I must really be living under some rock

Why? Because, when I witness public displays of (rather extreme) affection I get a little uneasy. Call me a prude or whatever, but it's because I don't witness them from afar or in an easy-to-escape-if-I-want-to situation. It's when they're within a certain proximity from me or sitting right next to me for that matter. And I'm sorry, but it's especially worse when the girl looks a little Down Syndrome-ish (no I'm serious and by this I'm not mocking or anything) and the guy who's doing all sorts of things to/with her looks like he's taking advantage of some little naive girl. I feel uneasy, for the girl who doesn't seem to mind whatever he is doing to her, and for myself because I do mind. Well, not to the extent where I'll burn them on some stake or something, but close enough. Like rolling my eyes or something, hahaha. But as it is known, that isn't going to work. Of course not. Who cares about your rolling eyes when all they care about are rolling tongues. Okay I feel uneasy already.

So the first time was when I was at the beach, then I saw this couple there. The girl seriously looked like she suffered from Down Syndrome, with the overtly button nose and high, sometimes bulbous forehead, and the guy's hands were, let's put it this way, everywhere. The guy looked like he was five or seven years older than she was. To be fair, she herself looked older than me.

She was tearing quite a lot or something, her whole face was red and the mouth was down-turned. Obviously this raises alarm bells, and yes, the whole LAPD and Scotland Yard ran in through one ear. The left one, to be specific.

But then the whole force and K-9 unit ran out again, sirens, batons and all, through the other. Why? Because her hands were everywhere as well. I can't possibly go there and scream, "Stop it!" and have both of them look at me and say "WHY????????" in that irritating, whining sort of way where they really want something and you are trying to stop them from getting/doing that very thing, and then they continue with whatever they're doing. No.

The more recent encounter was in the train. This is what I mean by the cannot-escape-even-if-I-wanted-to sort of situation. This couple (note that I'm not bringing up any unnecessary physical description like race because even though both couples I've mentioned so far share the same race it's not isolated to only that certain race okay), again, hands everywhere, faces everywhere. So, I was standing next to them, and I thought I spied the girl's hands going too far south on him. Don't forget that she also looked quite dull, in the mental acuteness kind of way. She was also in uniform, possibly from a special needs school, I'm serious. But then, she seemed to be rather sexually mature, considering her actions at that point in time. So I moved away, like about four steps, because more would have drawn too much attention to myself, and that would show that I mind. Actually why do I even care, I saw some of the other passengers audibly tsk-ing their merry way. But that's how I thought at that point in time. AND THEN, GUESS WHAT.














GUESS LAHHHH.













They moved towards me! Like somehow, they waddled three steps in my direction, smooching-wooching all the while. In the meantime I tried to look bored. So I faced the opposite direction i.e. towards the other end of the carriage.

They moved even CLOSER. I could hear them better but not see them any. What's wrong with these people. So I shifted to the opposite side of the carriage, this time breadth-wise, which means that I stood nearer to the initially-opposite row of seated, tsk-ing people. (People don't just tsk for nothing you know. The tsks come whenever a kissing sound is made. HAHA. So it's like *kiss* *tsk* *kiss* *tsk* and the really big ones like *mua* or *oua* or whatever are followed by the assorted wah laos and sighs, ahaha.)

So, GUESS WHAT. Okay no need to guess, this one you know already. They somehow followed me again. This time it wasn't really following, but they did move to the opposite side of the carriage i.e. my side again! See what I mean by being in such situations.

Okay lah it's possible for me to escape if I really wanted to, by like screaming and shouting at them to get away from me, but that would be extreme. Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. Oh that just sounds so wrong in this context.

I think everyone sort of noticed what they were doing. But you know what, it was a coincidence really (I think), because after I gave up moving around, they continued doing so. Which means they weren't following me. Which is true because for the most part the world doesn't revolve around me.

They stayed in the same carriage, glued to each other, but they were still moving around. Like floating weeds or something. After a while they gravitated towards the metal pole in the centre of the carriage. Hahaha. It reminded me of the spiders' mating dance I used to see on documentaries, where the spiders would be connected to each other (somehow) and they would do a sort of dance all around on the female spider's web. Or was it some other kind of insect. All the same.

I must really be living under some rock, I tell you. Some big rock, where things like these are so funny, amusing and weird at the same time.

Side-note: SY and YX (especially) better make it this weekend. Or I'll lock them in the same carriage with the pseudo-spiders in heat.