My eyes have been opened

My eyes have been opened. It was the collection of results today. My human nature may be happy about my results, but spiritually, I am rejoicing. My trust in God has carried me through, and helped me remain unexpectedly collected, at least by my standards.

But why do I say my eyes have been opened? I've been in the college for the past four years, and I can safely say that the A levels have been such surprise springers. Achievers have been known to crumble, and there are those who rise from the ashes. It's very much like the tumbling thing in a washing machine; the A levels reset everything - it doesn't matter how well or whatever you did previously, apparently the only thing that matters is the now, the now when you get the results back.

But I disagree. To everyone out there, whoever is so reading - consistency is what truly matters. The results may give you the extra boost, or one foot in the door, but it cannot mask mediocrity in the long run. Keep doing what you are passionate in, it will pay off; never let the results decide what you are good in or not, of which have only been determined in what, three to six hours?

So many of the people I know are specialists i.e. they are especially proficient in a subject or two. The A levels require you to take a spread, and the Singapore syllabus is more demanding - you need to take a subject that could be entirely out of your field. Kudos to those who can handle it, but the real world doesn't necessarily work that way. I don't need trigonometry if I want to read Law. I don't need to be painstakingly familiar with Operation Coldstore if I want to take on Engineering. I don't have to care for externalities if I am into the Life Sciences. While I fully support the push for multi-disciplinary learning, don't let any mal-performance in this area bring anyone down. Because it's not for everyone.

While there are always issues with the subjective examination of scripts especially in written subjects, that cannot be helped in the near future. What I take issue with is the lack of disclosure of how we scored exactly. Definitely, the examination board should be trusted as a relevant authority, and of course we don't want people to be scrambling for their grades to be pushed up. But if there aren't any mistakes made in examination, can't all of us clearly see there isn't any point in harassing for marks? We would only look dumb and irrational if we did so. Barring the case of mass hysteria (it happens I guess) in such circumstances, I don't see why how the grading is done should not be disclosed. Shouldn't we learn from the mistakes we made?

Anyhow, one person who, so to speak, rose from the ashes, is N. I'm really happy for her, because I know she put in a lot of effort. I've helped her with quite a few subjects before, and I could see the diligence. Something redeeming about the A levels is that, well, they are redeeming.

I smsed many of my teachers who had taught me the various subjects, thanking them for all of their dedication. Here's what some of them said (more or less, and without the sms English, haha), for posterity's sake:

Lit Teacher 1:

"Hello darling! I'm very proud of you. :) But your A was entirely your own effort. Good luck with everything you do in the future and be in touch. Much love."

and later on

"Celebrate lots. :)"

Lit Teacher 2:

"Aw you're so welcome Cram! You were such a joy to teach - I really miss teaching your class by the way - and I'm so happy you did well. Your hard work paid off :) congrats and have fun celebrating."

The Lit teachers are great lah; they bring the subject to life.



Econs Teacher:

Basically I had quite a long sms conversation with her, especially since she already wasn't around in college. So these are the noteworthy bits.

"How did everybody else do?"

I told her what I knew.

"Ok. Thanks for informing me!"

I thanked her again.

"That's good. I'm very worried for your class, actually."

"Ya, the college did better this time round."

Hm. Ok. She's interesting in that way, haha. I can really see the passion and zeal for the subject in her eyes when she teaches sometimes. That's what teaching is all about.



CSE Teacher:

"It has been a joy teaching you. You have been a pleasure to teach. I wish you all the best and I'm sure that you will go on to better things. :)"

This is one whom I have seen grow as a teacher. He was a greenhorn at first; now, I can actually learn a lot from him.



GP Teacher:

"Hey you truly do deserve your excellent grades in your subjects. And I delight in your flair for the English language. Best wishes!"

She has been very encouraging to me, and is always very positive. That is especially crucial during crunch time.



Maths Teacher:

"Hahaha you are welcome. :) Your grades are not bad. :)"

and later on

"Just in case you didn't know; you are a good student with good attitude. :)"

(more or less)

.

That totally moved me. Coming from a Maths teacher some more. Maybe I knew all along (haha), but to be affirmed by someone else, it is another thing altogether. I answered him by saying that I will try not to lose it.

.

Hm.

.

.

.

That's what opened up my eyes. Affirmation is a powerful thing.

.
The A levels may have come and gone. Some have won, others have lost. But what I have gained, I will never forget.