anti-climatic, bestowing a, might I add, rather expensive present and then whoosh, pouring all the cold water on it, hahahaha. BUT NO, it's not feminine! Where got buckles feminine?! Like that guys cannot wear belts because they have freaking big feminine buckles in the middle ABOVE the nether regions... So it's like imposing its feminity on the symbol of manhood, suppressing it even! *HERRR!* (no it's not a war-cry for feminist, Amazonian women warriors a la "HER! HER! HER!" but the sound that is produced when a sharp breath is drawn a la *HERRR!*) But no, buckles are but unisex accessories, asexual even. So that means that SY and YX know me pretty well, ahaha. Well, the bag is nice, and through my brilliant deductions, I know the general price of the bag, HEEEHEEE. Anyhow, thanks to the both of you! Going to try use it some before going in.

OKAY MONDAY. Ms K got back to me really quickly, it is much appreciated. Spent the day doing applications.

OKAY TUESDAY DITTO MONDAY.

OKAY WEDNESDAY. Today I met SY's paternal side of the family, or more like the one whom paternal is derived from. He chauffeured SY and me to the university to drop off our applications and documents. I got a rude shock over there when I realised the website instructions were different from the words coming out from the admissions officer's mouth. Breakdown in communication much?

So of course I had to tell the truth: that it was their fault. No, really. Anyway that was settled soon after (I hope). Then SY's father brought us for lunch there. It was quite a nice place as well, and I wished that he didn't spend so much on my meal. Even I do feel bad sometimes no matter how appearances may deceive you, hahaha. Anyhow, I especially enjoyed the soup with the pastry hat (don't know what's it called), but wow, was it filling. I think I ate the most there. Oh wait of course I did. Even gladly took leftovers from others, haha.

SY's father's really quite nice, and I can tell he thinks like an engineer (he's one). Don't know why but I somehow sort of admire people who can think as such, probably because I can't think like that really well.

OH YA and I played a game of pool with SY. Even though I won (yesss I won), admittedly SY is the better player. Just that I managed to get well-placed shots most of the time. Oh whatever actually I'm quite good too, hahahaha.

And you know what?! I went for international buffet later on! As if I hadn't had enough food. It was at a nice hotel, which I didn't expect to be upmarket but it looked really classy and modern, much to my surprise, so that was good. The food was good too, with a reasonable spread and lovely presentation. All that only means one thing: I could increase my chances of bankrupting the place. I seriously ate so much that even I surprised myself. I'm so scary, hahaha.

OKAY THURSDAY. MORE APPLICATIONS MORE.

So far that's about it. (:

WAH AGAIN

2009-03-25T21:59:00.005+08:00

WHOO got a treat today! One of my colleagues treated me to crab noodles/bee hoon! Y'all know what it is right? A WHOLE crab is placed into some broth with noodles (or they add in the noodles later, I don't know) and simmered to crab noodles/bee hoon perfection! So R (that's her) (that's the colleague) ordered two different kinds (black pepper and er, brothy?), and then we took a bit of each; trying more varieties is good. I didn't expect it but it was really nice! It was either because the crab was really fresh (whole chunky slivers of meat/whole slivery chunks of meat/FRESH MEAT MUAHAHA), or because I was eating for free. Hm. Well I think it was the former mostly lah.

UNTIL I KNEW THE PRICE. Wah, really expensive, at $16++! Okay lah, it's crab and it's really good, but still it wasn't a fancy place or anything like that. But it was really good. The place was packed with office workers. Who said there's a recession?

And R is a professional crab eater. By the looks of it, she eats whole crabs at least thrice a week, which is a lot. Haha no I'm just kidding. Probably every day, seven times a day. The way she manages to get the meat out in aesthetically pleasing chunks is amazing. I've learnt something new today!

Okay so you know I've been through so many harrowing experiences. All of it is traumatising my innocent mind, and it's really too much to take! *squeals*

WELL GUESS WHAT PEOPLE, THEY AREN'T LETTING ME OFF. THE TRAIN IS A SMORGASBORD OF PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION READY FOR SALE. IT'S LELONG TIME THERE I TELL YOU.

Okay here are the circumstances of the accident. So I boarded the train and saw four people sitting on the floor of the train, at the part where two carriages meet (the part which always shifts about whenever the train turns or something). Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) they were of the same race as the previous two couples. Beats me, seriously.

Three were girls (the other is now obviously a guy). Two of the girls looked normal (the other now obviously doesn't). In fact, she looked like a little *gasp* dull in her outlook on life as well. AND GUESS WHAT THE GUY HAD HIS HANDS ALL OVER HER AND YES, SHE HAD A REDDENED FACE AS WELL AND WAS TEARING. AGAIN.

Well this time the guy didn't look smarter or anything, as was the case last time. The guy, he looked to be sixteen/seventeen, but he was studying a P6 maths book. I kid you not. How were his hands all over, you ask. Well, use one hand lor. One hand busy with work, the other hand busy with play.

Haha I don't know whether I'm desensitised or something, but I didn't feel so uneasy this time round. It was more of amusing really. Picture this. The guy (he's King Kong from now on, not that he looks like one, in fact he looks much better, but that he BEHAVES like one) likes to put his arm around the girl, and so he does it repeatedly even though the girl is all teary and red-faced and refusing his King Kongish advances. She starts to tear more, and then all of a sudden, she goes into a retarded fit and whacks King Kong madly, pinching every part of his body she could reach (yes every part now shaddap). He grimaces fakely and puts on this pained look, probably because he wanted her sympathy/concern (?), but the girl BIT HIS EAR. Then he sort of shouted (like some silverbacked gorilla), and everyone looked. Way to go I tell you.

The other two girls laughed like normal girls do, and the teary girl just teared. Here comes the part that takes the cake. I don't know whether it'll seem funny or not, but it sure did just now.

He made a few pats on his shoulder closest to her, gesticulating like a monyet (how animalistic).

"Nar, sleep." (Don't ask me what nar means, it's the sound of King Kong.)
"Sleep lah."
"Sleeeeeep."

Then he SHOVES her head onto his shoulder. See I told you he's King Kong.

The head bounces back up and tears some more.

Shove.

Bounce.

Shove.

Bounce. Shove. Bounce. Shove. Bounce.

She didn't go into some mad, retarded fit again though. I guess she didn't have a chance to because King Kong decided that was that, and went back to his P6 maths.

Okay that wasn't really a public display of affection lah, if I should say so myself. It was just a public display of animalistic behaviour. Better go to the zoo for that. More worth it. Train rides are so expensive nowadays.

I must really be living under some rock

2009-03-24T22:08:00.004+08:00

Why? Because, when I witness public displays of (rather extreme) affection I get a little uneasy. Call me a prude or whatever, but it's because I don't witness them from afar or in an easy-to-escape-if-I-want-to situation. It's when they're within a certain proximity from me or sitting right next to me for that matter. And I'm sorry, but it's especially worse when the girl looks a little Down Syndrome-ish (no I'm serious and by this I'm not mocking or anything) and the guy who's doing all sorts of things to/with her looks like he's taking advantage of some little naive girl. I feel uneasy, for the girl who doesn't seem to mind whatever he is doing to her, and for myself because I do mind. Well, not to the extent where I'll burn them on some stake or something, but close enough. Like rolling my eyes or something, hahaha. But as it is known, that isn't going to work. Of course not. Who cares about your rolling eyes when all they care about are rolling tongues. Okay I feel uneasy already.

So the first time was when I was at the beach, then I saw this couple there. The girl seriously looked like she suffered from Down Syndrome, with the overtly button nose and high, sometimes bulbous forehead, and the guy's hands were, let's put it this way, everywhere. The guy looked like he was five or seven years older than she was. To be fair, she herself looked older than me.

She was tearing quite a lot or something, her whole face was red and the mouth was down-turned. Obviously this raises alarm bells, and yes, the whole LAPD and Scotland Yard ran in through one ear. The left one, to be specific.

But then the whole force and K-9 unit ran out again, sirens, batons and all, through the other. Why? Because her hands were everywhere as well. I can't possibly go there and scream, "Stop it!" and have both of them look at me and say "WHY????????" in that irritating, whining sort of way where they really want something and you are trying to stop them from getting/doing that very thing, and then they continue with whatever they're doing. No.

The more recent encounter was in the train. This is what I mean by the cannot-escape-even-if-I-wanted-to sort of situation. This couple (note that I'm not bringing up any unnecessary physical description like race because even though both couples I've mentioned so far share the same race it's not isolated to only that certain race okay), again, hands everywhere, faces everywhere. So, I was standing next to them, and I thought I spied the girl's hands going too far south on him. Don't forget that she also looked quite dull, in the mental acuteness kind of way. She was also in uniform, possibly from a special needs school, I'm serious. But then, she seemed to be rather sexually mature, considering her actions at that point in time. So I moved away, like about four steps, because more would have drawn too much attention to myself, and that would show that I mind. Actually why do I even care, I saw some of the other passengers audibly tsk-ing their merry way. But that's how I thought at that point in time. AND THEN, GUESS WHAT.

GUESS LAHHHH.

They moved towards me! Like somehow, they waddled three steps in my direction, smooching-wooching all the while. In the meantime I tried to look bored. So I faced the opposite direction i.e. towards the other end of the carriage.

They moved even CLOSER. I could hear them better but not see them any. What's wrong with these people. So I shifted to the opposite side of the carriage, this time breadth-wise, which means that I stood nearer to the initially-opposite row of seated, tsk-ing people. (People don't just tsk for nothing you know. The tsks come whenever a kissing sound is made. HAHA. So it's like *kiss* *tsk* *kiss* *tsk* and the really big ones like *mua* or *oua* or whatever are followed by the assorted wah laos and sighs, ahaha.)

So, GUESS WHAT. Okay no need to guess, this one you know already. They somehow followed me again. This time it wasn't really following, but they did move to the opposite side of the carriage i.e. my side again! See what I mean by being in such situations.

Okay lah it's possible for me to escape if I really wanted to, by like screaming and shouting at them to get away from me, but that would be extreme. Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. Oh that just sounds so wrong in this context.

I think everyone sort of noticed what they were doing. But you know what, it was a coincidence really (I think), because after I gave up moving around, they continued doing so. Which means they weren't following me. Which is true because for the most part the world doesn't revolve around me.

They stayed in the same carriage, glued to each other, but they were still moving around. Like floating weeds or something. After a while they gravitated towards the metal pole in the centre of the carriage. Hahaha. It reminded me of the spiders' mating dance I used to see on documentaries, where the spiders would be connected to each other (somehow) and they would do a sort of dance all around on the female spider's web. Or was it some other kind of insect. All the same.

I must really be living under some rock, I tell you. Some big rock, where things like these are so funny, amusing and weird at the same time.

Side-note: SY and YX (especially) better make it this weekend. Or I'll lock them in the same carriage with the pseudo-spiders in heat.

PHWOAR

2009-03-21T15:53:00.007+08:00

So long didn't post anything already. It's actually weird because some time back I thought nothing of not touching this space on the web for an entire year, but now I feel the need to. Perhaps it's because it's one of the few ways I can (sort of) still be vaguely connected to others, since I don't have any accounts on Facebook or other online social networks. It's not as if a lot of people visit this place, BUT IT'S CERTAINLY MORE THAN THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO COMMENT OH MY GOODNESS WHOEVER YOU ARE IF YOU READ PLEASE LEAVE SOME SORT OF TRACE BEHIND I HATE TO THINK THAT SOME PEOPLE KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT ME BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM IT'S FREAKY I DON'T CARE IF I DON'T REALLY REVEAL WHO I AM BECAUSE I KNOW YOU THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW THAT YOU KNOW BUT REALLY I DO KNOW THAT YOU DO.

I know okay.

Anyway I have so much to say. POSTERITY TIME.

So 123 came and went, and so many people remembered compared to last year! Must be because the A's are out of the way, and finally everyone can straighten out their thinking and remember the most important things in life. M gave me a nice pouch which I assumed was a handphone pouch, so now it's my handphone pouch because I assumed it was. The SISTER, since I bought her some expensive chocolate thing for her birthday, reciprocated with something from those gift shops that are out to suck money. But still it's a gift I will love it all the same and treat it well.

Ok on Friday the 13th it wasn't unlucky because I don't believe in that. Oh ya and also because I got a treat! From K nonetheless. She said that 'it was worth it treating a good friend' like me (something along that line, give or take eight or so words). So you know, I love treats, and by association I will adore people who give me treats. Went for Japanese food! (I still love it by the way but somehow a little less than before. WHY.) Then after that we got all moody about A level results (okay I shall shut up about that now), so to lift them spirits we went to the arcade! And played lame games like spot the differences and those ten-second things which stress you out greatly, especially for two people who can't play well/to save themselves/for nuts. Oh ya then came the first of many comments to come that said I looked good in work clothes (but of course) compared to school attire.

Saturday the 14th! YX and I chiong-ed

(colloquialism explanation time [to be imagined in those irritating computer voices with lame names like Martin or Jenna or doob that are always broken because they pronounce words WRONGLY 60% of the time]: chiong. To rush; to quickly accomplish a task in a frenzied state that will leave one debilitated for the rest of one's life. For example, we can say, "YX chiong-ed to the loo." Alternatively, we can also say, "YX chiong-ed her sandwich because she needed the loo.")

both NUS and NTU open houses, because spending the whole weekend merely on open houses is never justifiable in this universe.

We learnt a little,

got confused a bit,

and were tired plenty

at the end of it.

For the sake of rhyme,

I just ate a zit.

The MOTHER'S church friends remembered all of our birthdays, but since the BROTHER wasn't around, the SISTER and I got to celebrate it with them at night. So much food can, and it was very thoughtful of them because it was almost like a surprise, very unexpected. These days we get so little of that. <---- HINT DARNNIT.

Sunday the 15th I went out for dinner with ZY and SY for buffet. Apparently they now think I can eat a lot. Well, I can. So we stayed there from 6.45 all the way to 10.30 (closing time), and I ate the whole way MUAHAHA it's time to get my money back oh wait I didn't pay.

MUAHAHAHA.

Oh ya and I actually made small talk with this lady diner at the food counter who was wondering where the atapchi were. I pointed them out, and then she started telling me all about how they were fantastic with yam ice-cream, which was really nice of her but because I was too full I skipped that and just took ice kacang and plenty of fruit and more drinks. So funny right! Even funnier was that she turned out to be SY's cousin and all of 40-odd years old! SO FUNNY RIGHT. I think SY's family is stalking him or something hahaha. After that we had to take a walk because we were all too full. Took the last train home with ZY (I never did that before!) (I know, shaddap ah).

Monday the 16th was E's farewell party because she's going to this faraway place called the Nomadic Homelands of the Arizon (the barren sisterland of the Amazon) where the nightsky is amazing and the desert is everywhere. Oh yes and where people are friendly to you if you are tall so E should fit in quite nicely there. Met nearly the entire Lamentable Empire at the gathering, and ate a lot again. I hope E has a great time there, and that she won't come back too angmoh-cised and everything. Hahaha but I think she will.

Fast-forward to Friday the 20th: the BROTHER'S birthday!

I think he spent it like it was any other day,

to him it isn't much of a big deal anyway.

Er in two months' time it'll be Maaay.

(I think I make a fantastic songwriter.)

Oh ya and I saw D at the train station with a bloody mouth and Ms WYY in the bus. How ordinary. I expected ABBA at least.

Okay now I need to make a real point. I don't understand why some people see climbing the escalator as a requisite, and that not doing so is impolite or plain rude. I can understand if you are in a rush, and that's why I stand to the left side, and so do many other commuters. What I don't get is the perception that prevails among office workers in the CBD area, that climbing escalators is a given. Escalators aren't made for climbing! The steps are so high and such a distance from each other that climbing can give you

a) wedgies,
b) zao-kengs (for lack of a better and more fitting word) if wearing a skirt,
c) clanking sounds if in office footwear e.g. court shoes, heels
d) nasty falls, from the pointy things on the steps and the clumsy syndrome (I have this)

But anyway, it's okay to climb escalators lah. Unless I'm on the same one.

THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY POST SO I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT

2009-03-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

"Greetings, people of Cramada!"

*a resounding silence followed by half-hearted attempts to start uproarious Applause but because everyone is so timid they don't really catch on and thus the half-hearted attempts remain just that and soon after they die down because the people who started them aren't exactly brave either*

*more resounding silence because the speaker was dumb enough to expect Applause because of the temporary trend of being fashionably late but apparently the Applause just seemed to be like some over-grown full-term baby unwilling to pop out and instead the nurses can only see its damp head swathed in black and nothing else*

*eyes scan the cavernous hall, trying to detect some signs of life. Any life*

*clearing of throat because that's the only thing one can do when one is nervous, utterly embarrassed, and acutely aware of one's dismal situation, all at the same time*

"I, the Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, Associate of the Greats of Cramada, Rear-Admiral of the Seventh Division of Murmur, and disputed Ruler of the Eastern Regions, *catches breath*, am deeply honoured to declare the 12th day of March a day of great celebration and reflection, a day when the senior will reminisce the great feats of our Founder, and a day when the young will begin on the foundations of their character."

*pauses for dramatic effect*

"From the deepest recesses of ancient history, our great Leader demonstrated immense tenacity and powerful resolve. It was his ever indomitable spirit that has seen us through the ages, living on in each of us, empowering us to excel and to forge frontiers. His strong character and principled actions have instilled in us the greatest sense of humanity and community. It is as thus we are the most powerful and yet the most compassionate of beings, while not even being remotely interesting nonetheless."

*dry cough from the deepest recesses of the hall*

*stare*

*glare*

"We have certainly come thus far, as a nation, as a people, as a family. While we prosper, we should never take things for granted. Like that time, when I told the coffeeshop auntie to prepare coffee (what else) for me, I took it for granted that she would brew me premium Blue Mountain coffee, since I'm the Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, Associate of the Greats of Cramada, Rear-Admiral of the Seventh Division of Murmur, and disputed Ruler of the Eastern Regions, *catches breath*, but no. She sneered at me after that, and said that she was the ultimate ruler of the Nether Regions. Whatever. I still rule in the Eastern Regions."

"And we should never bow to other countries, but we must embrace the Outsiders with open arms. After all, that is what our Magnificent Moomoo would have done. His gentle empathy for other beings and aversion to narrow-mindedness are enduring lessons for our citizens. For we cannot be called true Cramadians unless we effortlessly display that level of graciousness. And you over there. Yes you. Yes the one with the ugly shirt on, stop looking around, I'm talking to you. Now get over with the small talk and listen. No no, don't give me that constipated look. I hate it when people do that. Pay attention or else you will get to know what happens when you interrupt an Associate of the Greats of Cramada!"

"As it is often said among Cramadians, the sh-"

*GONG*

*Another grand-looking person holding a gigantic clock a la Alice in Wonderland waltzes up to the podium*

"That will be enough, Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, thank you very much. I, the Enduring Timekeeper, would like to note that time is of the essence here, and it seems that you took too much Brand's this anti-night. That is, might I add, anti-legal in Cramada because we don't believe in its said properties."

"We will now, at this point in time, partake of a Minute in Silence, to commemorate His Greatness' penchant for quiet and solitude, before the Annual Carnival of noise and anti-silence. Let the Minute begin."

*after one minute of silence, which wasn't too hard to achieve anyway and would have probably dragged on longer, if not for the Timekeeper's addiction to anti-tardiness, because everyone was too disinterested*

"Thank you for your kind cooperation. Please proceed to Wing Five for the reception, and to Wing Four for the special durian cream puffs. Might I add that the aforementioned puffs are only to be consumed before meals, in the example of our Most Esteemed Comrade. Those who intentionally pit themselves against the glorious memories of the Conqueror, please proceed to Wing Ten. You will be accorded appropriate treatment. Thank you and have a great Founders' Day."

My eyes have been opened

2009-03-07T01:31:00.006+08:00

My eyes have been opened. It was the collection of results today. My human nature may be happy about my results, but spiritually, I am rejoicing. My trust in God has carried me through, and helped me remain unexpectedly collected, at least by my standards.

But why do I say my eyes have been opened? I've been in the college for the past four years, and I can safely say that the A levels have been such surprise springers. Achievers have been known to crumble, and there are those who rise from the ashes. It's very much like the tumbling thing in a washing machine; the A levels reset everything - it doesn't matter how well or whatever you did previously, apparently the only thing that matters is the now, the now when you get the results back.

But I disagree. To everyone out there, whoever is so reading - consistency is what truly matters. The results may give you the extra boost, or one foot in the door, but it cannot mask mediocrity in the long run. Keep doing what you are passionate in, it will pay off; never let the results decide what you are good in or not, of which have only been determined in what, three to six hours?

So many of the people I know are specialists i.e. they are especially proficient in a subject or two. The A levels require you to take a spread, and the Singapore syllabus is more demanding - you need to take a subject that could be entirely out of your field. Kudos to those who can handle it, but the real world doesn't necessarily work that way. I don't need trigonometry if I want to read Law. I don't need to be painstakingly familiar with Operation Coldstore if I want to take on Engineering. I don't have to care for externalities if I am into the Life Sciences. While I fully support the push for multi-disciplinary learning, don't let any mal-performance in this area bring anyone down. Because it's not for everyone.

While there are always issues with the subjective examination of scripts especially in written subjects, that cannot be helped in the near future. What I take issue with is the lack of disclosure of how we scored exactly. Definitely, the examination board should be trusted as a relevant authority, and of course we don't want people to be scrambling for their grades to be pushed up. But if there aren't any mistakes made in examination, can't all of us clearly see there isn't any point in harassing for marks? We would only look dumb and irrational if we did so. Barring the case of mass hysteria (it happens I guess) in such circumstances, I don't see why how the grading is done should not be disclosed. Shouldn't we learn from the mistakes we made?

Anyhow, one person who, so to speak, rose from the ashes, is N. I'm really happy for her, because I know she put in a lot of effort. I've helped her with quite a few subjects before, and I could see the diligence. Something redeeming about the A levels is that, well, they are redeeming.

I smsed many of my teachers who had taught me the various subjects, thanking them for all of their dedication. Here's what some of them said (more or less, and without the sms English, haha), for posterity's sake:

Lit Teacher 1:

"Hello darling! I'm very proud of you. :) But your A was entirely your own effort. Good luck with everything you do in the future and be in touch. Much love."

and later on

"Celebrate lots. :)"

Lit Teacher 2:

"Aw you're so welcome Cram! You were such a joy to teach - I really miss teaching your class by the way - and I'm so happy you did well. Your hard work paid off :) congrats and have fun celebrating."

The Lit teachers are great lah; they bring the subject to life.

Econs Teacher:

Basically I had quite a long sms conversation with her, especially since she already wasn't around in college. So these are the noteworthy bits.

"How did everybody else do?"

I told her what I knew.

"Ok. Thanks for informing me!"

I thanked her again.

"That's good. I'm very worried for your class, actually."

"Ya, the college did better this time round."

Hm. Ok. She's interesting in that way, haha. I can really see the passion and zeal for the subject in her eyes when she teaches sometimes. That's what teaching is all about.

CSE Teacher:

"It has been a joy teaching you. You have been a pleasure to teach. I wish you all the best and I'm sure that you will go on to better things. :)"

This is one whom I have seen grow as a teacher. He was a greenhorn at first; now, I can actually learn a lot from him.

GP Teacher:

"Hey you truly do deserve your excellent grades in your subjects. And I delight in your flair for the English language. Best wishes!"

She has been very encouraging to me, and is always very positive. That is especially crucial during crunch time.

Maths Teacher:

"Hahaha you are welcome. :) Your grades are not bad. :)"

and later on

"Just in case you didn't know; you are a good student with good attitude. :)"

(more or less)

That totally moved me. Coming from a Maths teacher some more. Maybe I knew all along (haha), but to be affirmed by someone else, it is another thing altogether. I answered him by saying that I will try not to lose it.

Hm.

That's what opened up my eyes. Affirmation is a powerful thing.

.
The A levels may have come and gone. Some have won, others have lost. But what I have gained, I will never forget.

writing and Him

2009-03-05T00:43:00.005+08:00

Somehow I think every professional out there has got ugly handwriting. No wait, that doesn't quite cut it. Ugly handwriting is still tolerable if it can be deciphered. It's more of illegible handwriting that every doctor, lawyer, or consultant seems to have. So much so that it seems like, if you've got horrendous writing, you've made it big in the world. Or, every professional requires those scrawls to prove their mettle or capabilities as, professionals. Or something like that.

It's always like that. My grandma sometimes visits the nearby polyclinics to get medicines and pills, and when she gets back home and wants to administer, she can't. Because she can't understand whatever's written on the bottle or at the back of the box. She'll ask me whether I can tell her how many times a day to take the medicine, how many times a week, and for how long. And I'll have to tell her, I don't know, because the 3 looks like an 8 looks like a 5 or something. So she'll just follow a loose routine of popping them after every meal, three days a week, until they're all finished. So far she's alright. I guess that's working out then.

And now my boss. He sometimes passes me stuff I have to do, along with scrawls they call writing on the margins; I'm expected to understand them and carry those instructions out accordingly. I tell him I'm unable to decipher it, and I'm referred to his secretary because he's a busy man (which he is). His secretary deciphers half of the scrawls (it's more hieroglyphics, really), and then I'm left to my own devices. So sometimes during the office hours you can see me hopping from one desk to another, trying to get the colleagues to help out. It's a team effort, really. Each one of us apparently is able to recognise some of the words that other colleagues somehow just can't. Are we special, or what.

It will be Friday when we get our results back. I can't say I don't feel anything, but at the same time I think I feel quite alright nonetheless. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being all overconfident or anything, but I can rest easier knowing that God has got my back. I've got to trust in Him. He's all I got.

squeak squeak

2009-03-01T00:34:00.003+08:00

Ok so I went jogging again today (basically yesterday, in the afternoon), and this time I took the Changi Business Park route. It's really really ulu there it's great, unlike Max Pavilion and Expo carpark on Saturdays, where basically next to half of Singapore somehow ends up. Changi Business Park was really empty today because it wasn't a working day and all.

Then I saw a car. It was one of those Chinese brands, which model their cars after European makes and designs. Therefore it looked like a constipated Mercedes Benz. It was parked beside the path I was running on, and sooner or later I was going to be right beside it. Funny thing was, I noticed somebody inside. And the car was like rocking or something. I could even HEAR it rocking away. *Squeak squeak squeak* like some constipated car would naturally go. Then I got closer and guess what I saw.

GUESS LAH.

I saw two naked people. Behind some darkly tinted glass. But they were clearly naked. And they were very intimate with each other. (That's all I'm going to say.) But that's probably a gross understatement because as I realised, the car was still rocking away like some freaking cradle. It was so bad I tell you. And they didn't even notice that I ran right past them. Or they didn't choose to lah. But I guess that's better. And at least get curtains lah, or put newspaper or something. Evidently, they didn't count on joggers chancing upon them. I also saw other couples around the area, some walking around and taking pictures near the putrid and algae-clogged body of water they call an eco-lake. Apparently it's Valentine's Day in that area, I don't know.

On another note, I'm really satisfied with my job. Not that's it's easy or anything, but I learn so much from it. Oh ya, and office gossip is really something I tell you.

first day

2009-02-23T22:19:00.003+08:00

So today was my first day on the internship. The office isn't that big, and the people were unexpectedly quite warm. Of course there were grumpy faces (it's a Monday), but most of them were middle-aged women so they knew how to treat people well. Like making dessert from the rice cooker in the pantry and fussing over my broadband connection.

Surprisingly I got quite a lot of work on my first day! Not that I'm complaining; in fact I think it's good, at least they trust me to do the work, and it's good training as well. My boss asked me to vet some bank insurance policy contracts and format my comments into letter form. And I'm so relieved he was quite happy with what I did. Thank God! He had to do very little editing, and zoom, off they were sent.

And I already know I have work waiting for me tomorrow.

Now if only the food was good.

Eating escapades...!

2009-02-22T00:12:00.003+08:00

Ok so recently I met up with K after a long, long three months for dinner. Basically, the whole later half of last year I didn't really have the chance to sit down and have a loooong talk with her, so the dinner was to make up for that, I guess. Well, the busy lady kept me waiting for I think 20-25 minutes at the reception where she worked, because she had some last minute stuff to rush out, so I finished up two business magazines and now am a whole lot smarter about SMEs and renewables. And K looked very professional, impartial and just in her get-up; even I was fooled. We went to this restaurant/eatery that served savoury and sweet crepes, which was also the place the class gathering that I could not turn up for took place, and the food wasn't that bad at all, surprisingly! Changed my perception of crepes. Shared the tiramisu crepe dessert, which was crepey in an unexpected way. The meals weren't exactly value for money, but not bad either lah. At least rats didn't drop out of the ceiling.

OH WAIT OF COURSE NOT, because there wasn't any ceiling; we were surrounded by the rest of Basement 1. So much so I bumped into a cousin (yes, while sitting and eating in a restaurant) and she bumped into a primary school friend (yes, while sitting and eating in a restaurant). But, despite that, we talked. About legal liggles and school-life giggles, and my evidently non-existent lovelife (and hers as well, equally evidently non-existent...?).

Here comes a point where I realise, and soon after am confounded as to why, people keep on asking, "Ooh what's going on...?" or "What do you see in your future partner?" and things along that line. I mean, don't stop asking, it's actually fine by me to discuss these birds and bees that I have yet to chance upon (sad urban world I live in), and I don't mind, I think. In fact, I guess it's in a way oppositely interesting, to get a feel of what kind of a person who doesn't really have crushes, infatuations, objects of affection or any of the sort really is like, especially in the hormonally-charged circumstance of the teenage mindset. So for now, I guess, that is a mainstay conversation topic.

Then we went to get the MOTHER'S present, which was a piggy pencilcase. The next day, we celebrated HER birthday! And I'm so glad K and I didn't go for Japanese cuisine in the end, because the FAMILY went for Momoya ala-carte buffet! Stuffed myself so much. Waiter kept giving us more than we ordered but who cares, we ate it all in the end, hahaha. I think I still managed to order for more than its worth, and that gives me a fuzzeh feeling.

And then, I went to teach Indian migrant workers. I did a conversational thing with some of them today to encourage them to speak in proper sentences, because at the moment they do not. So you know, we were exchanging questions and replies. I then asked them what they intended to do in the future, what they had planned for. And then the same question got thrown right back into my face, and I got stumped for a second.

Then I remembered and said NS.

AND THEN AND THEN I was on my way back, and I bumped into an SC junior and we went back home together. But that's not the point. So we were on the bus. And I now understand why they have those signs about how it's illegal to harass/abuse/assault the bus captain or something.

AND THEN AND THEN go figure.

We are all skinny people

2009-02-16T00:54:00.004+08:00

Ok so went for dinner with SY and YX around six or seven hours ago, at NYNY (of all places right, but we're still subsisting on a teen's budget, so). And apparently I was late.

Well that doesn't matter because SY has YX to entertain/disturb him. Hahaha.

First impressions: It's not as if I don't know them or anything, but I hadn't seen YX in three months. I recently met up with SY, so he doesn't count. Though he's apparently been working out, but I can't really tell yet. Not to worry, it'll show in I think a few more weeks? Skinny people are like that lah. So anyway, YX all of a sudden looked quite mature, possibly because of the hair, and the contacts. I think that's good (it's about time), but she didn't behave very much differently compared to three months ago, hahaha. It's good. I guess.

A few things. We sat at this table, which was very awkward for three people. Basically, none of us faced each other. While that may be a good thing FOR ME, it made it difficult to converse and all. Though it was basically me and YX just yakking away. And pointing knives here and there to make our point. SY, most of the time, did a HB and stuffed himself silly with his food, and some of YX's and mine. Skinny people are like that lah. Ok basically I'm what people would call a slow eater and YX was struggling with her food, which in itself is a strange phenomenon.

Before that, when the food just came, I took the liberty of squeezing all manner of ketchup and chilli sauce on the perimeter of their plates. (I always do that now when there're bottles of those, and a proper plate.) And after that the waiter found it hard to clear our plates; I must be one of the more problematic diners one could come across.

Then after dinner we walked around aimlessly, while talking about random stuff and throwing random insults at each other. Actually we had an aim, of getting something cold and sweet. But after that our stomachs told us otherwise. Skinny people are like that lah.

OW MY BUTT

2009-02-12T16:45:00.003+08:00

So I went cycling with G yesterday from around 11.30 am onwards. TILL LIKE AROUND 6PM. We basically cycled A LOT, and considering I hadn't even touched any kind of bike since I think one and a half to two years ago, I think I did pretty well for myself. Can you actually believe that G actually can average an actual 30 km/h on a bike?! Crazy, hahaha. I previously thought it was 13 km/h, so you know, I was like "Oh ok, that's actually alright to handle" but NO, it was 30 km/h because of my previously messed-up hearing. But obviously I cannot handle such supersonic speeds, so for the first part of our entire adventure we only averaged 15-17 km/h, but on the way back it was more of 20-23 km/h. G kept on saying "Feel the burn...". OH YES I FELT THE BURN. Hahaha.

But it was very enjoyable, because I got to see parts of the country I don't often see, or even at all. Parts of the country where they don't resemble Singapore as well. Or it's probably because I'm not that outdoorsy. But still. And then also because cycling wasn't that boring because we could talk about quite a lot during cycling. I totally empathise, when G pointed out the place of a horrendous fall. The ground looked like it could cause a lot of pain.

We stopped by McDonald's for lunch, and later on at Changi Village for bandung. Come to think of it, those were awful choices for F&B when you are cycling, but that's done. When we were cycling back, on the home stretch, within reach of G's house, it rained. No, it POURED. And we were caught in it. So I had to bathe at the house and all. Then we played Wii after dinner, where I played a game that makes you go "What?!", and where I sadly lost at tennis for two games after I first Grand Slammed G.

But now my butt feels Grand Slammed. All because of the tiny bike seat that only supported like, what, one-third of it?! (G's seat got cushion sommore leh.) My poor butt, and sunburnt arms.

Awww

2009-02-08T20:40:00.003+08:00

The SISTER just gave me an angpow with a five-dollar note and some chocolates inside. So nice right. If you are human, say "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww".

Maybe she's already thinking of marriage (?!). Hahaha.

Ratatouille

2009-02-05T00:35:00.006+08:00

So finally I met SY today (actually, make that yesterday, considering the ungodly hour I'm typing this at). We went over to T3 (my idea, again) to have lunch. If it isn't obvious enough, I love food and every appointment I have with people MUST revolve around food. I cannot live without food, and I don't know why skinny people must diet. But I tell you, having a rat (even though it's a baby one and SY thinks it's cute, I have no idea on earth why) drop down on the table beside you, WHILE EATING, is freaky. I mean, I'm sure plenty of people have had such unpleasant encounters before, and it's definitely not impossible or anything. But when it happens to me, it feels surreal... and later on my legs felt itchy. This is all because of the slow service staff.

"Ahem, I think there seems to be a rat under that table over there, on the chair." *Points to said piece of furniture* SY just looks on nonchalantly, and apparently develops feelings for the rat.

Waitress looks befuddled just for a second. *Eyes follow my irritated finger* Her face unleashes an expression of constrained horror (so as not to further freak me out). And then she continues looking befuddled, and surreptitiously whispers to fellow waitress.

They go behind the counter, and then another waitress comes out with a wipecloth to clear up the sawdust mess on the table that the rat had conveniently left after dropping down from the ceiling (which was tastefully done by the way). But.

The rat was gone. WHAT. Come out with wipecloth catch what.

Restaurant manager comes out and offers to change our seats. All this time SY and I acted as if nothing happened; it's not nice to spoil other customers' appetites. SY said actually it wasn't the restaurant's fault, but I said (and rightly so) that the customer is eating in the restaurant, and if there is any inconvenience caused to the customer's dining, the restaurant must first claim that responsibility, and then after that shift the blame elsewhere. That is then truly the pinnacle of good customer service. Anyhow I don't blame them; if anything it's T3 I'm sure.

So we continued eating. Our appetites fortunately didn't become victims. But we didn't know where the rat had gone to. Everyone knows that if there is a bee in the room, it is better to see it than not, because even though that would freak you out, not knowing would freak you out more. Likewise in my case.

Then SY spied the rat. Running in the MIDDLE of the restaurant. WHAT. WHAT.

A waitress rushed out with broom and dustpan in hand. Couldn't catch it. SY told me not to move my feet. I freaked. Manager took over. He caught it, but not before it toured the entire restaurant. But I think all the customers deserved commendations for not raising their voices or complaining to the restaurant staff about the supposed lack of hygiene, even though they didn't know where the rat came from. Everyone basically continued eating. An SIA stewardess even spied the rat but merely looked amused, according to SY. I think she and SY share the same brain.

But I still felt itchy.

Anyway we talked, ate (Thai food, I'll never think about it the same way anymore), talked some more, and ate some more (muddy don't-know-what pie and lovely shortbread biscuits). This is basically what I do when I meet people. But the fun is in the talking. I found out things about SY (hahaha) that are so out of character for him. Like how he actually ******** **** *** ******* and even ******* *** ** *** ****. Wah so unexpected.

Thank goodness I don't have tastefully done ceilings at home.

jogging!

2009-02-02T23:00:00.003+08:00

Nowadays I exercise. I go jogging around the neighbourhood, following the road, all the way up to Expo, maybe go a few rounds around the Max Pavilion when it's empty except for this security guard whom I now am acquainted with by sight and through silent nods of greeting, and then around the Changi Business Park for a little while, and maybe circuiting the Expo carpark a few times. I used to run all the way to the Newater plant and back, but figured that change is good.

I'm not supposed to be like that. I'm supposed to be sedentary, and I'm supposed to be the kind that does not voluntarily exercise. But I guess things are different now, especially with enlistment looming, as well as the need to get off my butt. And it's refreshing, getting to enjoy the little things you never quite notice when you are in the car, on a familiar road, back to home. I've realised that where I live is actually quite ulu in Singaporean terms; there are huge plots of empty land waiting to be developed, but until they are, they are good jogging trails, because of the road network there that as yet, does not serve any building. Sometimes I do see those big white birds standing in the field (I thought those were herons, they look like them, but I doubt so), and even wild dogs further off. I usually run for about an hour, from five-plus to six-plus or seven, managing to see the sun set.

I guess things really are different now, where I'm in this limbo, where I don't really have to do much, and have the luxury of time, to do things I've never really seen the point in doing last year because of the opportunity cost. Taking things slow is a lot more fun than I imagined. The education system here really does something to you, but I choose to see it another way - it allows us to appreciate the little things more.

double-duty

2009-02-01T21:22:00.003+08:00

That's my favourite word of the week! Haha I have an affinity with alliterations. Lookie that.

The Lunar New Year has been pleasantly uneventful thus far, and surprisingly, not that it matters plenty, but hongbao takings have not dwindled but have actually increased. That is pleasantly surprising, considering the recession.

I've spent some time with the Indian migrant workers so far, and it has been very amusing and interesting. Apparently, in the Tamil language, there is no such word that connotes 'is'. So this reflects a difficulty for them in grasping the English syntax. During student demonstrations, they always end up saying things in front of the class like, "My name... Bala" or "This... a book", even after repeated corrections and all. I brought over some English picture books last week that were associated with certain parables, and they were all very interested in it; just goes to show how hungry they are to learn.

And to walk to the place where we teach them, you have to walk an entire lorong, complete with seedy atmosphere and all. Pimps cat-whistle, and sex workers mingle and patiently wait for their catch outside an imposing Hotel 81.

All in a day's work I guess.

overdue

2009-01-23T16:00:00.004+08:00

Ok so I met up with G on Jan 20 for dinner, was really an overdue one; we hadn't seen each other since the last day of school. Because both of us are such nice people (and very indecisive too), we had a hard time choosing where to go for dinner. But in the end, we went to this Japanese food outlet, which is a household name in Singapore, but with my bias and all, I've only patronised it I think once (or not at all) before. Yes, it is the dreaded ***** ***** outlet.

Flashback/Context/Memories that should not be dug up:
Annoying neighbours who think other people cannot own both a condo unit and landed property except them.
Crowded roads in the housing estate because of their inconsiderate party-goers.

But anyway, review: Not fantastic at all. Fish not fresh enough. The table smells like it was not cleaned properly. Green tea not green enough. Soup too salty. Tempura not tempura enough. I think that's bad enough. Hahaha.

We had a good time though, just talking and catching up, and later on bought ice-cream and strolled around Tampines, and continued talking. Long time since I had ice cream, by the way.

We probably will meet up some more, lest it becomes overdue again.

eye-opener

2009-01-14T00:26:00.002+08:00

Okay the mundane thing first: shopping.

Initially I thought my parents wanted to do CNY shopping i.e. getting all the goodies and stuff, like candy, confectionery and other crunchy, chewy, crumbly things. But no, Expo sales come first. Especially if it's the second last day and it's so close to our place (yet we don't exploit that enough). So we shopped instead for New Year clothing and all. Come to think of it, it was the first time I remember I did serious clothes shopping for the New Year. Hm. That is either a good thought, or a really bad one.

Anyhow, I'm amazed at what an amazing shopper I am! HAHAHA. I'm so serious, really. I immediately (and accurately) zoomed in on all the best deals, the deals that boasted at least more than 50% off their price tags. Okay, I know I'm el cheapo and all, but I'd rather blow a lot on food than on clothing. My tastebuds deserve the best.

And I was a prolific shopper compared to the FATHER and even the MOTHER. Just goes to show how little we shop. I think I scored around, hm, ten or eleven items within one and a half hours for both the BROTHER and myself. A big apology to the salespeople there though; I left big messes of clothing in my wake as I flitted around (who asked them to put the S's and M's at the bottom of the pile?!).

Okay, on to the more exciting bit of my day - the eye-opening bit, in a good way of course.

So the MOTHER knows a few friends committed in the area of community service, and we were invited to attend an orientation of the place around HS. HS is basically an organisation first initiated by a few doctors to cater to the local migrant worker community, and has now expanded to include quite a few charitable and commendable services, such as medical consultations, counselling, English lessons, and walk-abouts around the area i.e. Geylang, all to further extend His kingdom. I know some Singaporeans may be thinking "Geylang?! All the sex workers hanging around there; what a seedy place to be in!" and all. But hey, from what I saw tonight, there is a need there, and some people need to fill that need. Besides, the food is good and cheap there.

So okay, one part of the programme entailed a walk-about, where I was in the group that was to visit a dormitory housing Indian migrants. We walked through plenty of backlanes to get there, and obviously chanced upon many a sex worker, and other foreign workers just lazing there, either engaging in conversation or having their supper. But we were turned away when we reached; they were 'busy'. Fortunately, we managed to enter another dormitory in a shophouse. In it, there was a room that supposedly housed ten of them, with a rent that was quite reasonable, compared to more exorbitant rents that are said to exist for other migrant workers, even up to $200 a month just for a bed and a toilet shared by seventeen others. This is compounded by often unhygienic conditions (you'll never imagine the extent of it until you see it) and danger lurking everywhere, from unreasonable/abusive employers/pimps to thieving/violent co-workers.

And it was surprising that they were so eager for us to pray for them! One of them wanted us to pray for his niece that had undergone open heart surgery that very day. And out of the seven or so of us in the room, he asked ME to pray, bypassing even the person-in-charge that guided us around the area. Of course I gladly obliged. (:

Later on as we left, I realised that this was what encapsulated "missions at our doorstep", a phrase sometimes overly used (I feel) by some churches. There are so many opportunities for many Christians and non-Christians alike to serve the community in this area; many of the foreign workers here are in so much need for a friendly face among the community, and in just that hour and a half, I noticed the dire void between the citizenry and these foreign workers. It really explains, unfortunately, the Serangoon Gardens incident.

But the world will be a better place.

Evaluation

2009-01-12T00:05:00.006+08:00

Perhaps this is a little late, but right now, I'm going to evaluate all the A level exam papers I took last year. Sure, it's already an issue one and a half months behind, but still, I recently thought about (in a sketchy, vague way) my performance, how I felt I did. Certainly, most of us (I think everyone, probably) would acknowledge the fact that we could have done better and all that, but I think, just for the sake of it, as well as to bring some sort of closure, it would do me well to go over the motions and evaluate each and every paper. To those who may be reading this and who went through the same examination as I did last year, apologies, and if you want to, you may stop reading now. To those who don't care a bit about the last statement, do continue on.

Just a little note: while I may sound a little regretful later on, I still do know that I tried a good deal of my best in each paper, and whatever the outcome may be, I will be satisfied in that knowledge. And even if I do garner good results in papers I might appear not to be entirely happy with, please do not think that I'm being a little too modest or even that I'm overly critical of myself; the following evaluations are truly my honest perspectives on each paper. I say it as it is.

General Paper 1 (Essay): Okay, for this paper, I realised that the 12 questions set were unconventional, to say the least. Though there were familiar topics, there were also a few that were entirely foreign, in that we were never much exposed to these areas of content knowledge. On my part, I chose an essay question that I felt I had an edge in, in terms of content knowledge e.g. examples and all. But structure-wise, I felt that I could have done a better job on hindsight (but that's almost always the case for every GP essay I do). All in all, I felt it was a job well done, considering the circumstances i.e. question-wise. While it didn't examine me on my pet topics, neither did it confound me to no end.

General Paper 2 (Comprehension): It was a surprise as well, in terms of the passage that was given to us. While some may say that the content knowledge in this case would come easier to arts-inclined students like myself, I wouldn't agree entirely. The passage tested more on whether one could glean knowledge and understanding from the text, and not on whether one knew a lot about the content itself, except perhaps in the Application Question section. But even then, it was certainly do-able. I felt quite alright for this paper, and some of my peers would even say that I SHOULD feel more than alright; I acknowledge that my competency in this subject is much above average. But even then, anything can happen; it's up to God's will. (:

Mathematics Paper 1 (Pure Maths): Well, I'd thought that even with just the merely adequate grasp of the subject that I had, I'd be rather prepared for the paper. Unfortunately though, there were some questions in the paper that were, to me, overly centred on trigonometry, which under the A level syllabus here, rates only as assumed knowledge. Compared to the paper in the previous paper, the first of its kind in the revised syllabus, it had much less focus on trigonometry. Given that I'm in the IP, I'll admit that I'm a little less well-adjusted to trigonometric concepts than mainstream students are, because trigonometry, as a whole, is considered a very primary topic in the O levels, but much less so in the A levels. But that shall not be an excuse. Previously, I had only been practising other schools' preliminary examination papers as advised by my Maths teacher, but the A level paper turned out to be rather different from those. So, as you can guess, I got pretty much a rude shock that day. I felt really dejected after that paper, and yes, I would say that I also cried over it, trying to overcome a tumult of emotions. But silly me, I know I shouldn't have, because it would also affect my mental strength. I also tried not to let this on to too many people as well, given that it would not be very nice of me to also affect them during that crucial period. But this really got me working extra hard for the next Maths paper, and also got me started on the ten-year-series (a little late, but better late than never) (which I don't specifically remember being reminded to do, only the prelim papers), in a bid to prepare me for the kind of questions that would come out in the next Maths paper. And so I worked hard, and really depended on God in that space of three days.

Mathematics Paper 2 (Pure Maths and Statistics): Well, I had set myself a pretty high aim for this paper, given that I was eager to make up for whatever I had lost in the last paper. And thank God, the paper was much more manageable this time. I managed to do all the questions if I remember correctly, but of course, in trying to guesstimate my score, I left room for the potential errors. This greatly boosted my morale at that time, along with encouragements from some friends. Just want to say that, here and now, whatever my Maths grade, I will be satisfied with it. I know that I did my best with whatever I had, and the rest will be up to Him.

Literature in English Paper 1 (Reading Literature): I went into the exam hall with a little mixed emotions, no doubt I had already entrusted it to God, because no one really knows what to expect from Lit papers. But I say that, on the whole, the three essay questions were manageable. Though, the question I chose to do for the Pride and Prejudice section was a little, hm, weird. Hard to say. Again, it was not the typical kind of question I would see in the papers set in school.

Economics Paper 2 (Essays): Okay, Econs has been an up-down-up-down subject in which I'm never quite certain of the grade. One moment I may get an A, another, a C or even a D. It perhaps reveals that even though I may be quite adept at the subject in certain areas, in others, my foundation may not be so strong after all. Anyway, all that I have to say is that for this paper, the questions set were rather tricky, and were phrased in a manner that was quite different from what I was used to. For the microeconomics question, I felt that that answer was the most unsatisfactory, relatively. I felt that I answered the second part perfunctorily, and that the first part was below par as I did not cover enough ground. For the two macroeconomics questions, I felt that one was answered well, because I believed enough content and analysis and even evaluation were portioned out. The other one I had at first thought to be entirely off-point, but later on, as in I think a few weeks later on, I chanced upon the notes for that topic, and realised I had actually answered quite satisfactorily. Well, it depends. For this paper I can never be sure of my grade. Again, and I don't care if it sounds repetitive, it has been given up unto God. (:

China Studies in English Paper 1 (Case Study): After the paper I felt quite confident. Surprisingly, during practice in class, we also did some practice on the exact same topic of the case study that was examined. But later on, our CSE teacher mentioned that a certain question was rather tricky as it required us to identify as well that 2002 was the year in which power was transferred from Jiang Zemin to Hu Jintao, which I didn't quite identify (and I think the rest of the class), so that was a little bummer-ish. But all in all, I still felt alright.

Economics Paper 1 (Case Studies): Time wasn't quite on my side here, as I would have liked to finish up the last question of the second case study in a more full and polished manner. Anyhow, I felt that I actually understood most of the questions this time round (sometimes in school exams I never really quite answered to the point), and managed to provide pointed answers. So that was good. Other than that, the content material was quite understandable as well.

China Studies in English Paper 2 (Essays): The content knowledge that was required for the six essay questions was familiar to me, but again, the phrasing of certain questions left quite a lot of doubt due to the ambiguity generated. Nonetheless, I chose only the questions that I felt I was more capable in. The compulsory question was the most challenging for me, because it required analysis based on social and economic factors, and I wasn't sure whether to analyse them separately or in tandem, so I did both. The essay structure which I adopted for I think all of the questions was also slightly different. Instead of the factor-aligned structure which had been stressed upon the most during class, I opted for a more analytical approach, trying to inject more depth as and when I could, instead of only at the conclusion. It felt a little experimental, but I also felt more secure in doing that, especially since its the subject's first major appearance in the local A level syllabus.

Literature in English Paper 4 (Imagining Other Worlds): There was a rather lengthy break between this final paper and the previous one, but I tried to put the time to good use to study and just gear up for the final leg in this race. The questions were understandable, but I felt that my answer to the Practical Criticism component was a little too simple, though very understandable. I felt that the other two essays were more well-done, in that I actually put in more of what I learnt into them.

Okay, so there it is, my humble evaluation of the papers. Whatever the results, to God be the glory. (:

pseudo-EMO

2009-01-10T22:58:00.004+08:00

It's funny how I miss school a little, missing the activity and the bustle of it, and maybe it's also because I don't get to see schoolmates as often now. Yet I wouldn't want to go back to school in a different capacity, say as a senior or even as a teacher; it just isn't quite the same. Maybe it's because it had been a full four years there, so bonds and relationships forged there perhaps run a little deeper, and memories linger longer.

I felt the same way leaving two years of secondary school behind. While maybe I didn't quite like the curriculum and those who imparted it then, I did have quite a few friends that, on hindsight, I found quite hard to leave without feeling even a little tinge of sadness. I still keep in touch with some of them, but as it is always, it isn't quite the same.

But this time, I believe these same emotions would definitely be stronger (even though I believe most of my friends think me almost emotionless). The end of 2008 signalled a closure to many things I had been previously familiar with, education and all. Perhaps the advancement to something more foreign and the reluctant venture out of my comfort zone leaves me a little helpless, and honestly it is quite distressing.

But leaving so much behind and all the what-could-have-been feelings... sigh.

things that go on at a typical barbecue

2009-01-05T19:24:00.003+08:00

Prawns that are half-cooked but taste just as nice.
Chicken wings that are half-cooked but taste just as nice.
The SISTER being the proud cook of the aforementioned items, toiling over the open fire with surprising enthusiasm. The marathon chef, as she is called - even the UNCLE had less endurance.
A debate over whether the sugar in the marinade caused the carbon build-up on the wings - a debate that never fails to arise during bbqs, whether with the MOTHER'S side or not.
The clever innovation that was our very own marshmallow roasters - sticks that stick out of the grill at such beautiful angles to roast them mallows nicely, which produce wonderful saggy and rippling curves of brown, freckled crust and soft, woozy filling.
The downing of red wine which awakens allergic reactions in me - though I don't actually mind; I don't fancy alcohol.
A gathering of the family and all its nice, warm, fuzzy feelings - even if we do turn to what's on TV later on.

new year

2009-01-01T18:58:00.002+08:00

So it's the new year.

Spent the time up to countdown (and about 4 hours thereafter!) with some of my cell group friends, over games and a potluck supper, just talking, eating and card playing, enjoying their company. Hopefully, for this new year, we'll be able to 'grow up well', so to speak.

So I woke up at around 2 plus in the afternoon. For lunch, the MOTHER invited over some of her friends for an authentically Peranakan new year lunch. She even dressed up in a pink-dominated sarong kebaya, and modelled a hair bun, to top the look off. Most of our family has been bitten by the Little Nyonya bug, so I guess that's why. The food was really good, with the whatever-whatever udang being the best.

Then I played with the RABBIT (it's in caps because it's now part of the family). It was a Christmas gift from one of the MOTHER'S friends, for the SISTER. But I play with it a lot.

Ok so the SISTER named it Lovely. What a lovely name.
But I call it Ah Nia, haha. And somehow it stuck. So it's now Ah Nia (which sort of means 'lady' or 'woman' or something, the term itself connoting some form of respect or reverence, I think).

So now it's as if the rabbit is some revered demi-god. But no it's not. Ah Nia is basically brown all over, with a grey tinge on its underbelly and feet. Its ears have a black outline, or as I like to know it, thick earshadow. It has a big brown patch that covers its nose and the part above it, so it looks as if its nose is two times too big for it. Best part of all, it's really not so smart, and looks like a beaver (sort of) if you cover its ears with your hand. And it's really a bit of a glutton.

So as some people call it, it is cute.

But I prefer to think of it as Lovely.

Just like I hope the new year will be. Thank God.

MADOFF

2008-12-31T00:35:00.002+08:00

How interesting is that guy's surname you tell me?

Anyhow, I believe just about the whole of the developed world is privy to the financial scandal that acknowledges its creator in Bernard Madoff, borne out of, for some, greed, for others stupidity, and yet for others, both. Then again, we can't blame them squarely. Read a report about how exactly Madoff managed to flummox many in the industry - through his stellar track record, his philanthropic work, and most importantly, the high level of trustworthiness and morality within the Jewish community.

Speaking of which, the report also mentioned that reactions from the Jewish community have ranged from anger to disappointment, with notable reference to how the entire scandal seems to confirm and champion the stereotype of the thieving Jewish banker. The stereotype has long existed and even influenced many historical events. After all, it is this stereotype that lent itself very well to the radicalisation of the Adolf's very own anti-Semitic world view.

How sad isn't it, when the misdeeds of black sheep, while few and far in between, almost always have a lasting and indelible impact on their compatriots and associates. The trust and rapport built between the Jewish and other American communities will never be the same again, plagued by the shadows of this scandal even far into the future, especially with the magnitude and scale of it.

But I hope this doesn't go down the path from which the entire country of Germany took, when it beat up itself for the atrocities Adolf orchestrated like the Holocaust, where its national pride was wounded for decades and only recently, has it taken a turn for the better. The Jewish community hopefully will know better.

Sad lah

2008-12-29T23:17:00.003+08:00

Just came back from an SC gathering at YT's place. It was reasonably well-attended this time round, with I think around 18 people there. Had to wear the FATHER'S shirt because I didn't have any more red shirts to wear. As usual, it was a few sizes too big, but alright. But a few people didn't come attired in line with the red/green theme, so that was sad. It's JUST red and green, how hard can it be?! Bish to all those who didn't follow the theme.

Basically just ate pizza there and self-composed ice-cream floats i.e. like how a piggy would. Talked to quite a few of them about NS and holiday jobs, not much about studies anymore! Played Risk (yes again), but this time I lost so badly! Ok, so C was completely wiped out first, but then A and V took turns to slowly eradicate me on that (cursed!) board till I was (sadly) no more. HM tried to 'protect' me, but to no avail. First time ever lost so badly I tell you! Happened to such a risk-averse person some more!

Ok maybe that's why I lost.

Some more I was the person there who knew how to play Risk quite well. SAD LAH.

After that I just went around looking at other people playing other games, like mahjong and the real kind of poker, where you lose money. Sad there wasn't anyone playing Bridge; that would have been nice.

After the whole thing ended, I went up with YT and R to go collect money from ZT, who still owed me cab money from prom. Can you believe it, we went around at least three apartments before chancing correctly upon his? YT only knew what floor he lived on, so we basically tried all the doors with a cross on them and track shoes outside, since he was Christian and rather active, haha. In the process, we dropped strawberries and all. Thank goodness he wasn't (really) asleep when we found his apartment. So yay I got my $6.40 back.

Then after making a trip to YT's house and getting a Cambodian souvenir out of it, R and I trooped to the bus stop where he (surprisingly) turned serious and offered relationship advice (of which I have no use for, yet) from his own experiences. A different side of him that I have now only come to know, I would say.

Haha ok, had a good time, though the last-minute arranged Bridge session at HM's never quite materialised. Sad lah. (:

why like that

2008-12-26T22:38:00.005+08:00

It's Boxing Day! The day after Christmas! Of which is in the period where I eat a lot and you know what happens next!

I just heard this (or something to that effect) on the news: "There has been a decline in visitor arrivals this year, down from last year's phenomenal tourist numbers. This has been attributed to the current economic downturn, which is taking its toll on many countries around the world."

WHAT. Did I hear that correctly?

"There has been a decline in visitor arrivals this year, down from last year's phenomenal tourist numbers. This has been attributed to the current economic downturn, which is taking its toll on many countries around the world."

I'M SORRY?

"There has been a decline in visitor arrivals this year, down from last year's phenomenal tourist numbers. This has been attributed to the current economic downturn, which is taking its toll on many countries around the world."

WHY? Why must everything be 'attributed' to the recessionary period?

Smaller turnouts at business expositions. Orh, it's because of the economic downturn.

Smaller donation takings for charities. Yah lah, it's the recession.

Less retail earnings. Of course it's because people have to tighten purse strings what. Then what?

More pets left at animal shelters. Oh, they couldn't afford to continue taking care of them. To expensive to upkeep.

Then what?

Ok. Maybe there's some truth to all of this.
Yes, because of the economic downturn, many have been retrenched, many more have taken pay cuts, and therefore, there is less money to holiday overseas, to donate, to spend on Christmas presents, and to even feed Spot. Business expos die because they are boring.

Ok, it's probably because businesses are busy cutting back on expenditure and therefore don't see the need to even try to get more business which will most definitely require more capital outlay.

BUT. It's not ONLY because of the downturn that has caused such phenomena, RIGHT? Does anyone see my point? (Ok maybe not because I'm quibbling over such silly things. BUT.)

I mean, it seems almost as if the current downturn is a plain (and easy) excuse to be used for accounting for many things, which would otherwise reveal something that is not so nice.

Like how tourist arrivals may be dipping ALSO because of the declining image that our country portrays to the rest of the world? Not-so-effective tourism campaigns? They've all seen our country and have gotten bored? Maybe.

Or maybe that prices have instead gone up during the Christmas period, explaining why people opt for cheaper presents now, and therefore, less spending? Maybe it's also because sales just aren't what they used to be anymore, with measly discounts of what, 5%? Not even enough to cover GST.

Or how about this, plain, unyielding human nature. We are selfish, and so we just don't want to donate too much, and don't want to buy more dog food. Charities have lost the trust placed in them due to a few really lame individuals, and people think buying huskies for HDB dwellers as Christmas presents makes absolute sense, especially when they (the dogs lah) look so small and cute when first bought (later on: how EVER did they grow so big and noisy?!).

And business expos are boring lah. Ok, that and because of the snowball effect, when some businesses (doesn't have to be alot, just the major players) decide to stay away from a particular expo (for whatever reason, maybe also because they're boring), more and more will find the expo less attractive as well, and you see my point. Yes you do.

So you see (yes you do), the "current economic downturn" should not be used as the excuse-that-no-one-can-refute, because, very often, it's seen that way. Instead, while it should be taken into account, we must also look at ways to resolve whatever problem that materialises.

How about raising service standards to boost tourist arrivals, instead of hoping for the best 5 years on when there will be a probable economic boom? Or how about better pet ownership regulation and licensing so that Spot wouldn't be in a spot?

Then we'll find out, that, after all, it isn't so much an economic downturn. (:

lovely show

2008-12-24T04:24:00.002+08:00

Ok, don't know why but I'm kind of stuck on this show that is apparently meant for 6 to 11 year-olds. It's Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend of Aang, but both are essentially the same. It's this cartoon that is a cross between the anime genre and the American kind of Saturday morning cartoons. But it's got me hooked, partly because it features Asian elements especially in the 'bending' powers of the kid characters. Ok, so I'm a bit slow and the show actually started the year before last i.e. 2006. Sounds really ancient, but what to do, I focused on my studies then (I still do, hopefully). The comic timing really is quite well-done, and I like it mainly because nothing is pretentious; it's the kind of show that makes you feel really at home with it, where the character development is so fantastic that you feel like you've known them for a long time, and the message from each episode (yes, there's meaning to it) is so relevant to you that you feel that the producers know what they're talking about. And because it's animated. (:

And yes it's Christmas Eve!

the langkawi adventure!

2008-12-22T00:33:00.003+08:00

HAHA. That's seriously an understatement. Though, for the life of me, I don't know why I found it rather enjoyable though something regrettable took place.

Ok, so we arrived there at around, hmm, I think 8pm. Had dinner at this Italian bistro in the hotel which served surprisingly good pizza. So that was nice. And the hotel as well! It was really decked out in the nicest and most expensive-LOOKING marble I've seen so far. I've always had a soft spot for luxurious but NOT gaudy interiors. Except the exterior of the hotel looked like it was transported from the gaudy '80s. So that wasn't too good.

Anyhow, the next day we basically just lounged around in the hotel. Ok no, it's more of a resort actually, by the oh-so-fantastic beach which means that isn't like one of those places that looks exactly like downtown Singapore and I was glad for that. Took a swim in the pool and trooped off to the steam room after that to open up some pores! Felt really refreshed after that, and really clean. I've always liked to be clean. Dinner later on was at some famous seafood restaurant which lived up to its name, but the flies there were not to be trifled with.

On the third day, we tried to go for a cable-car ride, but was denied it because of the strong winds. Later on, we went to this waterfall, but had a really bad experience there. Two bags were stolen! And as I type this I am reminded of the sorrow and regret, of just turning our heads away for only around two minutes as we enjoyed the cool waters (it really was a nice place to take a dip), and of the huge amount of valuables that were lost. I wouldn't type it down here, but it really is a big deal. Seriously. Perhaps some may say to get over it and move on, but it's really a huge event for me because it is the first time that such theft has happened to me/my family, and to turn up empty-handed after a rather fruitless search for the culprits, it really is saddening and heart-wrenching, to say the least. It spoilt the holiday for me, at least a little. I couldn't sleep well that night, and kept committing the incident to God. Hopefully, at the very least, I hope whatever was stolen was put to good use, in that it was used to help a desperate father whose wife was swollen with pregnancy and the loot used to raise the child in future, or that it came in handy for perhaps a family with too many mouths to feed. And not to sustain some drug addict or perpetuate a criminal syndicate of whatever sort. That would be bad. And I would be sad. We made a police report later on, and the officers were really nice and all. I had thought that Malaysian police were not really dependable or reliable, since there are many corrupt officers and all, especially the traffic police during the peak periods. Anyhow, these officers were really patient, and even sent down plainclothes policemen to try to nab the culprits (that's what they said though). At least they were nice, and didn't brush us off. During the trip, many of the locals we came across (and who got to know our story) suggested it was monkeys who took our valuables. But it was really obvious it wasn't those animals (though they do have itchy hands), because there was no noise and no mess made of all our other belongings. Monkeys wouldn't leave behind our food and towels and make off with our valuables. Ok, moving on.

The next day, we went for a mangrove tour. I noticed that my parents didn't look too affected by the theft, so that was good. I had thought they would have been brooding a lot over it, since they were the main 'losers' from the theft (personally, I only lost my bag and my pair of goggles). Anyhow, the mangrove tour was enjoyable! (:(:(: (I'll try to smile more. (: ) We went eagle feeding, touring bat caves, looking for monitor lizards, crabs, snakes, monkeys, kingfishers, mudskippers, various kinds of fish, and finding them. Sad that we didn't see any crocodiles. It was nice to be back with nature, but kind of sticky as well. If I remember correctly, we went to this expensive al fresco restaurant for dinner, where only tourists go and locals stay away. The food wasn't too bad though, and I suspect it was a Singaporean outfit, because of its arty design, alright service and exorbitant prices. Plus they had some Singaporean dishes. Sometimes I don't get my father though. While he strives to save money (I think I got my prudent genes from him), at other times he's quite willing to splurge. Not that there's anything wrong with that. (:

Ok, the next day we went fishing! Not my favourite activity, but I was all for it since my father was so interested in it, and I thought that it was a good distraction from the previous unpleasant memories (if you don't know what I'm talking about I suggest you take reading lessons and a test for dyslexia). We chartered a boat and went around the different parts of the sea to fish! I didn't catch anything though. The SISTER caught one, my father caught three fish (one big fish, one small fish, and one small grouper) and a squid, while the BROTHER was the 'hero'; he caught seven fish (one big fish, two small groupers and other small fish). But I got sunburnt feet. We later gorged on our ocean harvest. Dinner was simple at an zichar restaurant in the town area; cheap and good. The deep fried 'pork limb' there gives the German pork knuckle a serious run for its money, I tell you.

And now we come to the last day! We basically just lounged around in the resort again. After sleeping in, I went to open up my pores with some steam again. Dinner at the Italian bistro again (couldn't get enough of the pizza!). And as I type this, I'm back in Singapore. (Duh, the Internet charges there are exorbitant - RM 5 for 15 minutes, like hello, what are they thinking!)

This brings me to my next point, about Malaysian service. Ok, not that I have anything against the service people there; some of them are really nice, like the lady waitress who was enthusiastic to suggest places for us to visit and kept on asking us whether we were happy with the food, the cab drivers there (who no doubt charged us high fares; Malaysian cabs are like that, especially those called by the hotel) who advised us on the best ways to spend our holiday and sympathised with our predicament, or the mangrove people who were so entertaining with their tidbits of mangrove knowledge. But certain people there seriously spoil the entire Malaysian image as a place welcoming for tourists. Like the guest relations manager who couldn't stand to see the darts drop to the ground even once, the sniffly van driver who insisted that we should pay more because we had 5 and not 4, or the salesgirl who somehow couldn't stand helping us pack our purchases into hand-carry friendly boxes and had to mistreat, no, abuse our goods. I especially don't fancy the ones who only fawn on the ang mohs and the Middle Easterners. Yes, they are tourists, but so are we! Just because we come from the ASEAN region (including the Thais and the Indonesians and other Singaporeans), does not mean we do not deserve equal service standards. We pay for the same services too! Ok, enough venting. But I guess service standards do not really seem to be up to par for many destinations around the world. Such is life.

Ah ok, I hope I seriously put the unpleasant experiences behind me (way behind) and remember only the good bits.

Japanese food again!

2008-12-16T00:42:00.002+08:00

Went for Japanese lunch with ZY today at some, what else, Japanese restaurant called Ministry of Food. The name sounds a little too pretentious though... like it is the authority on all things edible, when it only specialises in Japanese cuisine, haha. Well, it was one of the few times I opted to go non-raw, because usually, in such scenarios, I'd be off my top ordering all the raw fish I can get my hands on. The beef slices though were equally nice, and had this meaty (yes there's no other word to describe it) taste that if replicated in every other kind of meat, there wouldn't be any need for sashimi. But since it isn't, sashimi's still good. So anyway, the beef is supposed to be cooked in some pot of (delish!) soup over a flame, but some of the ash intermittently flew up and hurt our eyes; sigh, the sacrifices we make for good food.

On this note I would like to say that good food is perhaps one of the items that is worth paying exorbitant prices for.

Anyway the conversation soon (somehow) veered towards the corrupt nature of many political institutions and how we would deal with them when we grow up to be highflyers of note in our specific fields of work. But then I got distracted by the dessert that came. ZY tried some soft-serve ice-cream that seriously tastes quite good for its price even though McDonald's sells the same kind at a pittance and doesn't taste half as nice. Hokkaido milk really is better. But she didn't like the black sauce that she (herself) poured all over the rest of the dessert, and so, I got to eat it. I should seriously pack some of the black sauce wherever I go - lets me have free dessert and tastes like brown sugar (maybe it's really brown sugar and not black dates and prunes. The cheaters). My tri-colour dessert thing wasn't really tri-colour, but tasted alright anyway. Hokkaido red beans and potatoes don't really go well with rice cakes, in my opinion. But what can I say, they're the Ministry of Food. (:

Over-relaxation

2008-12-13T00:55:00.002+08:00

Went for another outing, this time with some SC members. First met up with HM and JZ, and came to know of the really, really miniscule turnout for it. Sadly (at first). Anyhow, we came to enjoy ourselves, and so, we must. Went to NYNY for lunch, and ordered brats with bacon and cheese. Very nice, and somehow, they were amused by how I laid out my ketchup all around the circumference of the plate. Ja came over then, as I was finishing my food, and later on, Jo came, decked in PE attire and all. It was quite amusing to see them react in surprise at the dismal turnout, yet expressing silent understanding of the situation. But I actually thought it was for the better; it's actually more effective bonding time with a smaller group of people (as always has been my belief), and actually more fun as well. We went over later to the games cafe, where we met V, and played Ugly Doll, Bang! (yes somehow it sounds wrong), and Quicksand. Ugly Doll was crazy, whereas Bang! was frustrating; I kept getting jailed or having no equipment to 'shoot' people. Ja and JZ left after that game, and somehow it was weirdly observed that they might be together. Oh well, that remains unclear; no speculating please. At first I thought Quicksand would be boring, but it turned out to be quite intriguing and fun, although I didn't win. We very nearly played Risk, but I was glad we didn't; didn't want another 'harrowing' episode of being ganged against. Later on the four of us went for dinner at some place whose name I forget, but they served nice hoagies and rosti for rather reasonable prices, after which we ended up watching Bolt, where I nearly cried when Mittens fell out with Bolt. Silly, I know. But Pixar/Disney (since it owns Pixar now) always has one of these scenes that tug at the heartstrings. Sigh, it was nice, the bonding and all. So you see, even with so little, we had so much fun. Turns out that in such cases, less is more. I rest my case. And don't anyone dare touch it.

Went for yet another outing (I don't know any other appropriate word for it) with HM (yes again (: ), RB and JY, this time to enjoy an ice-cream buffet. Alas, it only starts at 3pm and so, having met up at 12.30pm, we went over to Mos Burger for a while, ate some and talked some. At 3, we went over to Mingles (haha Mean Girls), the ice-cream buffet place. JY, HM and I wanted to sit on the soft, cushiony seats, but in the end the former two got to sit there while I settled for the less-than-ideal hard chairs with no back, more commonly known as stools (haha shit). Anyhow, I stole JY's seat after a while (and she stole HM's seat later, and HM stole my seat much later. But bottomline is, I got to sit on the cushiony seat. That's all that matters.). All in all, I ate, wait for it (..........), a whopping 27 scoops of ice-cream spanning 22 flavours (I didn't take Rainbow 'cause it was bubble-gum flavoured, and Mint-something 'cause it was powdery; I stole tastes from my friends')! Very worth the money, I know. New Zealand's Natural Premium yadda yadda some more! HM took a close 24 scoops, but JY and RB disappointed greatly, with just 7, and 4 and a half scoops only. I felt a little fat/full/bloated though, but that doesn't matter. Happens to me all the time. HM was so enamoured by the gourmet sausages they sold there as well, but all of us (including her) were rudely shocked by the $9.30 price tag that came along with each. So we decided (after an extended period of time) to buy the sausages from Cold Storage and cook them at JY's house ourselves. Clever, I know. As a treat from RB, we bought $16 plus worth of gourmet sausages, potatoes and canned soup. But seriously, cooking at JY's place was a real challenge in itself, even if we transformed into culinary experts adept in the art of producing exquisite cuisine i.e. chefs in Michelin-rated restaurants, definitely not the hotel kinds, though. Her kitchen was so devoid of cooking equipment/ingredients, the former is as good as non-existent. A bit exaggerated, but true. Nonetheless, being the quick-minded, resourceful and versatile individuals of excellent calibre we are, we managed, and whipped up really tasty sausages, and mash mixed with soup, and more soup, with some help from the World Wide Web spider. All the while watching The Little Nyonya and some last episode of the CSI-esque Hong Kong serial. Not bad for the group of us. HM and I agreed that it was, on hindsight, a good experience. Cooking seriously bonds people, and this is independent of any culinary skills whatsoever. After that, we taught JY how to play Bridge (quite successfully), and thereafter went our separate ways i.e. home. Again, less is more.

Though, I think I'm being over-relaxed. I guess that's the syndrome of the education system here. It primes us too well to handle heavy loads of work, and while that's appreciated, it somehow makes us a little too guilty for having a good time; at least for me it is so. Oh well, I think I'll get used to it pretty quickly. J (I have a lot of J friends...) recently sent me a Christmas card that promised another treat, and I have other appointments I want to keep as well with other friends. So here comes my 'over-relaxation' time of enjoyment. And with open arms, I receive you.

the Singaporean blogpost

2008-12-07T00:52:00.002+08:00

Hm, today I'll probably do a post about certain occasions or incidents that have happened so far. And in the Singaporean manner, these occasions shall share a similar thread: me.

It is slightly narcissistic, but since this is partly, in a sense, some sort of diary or log of things that concern, namely, me, I shall write about someone, i.e. me.

Ok, notwithstanding prom, things that follow consist of what I did after the A levels (largely):

Went for lunch with some schoolmates, i.e. HM, K, K, ZT, J, and another K. N was supposed to come but he (amazingly but not surprisingly) somehow lost his way and decided to go back home instead. Basically talked about anything under the sun, but somehow, some way or another, we still managed to talk about (what else.) studies! Even after the exams. We decided to do something remotely fun though. HM was dared by J to ask her junior out (of the same gender, so that was not so embarrassing), and the loser would eat some weird concoction of lettuce, vinaigrette, ketchup, beef sauce, salt, and pepper (a myriad of ingredients from our lunch). Well, J (expectedly) lost. Then we did another dare where all of us participated: whoever guessed correctly the colour of the dress that D wanted to wear to prom would have to consume the mixture. Well, I guessed hot pink (haha.) and other colours thrown were brown, purple and more. Well, one of the Ks guessed turquoise, and guess what, she was right! Lucky her. So K and J ate the thing together, grimaced together, and later tried to bluff everyone into eating it as well by saying it tasted quite fine apparently. After lunch, one of the Ks (the latter K actually) went off, and the rest of us went to J's house to play Risk after failing to realise that Settler's at Katong actually moved. So we travelled for like one and a half hours before reaching the house. Clever, yes. But Risk was fun! Except that I was the main target to attack for many of them (don't know why...). But one of the two Ks won in the end, even though she was basically reading stuff (academic stuff some more!) most of the time apart from throwing dice and stuff. Well, it was fun.
Went for breakfast on one of the past few days with M and K. Well, we basically talked about a lot of things, ranging from baby killers in the US to my post-prom aftermath. It had been a long time since I ate breakfast out, so breakfast was good. After that, we went to Borders and a myriad of small shops, just looking around. Wanted to buy back some Japanese foodstuff, but was thwarted by the horridly humid weather we have here.
Ate plenty, plenty of nice salmon sashimi that I was denied during the A levels. Felt so good.
Joined a newly formed Bible study group. The first meeting went quite well actually; everyone felt quite at ease and contributed plenty to the discussion. For me, it was one of the most fruitful discussions in a long time. After that we had a barbecue for one of the members' birthday.

So those are about the more notable things I've sort of enjoyed post A's, among the family outings and more. Looking forward to more treats from certain friends who have promised them... (:

prom and what happened after that

2008-12-03T23:01:00.004+08:00

Haha prom. Seriously I thought it could have been worse, but it turned out alright. But just alright. Not fantastic or groundbreaking or anything. When the waiters and all did the short dance with all the fancy (faulty) lights, I nearly dry-vomited. No seriously, I hope that some part of my ticket price did not go to training them for that thing. Food was alright, but the entertainment, well, let's just say they tried their best. But everyone (well, almost everyone) looked really good that night, and it was fun taking pictures with people I knew (and people I didn't really know).

Post-prom started out slow I guess, and while I thought it really picked up at the end, to the serious clubbers, it never really did. Oh well, not really a clubbing type myself, I was just satisfied with whatever there was. Drank some, danced (read gelek-ed) some, and was called wild/crazy/cute by some. But I really thought no one could see me under the blinking lights (no really, they were blinking)! Anyhow, that would probably be the first and last time I step into a club of my own free will, unless I'm forced to, for work or some other nonsense, haha.

Oh well, I'd prefer my mundane life anyday, thank you. Much better I think. (:

Nearly one rational year on

2008-11-29T21:29:00.003+08:00

Probably no one really comes to this blog anymore, but that's not what a blog's for, I guess. Nearly one year on, and I've come back to it, after my A levels, after finishing yet another year at school. It's really been quite some time since I've written just for fun, in a narrative, descriptive style, unlike the pseudo-analytical, evaluative and expository writing I've been doing for the past year in school. And I'm not really used to doing so. But I guess I'll just try. That reveals a lot of what I've been so busy about, haha.

It's deceivingly easy, yet, you find yourself trying to express, let's see, what's that word, un-express-ible (?) feelings, emotions, things (the best word to fall back on yet), and find yourself falling flat on your face just expressing yourself, not writing or analysing. It's the simplest things that are the hardest, really.

In the past year, let's see, I don't think I've changed a lot myself, though some people have told me that I have. It's really not up to me to judge, but it's definitely up to me to decide. If there's been change, I do hope it has been for the better. But what's really defined as better or worse, in deciding a person's character or personality? From what I know, I think the change was for the better. If not a lot, at least a little. That's what I would hope for.

Haha, hope. That's how the President-elect, became, well, the President-elect. Funny thing, hope. It's often perceived to be so intangible, inexplicable, so unconnected with the rational, scientific, and economic thinking that has come to dominate our modern psyche today. Now the fad is to be on the thinking side of the fence. Yet, it is also the thing that so many of us hold dearly, close to our hearts, never to let it go, for there's always that little flicker of hope, of light at the end of the long, dark tunnel, that, while forgotten, apparently has the strength and power to save us whenever we falter a little too much. And it was cleverly played on in this time of turmoil that all of us have to struggle with, in whatever aspect of our life.

Whatever the case, I do place my trust in God and take my own leap of faith. Hope, for me, while fine and dandy, can never be as good as faith. Sticking by one's moral principles, especially in confusing and misleading situations, is as good as any other solution. Why wholly trust a compass when you can see the stars?

I'm irrational and illogical, so whack me.

funness

2007-12-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

China was really fun! Got to know so many of the CSE people much better. To think that we actually spent one entire year just sitting quietly in class, keeping to our own tables, never really mixing around. Went to the usual places in Beijing and Tianjin, like Tiananmen, Forbidden, Summer Palace, Great Wall, etc. But because it was educational (and gladly so), we visited Chinese industrial factories and got to know about their gargatuan growth in the last three decades thanks to the opening Chinese administration, the Urban Planning Museum which is just about one of the most contemporary and modern places in Beijing (yes Beijing, which already looks like, or even better than, Singapore in some places), and Singaporean organisations there like Raffles and Capitaland. Must say it was really interesting, and I took plenty of NICE pictures of which I will not upload.

But I fell sick for a few days after I came back from the trip, though I should after all thank God that I did not fall sick or feel unwell during the trip itself, as I usually do especially in cold climates. And in China, it was really cold, but not wintry. Sadly. Food was oily and salty, but I guess I ate around three times as much as I do in Singapore for each meal, partly because I was burning a lot of energy to keep warm, I think that's how it works. Tianjin was absolutely polluted, the air was horribly putrid. But Beijing's much cleaner, and thankfully breathable; we spent most part of the trip there. Must be because of the upcoming Beijing 2008.

To sidetrack, LYX is captain!!!!! *Popping of champagne* Another boost to our Cause. Heh.

Now coming back. Have been inspired by the trip to actually do stuff for the CSE IS.

Ok, so now the funness ends.

Oh yes, Christmas is coming!!! Somehow for me, the season gets less commercial and more meaningful as the years go by. Hopefully it does too for all of you out there! Because that's the way it should be.

the good and the bad

2007-11-16T23:28:00.000+08:00

The Good:

I got to meet really nice people during the internship. They have entirely changed my perspective (or misconception, really) of the people from that particular college. I hope I get to meet them again somehow. Only one week and I am that fond of them already, hahaha.
Internship was a generally good experience. Got to attend this convention that saw businesspeople descending on Singapore. Quite a refreshing trip really, though it makes me question whether I really want to join the corporate world when I grow up (it really isn't as smooth as they make it out to be).
There has been quite a lot of subsidy for the China trip, coming from many quarters: the college, MOE, my grandma. The wonders of Singapore. Get ready for it. YAYNESS.
The holidays so far have been quite alright, except that I'm not entirely keeping to my homework schedule. I guess now that since tuition is sort of missing from my holidays, I've become a lot more -gasp- lax in doing things. Well, what are the holidays for anyway.
Eyes are under control - contact lenses are helping.

The Bad:

Internship should have been longer!!
Leaving those dearies behind. (Grandma talk should be 'in' anytime now. Yuppp.)
Some people can be quite unhelpful and unnecessarily curt at times. Or maybe it's just me. (No, not me being quite unhelpful and unnecessarily curt at times, but how I may be seeing things wrong.)
Chinese food for ten days.
No contact lenses for ten days.

The Many Things

2007-11-07T01:21:00.000+08:00

YES I got the internship. God has been really good to me. To get it even though there was a trip clashing with the schedule - miraculous. Hopefully I can learn PLENTY from it, even if it is merely a week.

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A little less than half of 3E went to the zoo quite recently (my goodness, I can't remember when). I brought along the SISTER as well, since her exams were done and over with the day before. Haha, it really was quite a fun ride, we got to see plenty of things, even those that were unmentionable. What with the lion pride fighting and all, the blatant consensual (I believe) intercourse between red, plastic-buttocked Hamadryas baboons (reminds me of the various PDAs among humans), and all, in between, I believe, we had some good, clean fun.

Hahaha.

The SISTER sure enjoyed it. I guess J(u) would be the person she would remember the most, what with the girl carrying her around intermittently. She got to participate in one of the shows too. J(u) as well, haha.

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PW OP has just been finished. Which also marks the end of PW as a whole. I should be feeling all relieved and happy, but somehow, I just feel a little old, a little sad at the thought of putting the process of PW behind me. Truly, I faced it with as much as apprehension, cynicism, (derision even) as everyone else did, but at the end of it, I believe my group members B, K, and J did make PW a whole lot more tolerable, even fun, really. I really hope I will not forget the journey we toiled through as a group for PW (everyone in the group did shed a tear at least once), and the memorable experiences, like learning that putting cookies at the top of the oven shelf burns them really badly, learning to walk in sync with both the person in front and the cymbal-clanging, and even trying to "see-saw" on a plank and a cylinder (that was really fun). I hope that no one forgets all these; I myself have been changed somewhat (hopefully for the better) during this process, all of us have, indeed. I truly appreciate all their efforts - they've at least counted for something; we did well.

At the end of the road, when we look back, I would hope to see, and to realise, how we've actually made something not fun, fun.

And productive as well lah.

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My goodness, I really need to finish up the homework and study for the holidays. Work hard y'all!

Wow.

2007-10-01T23:51:00.000+08:00

Ha, really long ago since I last wrote here; nearly forgot my password even.

To anyone that reads this, you must be really patient: no post in four months, and yet still waited and managed to read this post. (:

End of the EOYs! I just realised I don't want to call it 'Promos', because it antagonises me.

Was reading about Facebook in the recent news. So much was said about it, from throwing sheep, virtual drinks, and poking to the many, many Americans it counts among its users.

I hope I get treats soon. (:

Social networking online just keeps getting better.

Must remember to do more Maths during the holidays.

But I'm having none of that, not yet anyway.

As well as read up about Econs.

Nothing much against it, just that I don't really believe that such applications do improve the quality of friendships, if the connections in the networks even qualify as friendships in the first place.

And choose a proper topic for CSE research paper.

Perhaps it is a good way of getting to know more people (which is good), but good things do create an addiction to them, so, no.

I really hope I get treats soon.

But then again, the veil of Internet anonymity has become less of a problem in Facebook, since users are connected to groups and such, so that will increase its usefulness in networking and cyber-safety, if there's such a term.

I hope the holidays won't be too busy, yet I hope it won't be too free.

But I think many Singaporeans use Friendster more so than Facebook or Myspace, is that true? Not too sure, though I think the Facebook trend will catch on here.

Am going for internship test tomorrow.

Imagine earning millions just for developing this online social network.

Hopefully it'll be smooth.

At such a young age some more.

Hopefully I can pass/ace it; cannot wait for it to start.

Wow.

Wow.

the post that comes in a long while

2007-05-11T23:26:00.001+08:00

It's been quite a long while since I last blogged. Well, much has happened. The official induction has not yet taken place, while post allocation is merely tomorrow, but even then, I feel as if I've been doing this for a long time, and I can only hope this means a smooth-sailing term, if not a near perfect one. I hope for a certain confidence that people will have in me, and what I will do, because it is definitely important that some form of mandate should be given to me to ensure a continuing momentum in how I plan and do things. And even if this support is not given to me, I pray that I will be able to push on, keeping an unwavering self-confidence, knowing that what I am doing, I am doing for the best.

Time seems to run by me faster, each week passing quicker than the last one. Am I learning enough, fast enough? It seems as if everything rushes by, and then, you realise, you're being left behind. But is that such a bad thing after all? I want the scenic route; there's too much to be missed, yet, I cannot help feeling that this gap between me and the rest, is widening, deepening. Notwithstanding this, time waits for no man, but will it make concessions, just for me? I just hope I'm not too late.

Many new things, experiences - some delightful, some hard to accept. Change is definitely in the air, but I don't hope to. Routine has to be discarded, but I can't bear to. For a certain time now though, I've been living in the future. The 5 is always written as 7, and July's now instead of May. Is the idea of translation in time subconscious for me, a sign that I accept the bird of time and the winds of change?

If it is, I don't realise it.

tributes

2007-03-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

Many thanks to HZY and CSLK for l0vely treats, LYX and PSY for wonderful gifts, and MLWR, SMBAH, LZHS, CLXE, JTZQ, MKSY, the people in front, and the family in Cairns for the b'day wishes. Even though not all may have remembered (and I don't expect them to), at least there are some who do make the additional effort to care. Though it's without the family, this birthday was very much enjoyable. I think I'll grow fat, but whatever, no one will notice anyway. Thanks to HZY and PSY for much-needed Math sessions. even though you people don't have much time to spare. Quite fortunate to have willing, helpful friends, I must say. Really don't know what I'd do for Math without them. This holiday has been productive because of you. I may not be the best of friends at times, but I dare say I try my utmost to be one, and appreciate everyone for who they are, regardless of any preconceived notions. Everyone deserves my best, and I shall try to be the good friend I hope you think I am. Tough, but yes I'll definitely try. It may not be very coherent, but I assure you it definitely holds a lot of meaning (no, not crap) for me, and I hope for you too as well.

Yours Sincerely.

old buses

2007-02-28T00:19:00.000+08:00

The buses are seriously getting old, breaking down on me. Now this can no longer be discounted as an excuse for getting to school late.

What happened to our infrastructural efficiency?

What happened to the reliability on our beloved public transport network?

What happened to those Daimler-Chrysler engines?!?!

song in the head

2007-02-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

Songs always do get stuck in my head, especially if it's from a movie soundtrack. Those are especially sticky, but yet have nice, catchy tunes (fuzzy feeling coming), though nauseatingly so. I have a few songs stuck in my head right now, but they're sort of mixing. So sometimes I hear something from Mulan (my sister's currently quite in love with it, and it's funny how everyone says Fa Mulan, and not Hua), and another from Prince of Egypt (don't know why it popped out). If you're wondering why both are cartoons, it's because animated movies are actually the only movies worth watching over and over again.

Why? It's because it's The Way, i.e, it just is.

Though, songs in my head don't annoy me or anything like that, because they're way clearer and therefore more enjoyable, than songs from an iPod. Something like an inbuilt player, really.

bygone

2007-02-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

Ah long time no post. Well, I've been on attachment for around five weeks now. Though it may seem a little monotonous at times, I'm nonetheless quite grateful for this attachment - quite a new experience, I must say. But on to more pressing things.

I (and the rest of Singapore who took the O's) got back THE results. Oh yes, THE results that will make or break you. Well, not exactly. And even more not so for me, since I only took the HCL test. Ah, it's quite a known fact that I'm not entirely great in the subject, so I was not too surprised I got the results I got (no, I'm not telling). But definitely thankful that I passed. But I must say I was quite surprised at the results others got. Some in pleasant surprise, some in utter shock, and some in milder disbelief. Oh well, everything's quite unpredictable (especially when it comes to things like these). I didn't expect everyone to congratulate me or console me or anything, but certain insensitive remarks were made that I felt were awfully derisive and contemptuous, and I felt quite hurt after hearing them, especially since it came from someone whom I thought would not say such things. But with all things like these, it's best not to dwell too much on them.

On another note, I am very, very grateful for my parents, who were very, very understanding about my grade (not telling). But I just hope that I would work harder and know that I have done my very best. leftbracketandcolon.

And can everyone else please start updating and stop deleting/moving their blogs... I want to read...

Ha. No more yellow frog.

2006-12-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

Changed the blog template today, quite obviously. How do y'all like it? Well, I do.

Orange and dark grey go perfectly well together, unlike those other black blogs which cause me to squint (you know who you are).

At least there's no more yellow frog staring right back at me in the face. I should think the previous image of the nicest tree ever was deleted from imageshack's server; how deeply distressing.

On another note, Christmas is over, and school's going to start. I can't get my preferred subject combination, and I know nothing about the attachment. Is this the calm before the storm, so they always quote from an unknown source, as usual?

"As the dark of this night set in, I humbled myself, for the time of reckoning is nigh."

It is still numb.

2006-12-12T13:07:00.000+08:00

The holiday was pleasantly uneventful, except on the plane trip back. Quite harrowing, that was.

So there I was, on the plane, sitting next to my sister. At one moment, I bent down to pick up her bag that was lying on the floor, just trying to pack some stuff in it. But when I sat back up, I felt this sharp pain course through my vein/artery/whatever somewhere in my forehead (I didn't even know I had a vein/artery/whatever there in the first place). It (the pain, not the vein/artery/whatever) was quite mild at first, but it progressively grew sharper, and I got a bit worried. Slowly, the pain travelled, and soon, the area around my right eye became painful as well. It was as if something was tugging at my eye from behind. By this time, I got very worried. All the worst-case scenarios flitted in my head: what if I go blind, what if I burst a vein/artery/whatever.

Well, it got worse.

The pain continued on to my teeth. The whole of my right jaw was now in pain, like all of the teeth on the right side were having major toothaches. So now, the entire right side of my face was in pain. The worst, most excruciating pain I'd ever felt.

If it weren't for my mother's company and God's comfort, I'd have gone mad with pain.

In fact, I was already half there.

Well, apparently the pain was due to the decompression of the plane, which I think means that the air pressure in the cabin changed a tad too quickly. Apparently, most of the passengers felt it, but I had it quite bad, because I wasn't feeling too well in the first place.

So, if you saw someone looking all dishevelled, holding the right side of his tear-stained face, at Changi Airport's transit lounge or departure area last night, chances are, that was me.

Well, that was near death enough for me; I seriously thought I was going to die, with a burst vein/artery/whatever or something. Till now, the teeth on the right side are still numb.

And now I can't remember anything about the trip, but this. Looks like I won't be flying anytime soon.

Ah, fulfillment.

2006-11-29T18:40:00.000+08:00

The holidays have been going along quite nicely for me so far. Tying up loose ends, doing more productive things, and finally having more time to myself. At the very least, I've been (I think) keeping to doing Math, trying to improve in the subject that haunts me nearly every time I've received my results. Doing DIY projects around the house and more reading, it's at least good to know that nothing much has changed about me, I think. If those criteria could be used to quantify who I am (eeks). Oh yes, and I'm quite intrigued about this game/thing I'm playing at the moment; Nationstates. Guess the dictator in me enjoys this, creating a country and all. Oh well. Take a look at my country, and see whether you might agree with the laws I've deviously passed.

A New York Times democracy can be so fulfilling as well, y'know.

OB

2006-11-22T02:26:00.000+08:00

Negativity be gone. I loved the OB experience in Lumut. Not only an appreciated refreshing change from Singapore's concrete landscape for me, but I guess I've sort of grown attached to that small little piece of Malaysian heaven. The whole experience was fun for me, and I had many a good laugh there. It felt weird to be back in Singapore after the camp, and I will miss OB (M). (Even though I didn't seem to be enjoying myself there 'cause I wasn't feeling too well). Won't forget the experience and the people involved in it as well for a long time; I hope we have another one, seriously.

Leech/mosquito/sandfly bites and bee stings be gone, OB's still nice and lovely for me.

Reflection, on the past 10 months

2006-10-28T17:38:00.000+08:00

Ah, it will soon rear its ugly (not) head. The exam that will determine what I'll be doing in the next two years. I've been rather placid about it lately, something that surprises the banana me (yes, I admit).

Perhaps because I know that I've prepared for it reasonably well, there being little more I could do. Or perhaps I'm just resigned to whatever outcome it will be.

I'm not too exactly content with my academic performance thus far, knowing that I could have done much better. Funny how it is a performance. Am I struggling too hard to reach my parents' expectations? No, there have been no expectations from them, except to do my best. Or are these my own expectations? These results, being the fruit of my anxiety? Oh well, someone has at least reminded me that grades do not determine who I am.

But as strange as it may seem, I appear to not do as well when I'm really trying hard. Perhaps, I need to trust God more, put my faith in Him, and cast all anxiety and care unto Him. Yes, New Year's resolution. Preconceptions of what I should be or be doing, out of the window, if you will. (Haha.)

Nonetheless, it's back to Math this holiday.

I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math. Yes.

It will be an OB trip soon, somewhere deep in the uninviting forests of Malaysia. Heard so many horror stories, but let me not get negative. I do hope to enjoy myself there, and I will NOT listen to the tongues (let me see who... ) that try to dissuade me from doing so. But ya, someone remind me to take the malaria pills.

And that would also signal (sort of) the end of another school year. Met a lot of nice and not-so-nice people, but I will miss each one, as I realise there will be some whom I may never get to see any longer, some whom I will see only once in a blue moon, some whom I may forget. Sadded. Maybe I should do some sort of documentation of each person on this blog.

Hoping to spend more time with my family this end of the year, especially my parents and siblings (Ok, that's basically my family). My parents have been supportive of me, even when I chose to undertake an Arts combination (even though MOE says it's a mixed combination, I still think it's Arts), and they've been caring. My brother, well, let's just say he's become more independent and assertive, which is not necessarily a bad thing, really.

Ah, and I'm reminded of family warmth, as my sister doodles on.

"What colour would you want your shirt to be?"
And I answer, "Red, like yours."

PS Her Engrish is that good, ok. Never mind. And red is nice.

It is done.

2006-10-11T18:42:00.000+08:00

It is over, and it is done. YES.

And thankfully so. I felt quite uptight over the examinations over the past week or so, and why?! I have not felt like that in any examination at all, and now this. What an achievement eh. And it's not even the o's. Makes me wonder what would happen to me should I take the o's.

Oh wait I am. At least for higher Chinese. But I'm definitely more confident in the subject now. Though I doubt those in the same Chinese class as I am would agree as confidently. Haha, this seems more of a reassessment of myself. Oh well, but I have plenty to thank God for. Call me a zealot or a nut if you will.

And yes, now more so than ever, I need Japanese food. I could eat a Japanese horse, if you will. But only if it lives in the sea.

And do tell me, what happened during the IMF-WB meeting? I only know quota reforms, and that's about it. If not, I think I'm going to write about something on Asia for the SS essay. Thankfully, it's due later on Monday.

I have many things to be thankful for, eh. (:

That will be the first and last time you'd see a smiley on a post. FYI.

*I just realised that the post is quite incoherent. Maybe I should consider point-form.

Who told me

2006-09-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

Who told me a bald tree doesn't look nice? It does.

Who told me the bald tree on my blog doesn't look nice? It definitely does.

Who told me I can't do Math for nuts? I can, for some questions. Peanuts sometimes do seem appealing. Especially $60, 000 ones.

Who told me raw salmon isn't nice? It is when it's fresh, that I am sure. Japanese food always is.

Who told me I mumble? ...

Who told me I do not switch on my mobile phone all the time? Actually that's true, it's only switched on some time, and rightly so. I don't have eternal battery on it.

Who told me I'm self-effacing? I'm just humble, and isn't self-effacing supposed to be good? It's relatively unique to Asia, and I'm doing it.

Who told me I'm stupid? Admittedly, everyone is, at some point in time.

Who told me yayness sounded wrong? Is there anything wrong with the exaggerated expression of joy? Certainly not. Yayness.

Who told me Singlish was bad? It isn't, but whatever campaign that's against it is. Ignorance IS defence. Heh.

Who told me I do not update my blog? I do, and this is one of them.

Everything since time immemorial.

2006-05-26T23:13:00.000+08:00

It has been a very, very long time since I've last posted. ZY finally persuaded me to post again through MSN (of all things). That, and the end of the school term, allowed for this rare occasion. And I'm posting about what happened. So mundane ya. I'm becoming boring. Oh well, let's start by listing a succession of events.

Mardi Gras Festival (school event, not the New Orleans kind): THE STALL. Oh my goodness, it totally stressed me out. Last-minute arrangements killed me. Though some people certainly helped out quite a bit, not many people helped in the behind-the-scenes work. Oh well, the chocolate was nice though. Didn't really take much effort in primping, but yes, the atmosphere created was suitable for the occasion, and I won the Bingo, surprisingly. Never won many games. Silent killer. Ha. In the end, I brought home about 17 leftover apples, which my family managed to finish up.

JGs: Though I didn't speak, I am still as proud of the team. The hard work was worth it. The blur computers were worth it. The cab fare was worth it. Putting up with sometimes weird but ultimately nice team members was worth it.

College Day: Was forced to go for it. Well ok, at least I had a pretty ok time there. Quite a number of awards were given out, though I realise that this may be a small number compared to other top JCs. Performances were fine and good, but I am surprised at how the event was so forgettable for me. I forgot that I had even attended it, until my father asked me where I had been that same afternoon. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just College Day.

Biopolis Visit: I was ok during the initial presentation, but the walking tour killed me. Because I was sick, and the air was particularly dry there (extremely efficient air-conditioning, I must say), I was coughing my way through it. There were also some comments about how the scientists looked like and all. I guess this is normal (hey, raging hormones), but I didn't do anything of the sort. Quite informative I must say, and bioinformatics (my IS) was quite a big help. At the end, W sprayed something on L, and well, let's just say everything went mad from there.

Sports Carnival: My toes died there. My contact lens threatened to shrivel. And I fell twice. Blame it on my shoes, the scorching (literally) sun, and my natural imbalance, respectively. Floorball was good, but I guess I was partly to blame for the loss at the finals. Didn't exactly do my job well. Plus I was so tired (it was a long time since I was that tired), I couldn't even hit the ball straight. Also missed hearing the MMMK dedication - talked too much.

Travels to Sumohouse: Haha, this is interesting. Japanese food (very reasonable and satisfactory as well), plus two wacky friends (sometimes three), makes for an enjoyable 1 and a half hour lunch (yes, that's how long it takes). Wasabi also makes for an interesting lunch activity.

Yay, no more half-dead blog. Though it might be retching from the content I put in it. Sigh.

it's alive!

2006-03-25T21:35:00.000+08:00

Just so you know, my blog isn't exactly dead yet. The previous post may have dated back to the month of January (I think) but look, here it is again, another post. It's up and well again. It just lapsed into a coma the other time. Don't ask me. Ask the schedule. But that doesn't mean that it wouldn't go into a deep sleep again. Believe me, my blog's addicted to sleeping pills.

This could probably be the last you see of me, or maybe not. Hey, looking half-dead is supposedly cool nowadays, anyway.

cny carnival.

2006-01-27T18:39:00.000+08:00

Messy.
Oily.
Sticky.

The CNY carnival.

Very messy.
Very oily.
Very sticky.

The CNY carnival. That is, if you get creamed.

Very messy hair.
Very oily hair.
Very sticky hair.

The CNY carnival. That is, if you get creamed. Right on the head.

"But never mind, it's all in good fun, isn't it? Isn't it? Wasn't it? No?"

"..."

what you do when you don't know what to write

2006-01-21T00:58:00.000+08:00

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write, like this:

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. Is it me, or

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. And everytime I don't know what to write, I write:

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. It's hard for me to come up with proper sentences, even, so much so I wonder,

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write, something like:

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. And in the end, I don't know why but

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. Sigh, I'm getting tired already, and I am pretty much an IT-illiterate, so

Is the novelty wearing off, or what?

What would it be like to learn all over again?

2006-01-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

There's this question I will always ask myself each time I come across a difficulty when studying or doing homework.

"What would it be like to learn all over again?"

No, seriously.

"What would it be like to learn all over again?"

Hmm.

I'd definitely study harder, work smarter, and try to do better.
But then, there are certain stages in my learning process I may never want to encounter again, like my agony in learning Math, which I once thought of as perpetual. Though, of course, I still do think of it as perpetual. Well.

Then I'd begin to compare all that to what I'm experiencing now, and find that for the most part of it, I'd be learning very much differently than what I'm doing now. And all the differences that were between the two would most likely to affect daily routine life as well, with much more time devoted to the desk rather than, well, the desk. Since the laptop's on the desk.

But then again, I wouldn't want to give up the learning experience that I went through these past few years. Sure, there were some I hated, some I disliked. And then there were those that I detested, which I loathed to the very core. And pretty much nothing else. Hm.

But anyway, the main thing is, I always thought at the end; the now. Not the past, neither the future. Well, maybe a little of the future, but mostly, focus on the present. For it has the most to give, since well, you know, presents. You know, those wrapped-up things with cute little ribbons on top, with a tag attached on which there's a name you do not recognise, reason being hardly anyone gives you presents. Which is hardly any wonder. Remember, 12/3. Write it down somewhere. Oh great, never have I been so fixated about "the present" until I encounter a Math difficulty. Just great.

Happy new year.

2006-01-01T02:24:00.000+08:00

It's the new year of 2006, and here I am, blogging.

It's funny the way how time flies, like the pheasant that was scared off by the gunshot of a hunter, like the Airbus that SIA has just procured among many others, like the threatening mosquito by the proverbial landing spot right around the ankle. It's funny the way how time flies, so much so that unknowing people like you and me, and just about everyone else in the world, misses it just as it passes, and fail to make good use of it by doing inane things, many of which I am all too familiar with. And all too soon, the year comes to an end, and with it, so do the things in it, except school. Of course, there are holidays, but, what did you expect? Of course there must be holidays.

It's also funny the way how we forget things that we've learnt or experienced very quickly all too soon, for example, trigonometry or the rules of indices, just to name a few. It also isn't a coincidence that all of those have got to do with mathematics, the syllabus of Secondary 3, to be precise.

But now, it must all come to an abrupt, no doubt apt, end, since I have no idea what to blog about anymore, and that I'm too sleepy (yes, on New Year's day) to make out what is sense and nonsense anymore. So, if what you've been reading is deemed as the same content that should belong in a library book that has been condemned, please spare me brutal honesty (I can't take it very well, sorry), and just wish me a Happy New Year.

Different feeling.

2005-12-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

Holidays always make me feel different, like I'm someone else. It's neither a good or bad thing I guess, since I totally forget about everything that happened in the past year, including homework. Then, when the new school year is around the corner, I start getting apprehensive of what's to come. Doesn't make much sense, right? It's not supposed to. See how nonsensical I can get.

I don't really make a good blogger. I'm not the diary type. It's obvious my life is less than mundane, more of the weird and unmentionable actually. Not that it's bad; I won't balk at it, but it's the kind of thing that people wouldn't bother about. So basically, couple a mundane life with bad writing, and you get d-dossier.blogspot.com. Go, click on the link, and you'll greeted by yet another boring webpage. See how lame I can get.

Oh well, at least for now, I've got less on my mind to worry about, what with the holidays and Christmas festivities, (Oh wait, festivities. Now that's something to be worried about. Darn.) and the longer I try to come up with something to fill up this space, the harder it gets. So why not spare myself the torment and end this post right here. See how lazy I can get.

Timing

2005-11-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

Ok, it may seem that I'm posting at funny times for my previous posts, because, all the while last time, being the IT-illiterate person that I am, I did not have any idea on how to change the time from American to Singapore's UTC/GMT +8 for the blog/place for incessant ranting.

So, being so not-tied-up all of a sudden (there's always a first for everything), I explored Blogger for the first time today (hurray for me). Anyway. This is just to quash those thoughts out there that think I blogged during school (although they should know my URL if they checked). Never.

Another irrelevant one.

2005-11-22T16:27:00.000+08:00

Has eternity gone by yet? Really? That was fast.

(My my, not paying close attention, eh. That's what my posts do to people. Refer to last post, 5th paragraph.) Anyway.

So here we are, at the (not so) awaited sequel of the aptly named "The Most Irrelevant", where readers, or rather victims, are hurled into a mess of disconnected thoughts, disoriented rantings, and the ever-so odd moment of truth. Here are some questions, now. Let there be megrim!

1. Why do online dictionaries have female speakers to enunciate, and not males?

2. Why do calculators sometimes refuse to have an "off" button, or refuse to do so when there's one?

3. Why does it take 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile? I mean, doesn't gravity help one bit?

4. Why is 70 - 80% of all Singaporean land state-owned?

It'll take at least a while for the dust to settle, but the age-old question, which defies all comprehension, (even logic): Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

what now?

2005-11-12T09:09:00.000+08:00

There is always a period in one's life where one asks self: "What now?"

So, "What now?" I asked myself one day. Of course not out loud, that would be mad. "What now?? a voice in my head whispered. Remember, I am not mad, just mentally unsound. So began a debate in my head.
Anyway, hogwash.

So ya, there will come a point in time where one is uncertain about life's direction. Where one is in need of navigation, and where one needs a rudder to do so. And a compass. Now that's important. Very.
Again, hogwash.

Whenever all this happens, it's just because one is disoriented, thrust into a situation so alien that E.T. couldn't even phone home, and that Manhunter couldn't wriggle himself out of. Well, it so happens that MIB couldn't even handle it.

You see, when one is disoriented, this is what happens. Blog posts become totally irrelevant, and readers will have to skip this one, and wait for eternity for another. Another totally irrelevant blog post because thisbloggerhasnothingtowriteandpostsinceheleads atotallymundaneanddisorientedlife,asIhavedisorientedlystatedabove.

Oh well, as they say, what porridge ate John Keats?!

when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

2005-11-08T14:57:00.000+08:00

When life hands me lemons, I must make lemonade. So, who wants some?

I have made plenty, and I'll have to continue making more.
Is this what I'm cut out to be? A lemonade seller or whatever?

Me and my bemoaning.
Anyway, on to a lighter note.

I like the people I am around now, and I hope that I will also come to like those I am soon going to be around next time. Hopefully.

So, 50 c per cup, anyone?

Hopefully,

2005-11-01T07:46:00.000+08:00

Hopefully, I'll enjoy the holidays.

Hopefully, I'll be able to focus on my work.

Hopefully, I'll be able to do better next year.

Hopefully, I can get along better next year.

Hopefully, I'll be normal next year.

Hopefully, I'll be me next year.

Hopefully, they'll be nicer next year.

Hopefully, my entries will get more relevant next year.

It had to end

2005-10-29T14:40:00.000+08:00

Sigh. This is the first time I ever missed school. Sigh. What is the world coming to when one longs for the very thing many others dread? It shows it is getting better. At least that is what I think.

It was a bitter-sweet moment. As much as I wanted the school year not to end (I know I sound mad, bear with me), I too looked forward to the new school year. It had to end, sometime.

And, I am glad that it actually lasts for three more years.

sighs of life

2005-10-20T13:40:00.000+08:00

The following list categorises what I call the 'sighs of life'. This may or may not be applicable to you.

Sighs of Life

1. When people score better in life than you do, yet they complain.

2. When no one stops when you hitch-hike or hail a cab, just before an interview.

3. When you can't reach a switch.

4. When the toilet refuses to flush when it's 'full'.

5. When you expect reciprocation, you don't get it.

6. When the printer breaks down the night before a deadline.

7. When the computer hangs on you at a 7-hour download at 95% status.

8. When, at 5 am in the morning, you realise that you have to wake up at 5.30 am.

9. When you are tired and sleepy.

10. When you got plenty more sighs, yet the 'sighs of life' list has ended.

Sigh.

over and out.

2005-10-12T09:11:00.000+08:00

The exams are over. And out of my schedule. Over and out. I'm lame.

But, it's not over yet. Projects and more assignments are awaiting my attention, to which sparsely I shall give. Tell it to Them. But, never mind, I shan't blame Them. After all, work is what keeps me going. (Note the serious expression on my face and my grim voice.)

Isn't it so?
Work, is what keeps us focused on achieving our goals.
Without work, I would just be whiling time away, doing nothing at home, twiddling thumbs.
I'd feel wasted. Like, there was nothing to live for.
Okay, maybe work is just one of the many commitments we have in life.
Maybe it isn't really much of an issue in life to some.

Well, too much of a good thing can be bad anyway.

ignoramus.

2005-10-10T07:49:00.000+08:00

I didn't know that Science was this tough.

Until now. Sigh, the woes of calculations.

What an Ignoramus I am. Well, who asked me to. No one, right?

I didn't know that Science was this tough.

diversity and subject combinations

2005-10-03T07:48:00.000+08:00

I have to choose what I want to study.
Sounds good?
Not for me.

Spoilt for choice?
Nah.
Depends on how well I do.

Isn't it true that we should always be balanced?
So. Does that mean Einstein should make way for Fleming and Bohr?
Or should it be the other way around?
I have no idea.

And does that mean I should choose between Livingstone and Macaulay?
Or can both keep the balance?
Again, I have no idea.

Subject combinations. Education's interpretation of diversity.
Amazon rainforest, here I come.

blog.

2005-09-24T16:11:00.000+08:00

Blog. I got it all wrong. Sigh.

out for lunch

2005-09-16T09:27:00.000+08:00

The entries are going to get shorter, and fewer too.
The exams are coming. What to do.

Don't blame me. I'm just trying to do my best i.e. studying.
Can anyone be my 'study buddy'?
Please?

2005-09-12T09:04:00.000+08:00

Wanted to tell y'all culture-starved people out there: go to a museum.
Especially the one at Empress' Place. Yes, the Asian Civilisations Museum. Otherwise known as ACM. Nope, not the one at Armenian Street. The one beside Victoria Concert Hall. Otherwise known as VCH. Ya.

They are having this 'Journey of Faith' exhibition there, showcasing Vatican history etc.
It's not very religious though. Only showcases artworks, artefacts, models and the facts.
Some of the artefacts/articles there are pretty valuable too.

All these may look like it came off the back of some brochure, but no, I'm not advertising.
And for the record, I'm Protestant. Ya.

thanks to her

2005-09-10T15:15:00.000+08:00

Ok people. For all those observant people out there.
What is different about the blog?
Other than some tweaks in the background.

Yes! You can now comment on my entries!
However, this is the closest thing to a tagboard I will allow on this blog indefinitely. Ha.

Credit should go to blog designer Tree, who noticed my last post. Ha. Again.
(Yes, a botanic lifeform helped me.)
Since I'm totally IT-illiterate.
And believe me when I say that. Because I don't go around saying I'm IT-illiterate for nothing.

And the tree just got balder when the background was modified. Sigh.

some of you may wonder

2005-09-08T19:47:00.000+08:00

Some may wonder why there is no tagboard. On the blog.

Well, for obvious reasons, really.

1. Clashes REAL badly with the background, people.

2. Sometimes, just sometimes, people tag totally different content on the tagboard from the entries posted. Even up to the extent of tagging about everything else under the sun, EXCEPT about the blog.

3. The standard of writing between mine and the taggers' may differ greatly, especially in the case where I write better.

4. Undesirable content may somehow just leak into my blog through the tagboard. (I really don't know how this happens. Just baffles me, totally.)

5. For all I know, some people just hate me and my blog. (I really don't know how this happens too. Maybe No. 3 applies in this case.)

6. 10 good reasons, anyone?

As to why you aren't able to comment on any of my blog entries, don't ask me. Ask the blog designer.

But, I like it just the way it is. Don't you?

rain tree

2005-09-06T05:29:00.000+08:00

Rain Tree
Related: Plant

Also called monkeypod, it is a large leguminous tropical tree (Albizia saman or Samanea saman) of tropical America belonging to the family Leguminosae (pulse family), the leaves of which fold together in cloudy weather and in darkness. Rain trees may attain heights of 80 ft (24 m) with a branch spread of up to 100 ft (30 m). These flat-topped trees are widely cultivated throughout the tropics as shade trees for such crops as coffee and cacao. Their edible pods are used chiefly for stock feed. The durable wood has a deep, rich color and is used for furniture. Other species of the genus are grown in warm climates for timber or food and sometimes as a source of gums and tannin. Rain trees are classified in the division Magnoliophyta, class Magnoliopsida, order Rosales, family Leguminosae.

At the very least, I'm useful. Ha.

symposium

2005-09-04T15:47:00.000+08:00

Went for a symposium today that one of my school teachers recommended to us. It was rather interesting, especially about the issues concerning our nation's identity, and how they were brought up and dealt with in different discussions. "National" food, symbols, art and architecture get tossed around like a pigskin during those really lively discussions. You get the feeling of "What a great world we live in" if you would sit in for one of those. The food there was great too. And, an architect there had an idea of a museum to give visitors a chance to open up their minds, and it was nice. The draft of the plan I mean. Really nice. Another thing that was very nice and out of this world was a Math report done up by a really hardworking guy called Allister. Really nice.

I suddenly realised that things are very nice. Really nice.

hotel rwanda

2005-09-03T15:45:00.000+08:00

The entire cohort in TA watched the movie Hotel Rwanda at school today.
Since most people know about the impact the movie has on the viewers, I'll talk more on the technical aspect of the movie. Which is not exactly. Good. Hmm.

Madame Archer. The Caucasian woman who is a Red Cross volunteer in Rwanda taking care of Tutsi orphans. Though I don't know the actress' name, she is one stiff woman. I mean, she is so expressionless whenever she is on scene. Compared to the rest of the cast that is. But the thing is, when you are faced with the probable death of all the orphans you are in charge of, the last thing you would do would be to look like a block of dead wood. Right? Right? Right.

Next. They should have proper scene transitions. No, I'm not talking about from one scene to the other, but as in, scenes which are meant to be continuous but cast in different camera angles. At some points in the movie, the scene continuity (I should say), was a little... uncontinuous. In the exact same scene, Madame Archer (yes, her again) was in two slightly different postures, when she was supposed to be as dead as a block of wood. Anyway. It could be the entire crew's fault. Why didn't they tell her?

And Don Cheadle, the lead... I kept mistaking him for Denzel Washington, though they look totally different from each other.

And we must finish two assignments by the end of the holidays. Loosely based on this movie. I can't imagine what I would come up with for those assignments. At least, not now.

the holidays

2005-09-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

The day wears on slowly, with little but doldrum, as the clock snailed along, so did I.

They released us early, in the hope that they would be rid of us as soon as possible.

After all, it was the holidays. Yeah... THE holidays. Like that was much good.

Anyway, so on to the holidays. What would I do? Nothing much I guess.

Just counting the days as they go by, and then, at the last moment, dread the end.

Wow. Don't you just ADORE the holidays. I sure do.

2005-08-31T09:38:00.001+08:00

Finally.