WHOO got a treat today! One of my colleagues treated me to crab noodles/bee hoon! Y'all know what it is right? A WHOLE crab is placed into some broth with noodles (or they add in the noodles later, I don't know) and simmered to crab noodles/bee hoon perfection! So R (that's her) (that's the colleague) ordered two different kinds (black pepper and er, brothy?), and then we took a bit of each; trying more varieties is good. I didn't expect it but it was really nice! It was either because the crab was really fresh (whole chunky slivers of meat/whole slivery chunks of meat/FRESH MEAT MUAHAHA), or because I was eating for free. Hm. Well I think it was the former mostly lah.
UNTIL I KNEW THE PRICE. Wah, really expensive, at $16++! Okay lah, it's crab and it's really good, but still it wasn't a fancy place or anything like that. But it was really good. The place was packed with office workers. Who said there's a recession?
And R is a professional crab eater. By the looks of it, she eats whole crabs at least thrice a week, which is a lot. Haha no I'm just kidding. Probably every day, seven times a day. The way she manages to get the meat out in aesthetically pleasing chunks is amazing. I've learnt something new today!
Okay so you know I've been through so many harrowing experiences. All of it is traumatising my innocent mind, and it's really too much to take! *squeals*
WELL GUESS WHAT PEOPLE, THEY AREN'T LETTING ME OFF. THE TRAIN IS A SMORGASBORD OF PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION READY FOR SALE. IT'S LELONG TIME THERE I TELL YOU.
Okay here are the circumstances of the accident. So I boarded the train and saw four people sitting on the floor of the train, at the part where two carriages meet (the part which always shifts about whenever the train turns or something). Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) they were of the same race as the previous two couples. Beats me, seriously.
Three were girls (the other is now obviously a guy). Two of the girls looked normal (the other now obviously doesn't). In fact, she looked like a little *gasp* dull in her outlook on life as well. AND GUESS WHAT THE GUY HAD HIS HANDS ALL OVER HER AND YES, SHE HAD A REDDENED FACE AS WELL AND WAS TEARING. AGAIN.
Well this time the guy didn't look smarter or anything, as was the case last time. The guy, he looked to be sixteen/seventeen, but he was studying a P6 maths book. I kid you not. How were his hands all over, you ask. Well, use one hand lor. One hand busy with work, the other hand busy with play.
Haha I don't know whether I'm desensitised or something, but I didn't feel so uneasy this time round. It was more of amusing really. Picture this. The guy (he's King Kong from now on, not that he looks like one, in fact he looks much better, but that he BEHAVES like one) likes to put his arm around the girl, and so he does it repeatedly even though the girl is all teary and red-faced and refusing his King Kongish advances. She starts to tear more, and then all of a sudden, she goes into a retarded fit and whacks King Kong madly, pinching every part of his body she could reach (yes every part now shaddap). He grimaces fakely and puts on this pained look, probably because he wanted her sympathy/concern (?), but the girl BIT HIS EAR. Then he sort of shouted (like some silverbacked gorilla), and everyone looked. Way to go I tell you.
The other two girls laughed like normal girls do, and the teary girl just teared. Here comes the part that takes the cake. I don't know whether it'll seem funny or not, but it sure did just now.
He made a few pats on his shoulder closest to her, gesticulating like a monyet (how animalistic).
"Nar, sleep." (Don't ask me what nar means, it's the sound of King Kong.)
"Sleep lah."
"Sleeeeeep."
Then he SHOVES her head onto his shoulder. See I told you he's King Kong.
The head bounces back up and tears some more.
Shove.
Bounce.
Shove.
Bounce. Shove. Bounce. Shove. Bounce.
She didn't go into some mad, retarded fit again though. I guess she didn't have a chance to because King Kong decided that was that, and went back to his P6 maths.
Okay that wasn't really a public display of affection lah, if I should say so myself. It was just a public display of animalistic behaviour. Better go to the zoo for that. More worth it. Train rides are so expensive nowadays.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I must really be living under some rock
Why? Because, when I witness public displays of (rather extreme) affection I get a little uneasy. Call me a prude or whatever, but it's because I don't witness them from afar or in an easy-to-escape-if-I-want-to situation. It's when they're within a certain proximity from me or sitting right next to me for that matter. And I'm sorry, but it's especially worse when the girl looks a little Down Syndrome-ish (no I'm serious and by this I'm not mocking or anything) and the guy who's doing all sorts of things to/with her looks like he's taking advantage of some little naive girl. I feel uneasy, for the girl who doesn't seem to mind whatever he is doing to her, and for myself because I do mind. Well, not to the extent where I'll burn them on some stake or something, but close enough. Like rolling my eyes or something, hahaha. But as it is known, that isn't going to work. Of course not. Who cares about your rolling eyes when all they care about are rolling tongues. Okay I feel uneasy already.
So the first time was when I was at the beach, then I saw this couple there. The girl seriously looked like she suffered from Down Syndrome, with the overtly button nose and high, sometimes bulbous forehead, and the guy's hands were, let's put it this way, everywhere. The guy looked like he was five or seven years older than she was. To be fair, she herself looked older than me.
She was tearing quite a lot or something, her whole face was red and the mouth was down-turned. Obviously this raises alarm bells, and yes, the whole LAPD and Scotland Yard ran in through one ear. The left one, to be specific.
But then the whole force and K-9 unit ran out again, sirens, batons and all, through the other. Why? Because her hands were everywhere as well. I can't possibly go there and scream, "Stop it!" and have both of them look at me and say "WHY????????" in that irritating, whining sort of way where they really want something and you are trying to stop them from getting/doing that very thing, and then they continue with whatever they're doing. No.
The more recent encounter was in the train. This is what I mean by the cannot-escape-even-if-I-wanted-to sort of situation. This couple (note that I'm not bringing up any unnecessary physical description like race because even though both couples I've mentioned so far share the same race it's not isolated to only that certain race okay), again, hands everywhere, faces everywhere. So, I was standing next to them, and I thought I spied the girl's hands going too far south on him. Don't forget that she also looked quite dull, in the mental acuteness kind of way. She was also in uniform, possibly from a special needs school, I'm serious. But then, she seemed to be rather sexually mature, considering her actions at that point in time. So I moved away, like about four steps, because more would have drawn too much attention to myself, and that would show that I mind. Actually why do I even care, I saw some of the other passengers audibly tsk-ing their merry way. But that's how I thought at that point in time. AND THEN, GUESS WHAT.
GUESS LAHHHH.
They moved towards me! Like somehow, they waddled three steps in my direction, smooching-wooching all the while. In the meantime I tried to look bored. So I faced the opposite direction i.e. towards the other end of the carriage.
They moved even CLOSER. I could hear them better but not see them any. What's wrong with these people. So I shifted to the opposite side of the carriage, this time breadth-wise, which means that I stood nearer to the initially-opposite row of seated, tsk-ing people. (People don't just tsk for nothing you know. The tsks come whenever a kissing sound is made. HAHA. So it's like *kiss* *tsk* *kiss* *tsk* and the really big ones like *mua* or *oua* or whatever are followed by the assorted wah laos and sighs, ahaha.)
So, GUESS WHAT. Okay no need to guess, this one you know already. They somehow followed me again. This time it wasn't really following, but they did move to the opposite side of the carriage i.e. my side again! See what I mean by being in such situations.
Okay lah it's possible for me to escape if I really wanted to, by like screaming and shouting at them to get away from me, but that would be extreme. Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. Oh that just sounds so wrong in this context.
I think everyone sort of noticed what they were doing. But you know what, it was a coincidence really (I think), because after I gave up moving around, they continued doing so. Which means they weren't following me. Which is true because for the most part the world doesn't revolve around me.
They stayed in the same carriage, glued to each other, but they were still moving around. Like floating weeds or something. After a while they gravitated towards the metal pole in the centre of the carriage. Hahaha. It reminded me of the spiders' mating dance I used to see on documentaries, where the spiders would be connected to each other (somehow) and they would do a sort of dance all around on the female spider's web. Or was it some other kind of insect. All the same.
I must really be living under some rock, I tell you. Some big rock, where things like these are so funny, amusing and weird at the same time.
Side-note: SY and YX (especially) better make it this weekend. Or I'll lock them in the same carriage with the pseudo-spiders in heat.
So the first time was when I was at the beach, then I saw this couple there. The girl seriously looked like she suffered from Down Syndrome, with the overtly button nose and high, sometimes bulbous forehead, and the guy's hands were, let's put it this way, everywhere. The guy looked like he was five or seven years older than she was. To be fair, she herself looked older than me.
She was tearing quite a lot or something, her whole face was red and the mouth was down-turned. Obviously this raises alarm bells, and yes, the whole LAPD and Scotland Yard ran in through one ear. The left one, to be specific.
But then the whole force and K-9 unit ran out again, sirens, batons and all, through the other. Why? Because her hands were everywhere as well. I can't possibly go there and scream, "Stop it!" and have both of them look at me and say "WHY????????" in that irritating, whining sort of way where they really want something and you are trying to stop them from getting/doing that very thing, and then they continue with whatever they're doing. No.
The more recent encounter was in the train. This is what I mean by the cannot-escape-even-if-I-wanted-to sort of situation. This couple (note that I'm not bringing up any unnecessary physical description like race because even though both couples I've mentioned so far share the same race it's not isolated to only that certain race okay), again, hands everywhere, faces everywhere. So, I was standing next to them, and I thought I spied the girl's hands going too far south on him. Don't forget that she also looked quite dull, in the mental acuteness kind of way. She was also in uniform, possibly from a special needs school, I'm serious. But then, she seemed to be rather sexually mature, considering her actions at that point in time. So I moved away, like about four steps, because more would have drawn too much attention to myself, and that would show that I mind. Actually why do I even care, I saw some of the other passengers audibly tsk-ing their merry way. But that's how I thought at that point in time. AND THEN, GUESS WHAT.
GUESS LAHHHH.
They moved towards me! Like somehow, they waddled three steps in my direction, smooching-wooching all the while. In the meantime I tried to look bored. So I faced the opposite direction i.e. towards the other end of the carriage.
They moved even CLOSER. I could hear them better but not see them any. What's wrong with these people. So I shifted to the opposite side of the carriage, this time breadth-wise, which means that I stood nearer to the initially-opposite row of seated, tsk-ing people. (People don't just tsk for nothing you know. The tsks come whenever a kissing sound is made. HAHA. So it's like *kiss* *tsk* *kiss* *tsk* and the really big ones like *mua* or *oua* or whatever are followed by the assorted wah laos and sighs, ahaha.)
So, GUESS WHAT. Okay no need to guess, this one you know already. They somehow followed me again. This time it wasn't really following, but they did move to the opposite side of the carriage i.e. my side again! See what I mean by being in such situations.
Okay lah it's possible for me to escape if I really wanted to, by like screaming and shouting at them to get away from me, but that would be extreme. Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. Oh that just sounds so wrong in this context.
I think everyone sort of noticed what they were doing. But you know what, it was a coincidence really (I think), because after I gave up moving around, they continued doing so. Which means they weren't following me. Which is true because for the most part the world doesn't revolve around me.
They stayed in the same carriage, glued to each other, but they were still moving around. Like floating weeds or something. After a while they gravitated towards the metal pole in the centre of the carriage. Hahaha. It reminded me of the spiders' mating dance I used to see on documentaries, where the spiders would be connected to each other (somehow) and they would do a sort of dance all around on the female spider's web. Or was it some other kind of insect. All the same.
I must really be living under some rock, I tell you. Some big rock, where things like these are so funny, amusing and weird at the same time.
Side-note: SY and YX (especially) better make it this weekend. Or I'll lock them in the same carriage with the pseudo-spiders in heat.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
PHWOAR
So long didn't post anything already. It's actually weird because some time back I thought nothing of not touching this space on the web for an entire year, but now I feel the need to. Perhaps it's because it's one of the few ways I can (sort of) still be vaguely connected to others, since I don't have any accounts on Facebook or other online social networks. It's not as if a lot of people visit this place, BUT IT'S CERTAINLY MORE THAN THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO COMMENT OH MY GOODNESS WHOEVER YOU ARE IF YOU READ PLEASE LEAVE SOME SORT OF TRACE BEHIND I HATE TO THINK THAT SOME PEOPLE KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT ME BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM IT'S FREAKY I DON'T CARE IF I DON'T REALLY REVEAL WHO I AM BECAUSE I KNOW YOU THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW THAT YOU KNOW BUT REALLY I DO KNOW THAT YOU DO.
I know okay.
Anyway I have so much to say. POSTERITY TIME.
So 123 came and went, and so many people remembered compared to last year! Must be because the A's are out of the way, and finally everyone can straighten out their thinking and remember the most important things in life. M gave me a nice pouch which I assumed was a handphone pouch, so now it's my handphone pouch because I assumed it was. The SISTER, since I bought her some expensive chocolate thing for her birthday, reciprocated with something from those gift shops that are out to suck money. But still it's a gift I will love it all the same and treat it well.
Ok on Friday the 13th it wasn't unlucky because I don't believe in that. Oh ya and also because I got a treat! From K nonetheless. She said that 'it was worth it treating a good friend' like me (something along that line, give or take eight or so words). So you know, I love treats, and by association I will adore people who give me treats. Went for Japanese food! (I still love it by the way but somehow a little less than before. WHY.) Then after that we got all moody about A level results (okay I shall shut up about that now), so to lift them spirits we went to the arcade! And played lame games like spot the differences and those ten-second things which stress you out greatly, especially for two people who can't play well/to save themselves/for nuts. Oh ya then came the first of many comments to come that said I looked good in work clothes (but of course) compared to school attire.
Saturday the 14th! YX and I chiong-ed
both NUS and NTU open houses, because spending the whole weekend merely on open houses is never justifiable in this universe.
The MOTHER'S church friends remembered all of our birthdays, but since the BROTHER wasn't around, the SISTER and I got to celebrate it with them at night. So much food can, and it was very thoughtful of them because it was almost like a surprise, very unexpected. These days we get so little of that. <---- HINT DARNNIT.
Sunday the 15th I went out for dinner with ZY and SY for buffet. Apparently they now think I can eat a lot. Well, I can. So we stayed there from 6.45 all the way to 10.30 (closing time), and I ate the whole way MUAHAHA it's time to get my money back oh wait I didn't pay.
MUAHAHAHA.
Oh ya and I actually made small talk with this lady diner at the food counter who was wondering where the atapchi were. I pointed them out, and then she started telling me all about how they were fantastic with yam ice-cream, which was really nice of her but because I was too full I skipped that and just took ice kacang and plenty of fruit and more drinks. So funny right! Even funnier was that she turned out to be SY's cousin and all of 40-odd years old! SO FUNNY RIGHT. I think SY's family is stalking him or something hahaha. After that we had to take a walk because we were all too full. Took the last train home with ZY (I never did that before!) (I know, shaddap ah).
Monday the 16th was E's farewell party because she's going to this faraway place called the Nomadic Homelands of the Arizon (the barren sisterland of the Amazon) where the nightsky is amazing and the desert is everywhere. Oh yes and where people are friendly to you if you are tall so E should fit in quite nicely there. Met nearly the entire Lamentable Empire at the gathering, and ate a lot again. I hope E has a great time there, and that she won't come back too angmoh-cised and everything. Hahaha but I think she will.
Fast-forward to Friday the 20th: the BROTHER'S birthday!
Oh ya and I saw D at the train station with a bloody mouth and Ms WYY in the bus. How ordinary. I expected ABBA at least.
Okay now I need to make a real point. I don't understand why some people see climbing the escalator as a requisite, and that not doing so is impolite or plain rude. I can understand if you are in a rush, and that's why I stand to the left side, and so do many other commuters. What I don't get is the perception that prevails among office workers in the CBD area, that climbing escalators is a given. Escalators aren't made for climbing! The steps are so high and such a distance from each other that climbing can give you
a) wedgies,
b) zao-kengs (for lack of a better and more fitting word) if wearing a skirt,
c) clanking sounds if in office footwear e.g. court shoes, heels
d) nasty falls, from the pointy things on the steps and the clumsy syndrome (I have this)
But anyway, it's okay to climb escalators lah. Unless I'm on the same one.
I know okay.
Anyway I have so much to say. POSTERITY TIME.
So 123 came and went, and so many people remembered compared to last year! Must be because the A's are out of the way, and finally everyone can straighten out their thinking and remember the most important things in life. M gave me a nice pouch which I assumed was a handphone pouch, so now it's my handphone pouch because I assumed it was. The SISTER, since I bought her some expensive chocolate thing for her birthday, reciprocated with something from those gift shops that are out to suck money. But still it's a gift I will love it all the same and treat it well.
Ok on Friday the 13th it wasn't unlucky because I don't believe in that. Oh ya and also because I got a treat! From K nonetheless. She said that 'it was worth it treating a good friend' like me (something along that line, give or take eight or so words). So you know, I love treats, and by association I will adore people who give me treats. Went for Japanese food! (I still love it by the way but somehow a little less than before. WHY.) Then after that we got all moody about A level results (okay I shall shut up about that now), so to lift them spirits we went to the arcade! And played lame games like spot the differences and those ten-second things which stress you out greatly, especially for two people who can't play well/to save themselves/for nuts. Oh ya then came the first of many comments to come that said I looked good in work clothes (but of course) compared to school attire.
Saturday the 14th! YX and I chiong-ed
(colloquialism explanation time [to be imagined in those irritating computer voices with lame names like Martin or Jenna or doob that are always broken because they pronounce words WRONGLY 60% of the time]: chiong. To rush; to quickly accomplish a task in a frenzied state that will leave one debilitated for the rest of one's life. For example, we can say, "YX chiong-ed to the loo." Alternatively, we can also say, "YX chiong-ed her sandwich because she needed the loo.")
both NUS and NTU open houses, because spending the whole weekend merely on open houses is never justifiable in this universe.
We learnt a little,
got confused a bit,
and were tired plenty
at the end of it.
.
For the sake of rhyme,
I just ate a zit.
The MOTHER'S church friends remembered all of our birthdays, but since the BROTHER wasn't around, the SISTER and I got to celebrate it with them at night. So much food can, and it was very thoughtful of them because it was almost like a surprise, very unexpected. These days we get so little of that. <---- HINT DARNNIT.
Sunday the 15th I went out for dinner with ZY and SY for buffet. Apparently they now think I can eat a lot. Well, I can. So we stayed there from 6.45 all the way to 10.30 (closing time), and I ate the whole way MUAHAHA it's time to get my money back oh wait I didn't pay.
MUAHAHAHA.
Oh ya and I actually made small talk with this lady diner at the food counter who was wondering where the atapchi were. I pointed them out, and then she started telling me all about how they were fantastic with yam ice-cream, which was really nice of her but because I was too full I skipped that and just took ice kacang and plenty of fruit and more drinks. So funny right! Even funnier was that she turned out to be SY's cousin and all of 40-odd years old! SO FUNNY RIGHT. I think SY's family is stalking him or something hahaha. After that we had to take a walk because we were all too full. Took the last train home with ZY (I never did that before!) (I know, shaddap ah).
Monday the 16th was E's farewell party because she's going to this faraway place called the Nomadic Homelands of the Arizon (the barren sisterland of the Amazon) where the nightsky is amazing and the desert is everywhere. Oh yes and where people are friendly to you if you are tall so E should fit in quite nicely there. Met nearly the entire Lamentable Empire at the gathering, and ate a lot again. I hope E has a great time there, and that she won't come back too angmoh-cised and everything. Hahaha but I think she will.
Fast-forward to Friday the 20th: the BROTHER'S birthday!
I think he spent it like it was any other day,
to him it isn't much of a big deal anyway.
.
Er in two months' time it'll be Maaay.
(I think I make a fantastic songwriter.)
Oh ya and I saw D at the train station with a bloody mouth and Ms WYY in the bus. How ordinary. I expected ABBA at least.
Okay now I need to make a real point. I don't understand why some people see climbing the escalator as a requisite, and that not doing so is impolite or plain rude. I can understand if you are in a rush, and that's why I stand to the left side, and so do many other commuters. What I don't get is the perception that prevails among office workers in the CBD area, that climbing escalators is a given. Escalators aren't made for climbing! The steps are so high and such a distance from each other that climbing can give you
a) wedgies,
b) zao-kengs (for lack of a better and more fitting word) if wearing a skirt,
c) clanking sounds if in office footwear e.g. court shoes, heels
d) nasty falls, from the pointy things on the steps and the clumsy syndrome (I have this)
But anyway, it's okay to climb escalators lah. Unless I'm on the same one.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY POST SO I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT
"Greetings, people of Cramada!"
*a resounding silence followed by half-hearted attempts to start uproarious Applause but because everyone is so timid they don't really catch on and thus the half-hearted attempts remain just that and soon after they die down because the people who started them aren't exactly brave either*
*more resounding silence because the speaker was dumb enough to expect Applause because of the temporary trend of being fashionably late but apparently the Applause just seemed to be like some over-grown full-term baby unwilling to pop out and instead the nurses can only see its damp head swathed in black and nothing else*
*eyes scan the cavernous hall, trying to detect some signs of life. Any life*
*clearing of throat because that's the only thing one can do when one is nervous, utterly embarrassed, and acutely aware of one's dismal situation, all at the same time*
"I, the Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, Associate of the Greats of Cramada, Rear-Admiral of the Seventh Division of Murmur, and disputed Ruler of the Eastern Regions, *catches breath*, am deeply honoured to declare the 12th day of March a day of great celebration and reflection, a day when the senior will reminisce the great feats of our Founder, and a day when the young will begin on the foundations of their character."
*pauses for dramatic effect*
"From the deepest recesses of ancient history, our great Leader demonstrated immense tenacity and powerful resolve. It was his ever indomitable spirit that has seen us through the ages, living on in each of us, empowering us to excel and to forge frontiers. His strong character and principled actions have instilled in us the greatest sense of humanity and community. It is as thus we are the most powerful and yet the most compassionate of beings, while not even being remotely interesting nonetheless."
*dry cough from the deepest recesses of the hall*
*stare*
*glare*
"We have certainly come thus far, as a nation, as a people, as a family. While we prosper, we should never take things for granted. Like that time, when I told the coffeeshop auntie to prepare coffee (what else) for me, I took it for granted that she would brew me premium Blue Mountain coffee, since I'm the Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, Associate of the Greats of Cramada, Rear-Admiral of the Seventh Division of Murmur, and disputed Ruler of the Eastern Regions, *catches breath*, but no. She sneered at me after that, and said that she was the ultimate ruler of the Nether Regions. Whatever. I still rule in the Eastern Regions."
"And we should never bow to other countries, but we must embrace the Outsiders with open arms. After all, that is what our Magnificent Moomoo would have done. His gentle empathy for other beings and aversion to narrow-mindedness are enduring lessons for our citizens. For we cannot be called true Cramadians unless we effortlessly display that level of graciousness. And you over there. Yes you. Yes the one with the ugly shirt on, stop looking around, I'm talking to you. Now get over with the small talk and listen. No no, don't give me that constipated look. I hate it when people do that. Pay attention or else you will get to know what happens when you interrupt an Associate of the Greats of Cramada!"
"As it is often said among Cramadians, the sh-"
*GONG*
*Another grand-looking person holding a gigantic clock a la Alice in Wonderland waltzes up to the podium*
"That will be enough, Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, thank you very much. I, the Enduring Timekeeper, would like to note that time is of the essence here, and it seems that you took too much Brand's this anti-night. That is, might I add, anti-legal in Cramada because we don't believe in its said properties."
"We will now, at this point in time, partake of a Minute in Silence, to commemorate His Greatness' penchant for quiet and solitude, before the Annual Carnival of noise and anti-silence. Let the Minute begin."
*after one minute of silence, which wasn't too hard to achieve anyway and would have probably dragged on longer, if not for the Timekeeper's addiction to anti-tardiness, because everyone was too disinterested*
"Thank you for your kind cooperation. Please proceed to Wing Five for the reception, and to Wing Four for the special durian cream puffs. Might I add that the aforementioned puffs are only to be consumed before meals, in the example of our Most Esteemed Comrade. Those who intentionally pit themselves against the glorious memories of the Conqueror, please proceed to Wing Ten. You will be accorded appropriate treatment. Thank you and have a great Founders' Day."
*a resounding silence followed by half-hearted attempts to start uproarious Applause but because everyone is so timid they don't really catch on and thus the half-hearted attempts remain just that and soon after they die down because the people who started them aren't exactly brave either*
*more resounding silence because the speaker was dumb enough to expect Applause because of the temporary trend of being fashionably late but apparently the Applause just seemed to be like some over-grown full-term baby unwilling to pop out and instead the nurses can only see its damp head swathed in black and nothing else*
*eyes scan the cavernous hall, trying to detect some signs of life. Any life*
*clearing of throat because that's the only thing one can do when one is nervous, utterly embarrassed, and acutely aware of one's dismal situation, all at the same time*
"I, the Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, Associate of the Greats of Cramada, Rear-Admiral of the Seventh Division of Murmur, and disputed Ruler of the Eastern Regions, *catches breath*, am deeply honoured to declare the 12th day of March a day of great celebration and reflection, a day when the senior will reminisce the great feats of our Founder, and a day when the young will begin on the foundations of their character."
*pauses for dramatic effect*
"From the deepest recesses of ancient history, our great Leader demonstrated immense tenacity and powerful resolve. It was his ever indomitable spirit that has seen us through the ages, living on in each of us, empowering us to excel and to forge frontiers. His strong character and principled actions have instilled in us the greatest sense of humanity and community. It is as thus we are the most powerful and yet the most compassionate of beings, while not even being remotely interesting nonetheless."
*dry cough from the deepest recesses of the hall*
*stare*
*glare*
"We have certainly come thus far, as a nation, as a people, as a family. While we prosper, we should never take things for granted. Like that time, when I told the coffeeshop auntie to prepare coffee (what else) for me, I took it for granted that she would brew me premium Blue Mountain coffee, since I'm the Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, Associate of the Greats of Cramada, Rear-Admiral of the Seventh Division of Murmur, and disputed Ruler of the Eastern Regions, *catches breath*, but no. She sneered at me after that, and said that she was the ultimate ruler of the Nether Regions. Whatever. I still rule in the Eastern Regions."
"And we should never bow to other countries, but we must embrace the Outsiders with open arms. After all, that is what our Magnificent Moomoo would have done. His gentle empathy for other beings and aversion to narrow-mindedness are enduring lessons for our citizens. For we cannot be called true Cramadians unless we effortlessly display that level of graciousness. And you over there. Yes you. Yes the one with the ugly shirt on, stop looking around, I'm talking to you. Now get over with the small talk and listen. No no, don't give me that constipated look. I hate it when people do that. Pay attention or else you will get to know what happens when you interrupt an Associate of the Greats of Cramada!"
"As it is often said among Cramadians, the sh-"
*GONG*
*Another grand-looking person holding a gigantic clock a la Alice in Wonderland waltzes up to the podium*
"That will be enough, Deputy Executive Senior Minister of The Order of Calendar, thank you very much. I, the Enduring Timekeeper, would like to note that time is of the essence here, and it seems that you took too much Brand's this anti-night. That is, might I add, anti-legal in Cramada because we don't believe in its said properties."
"We will now, at this point in time, partake of a Minute in Silence, to commemorate His Greatness' penchant for quiet and solitude, before the Annual Carnival of noise and anti-silence. Let the Minute begin."
*after one minute of silence, which wasn't too hard to achieve anyway and would have probably dragged on longer, if not for the Timekeeper's addiction to anti-tardiness, because everyone was too disinterested*
"Thank you for your kind cooperation. Please proceed to Wing Five for the reception, and to Wing Four for the special durian cream puffs. Might I add that the aforementioned puffs are only to be consumed before meals, in the example of our Most Esteemed Comrade. Those who intentionally pit themselves against the glorious memories of the Conqueror, please proceed to Wing Ten. You will be accorded appropriate treatment. Thank you and have a great Founders' Day."
Saturday, March 07, 2009
My eyes have been opened
My eyes have been opened. It was the collection of results today. My human nature may be happy about my results, but spiritually, I am rejoicing. My trust in God has carried me through, and helped me remain unexpectedly collected, at least by my standards.
But why do I say my eyes have been opened? I've been in the college for the past four years, and I can safely say that the A levels have been such surprise springers. Achievers have been known to crumble, and there are those who rise from the ashes. It's very much like the tumbling thing in a washing machine; the A levels reset everything - it doesn't matter how well or whatever you did previously, apparently the only thing that matters is the now, the now when you get the results back.
But I disagree. To everyone out there, whoever is so reading - consistency is what truly matters. The results may give you the extra boost, or one foot in the door, but it cannot mask mediocrity in the long run. Keep doing what you are passionate in, it will pay off; never let the results decide what you are good in or not, of which have only been determined in what, three to six hours?
So many of the people I know are specialists i.e. they are especially proficient in a subject or two. The A levels require you to take a spread, and the Singapore syllabus is more demanding - you need to take a subject that could be entirely out of your field. Kudos to those who can handle it, but the real world doesn't necessarily work that way. I don't need trigonometry if I want to read Law. I don't need to be painstakingly familiar with Operation Coldstore if I want to take on Engineering. I don't have to care for externalities if I am into the Life Sciences. While I fully support the push for multi-disciplinary learning, don't let any mal-performance in this area bring anyone down. Because it's not for everyone.
While there are always issues with the subjective examination of scripts especially in written subjects, that cannot be helped in the near future. What I take issue with is the lack of disclosure of how we scored exactly. Definitely, the examination board should be trusted as a relevant authority, and of course we don't want people to be scrambling for their grades to be pushed up. But if there aren't any mistakes made in examination, can't all of us clearly see there isn't any point in harassing for marks? We would only look dumb and irrational if we did so. Barring the case of mass hysteria (it happens I guess) in such circumstances, I don't see why how the grading is done should not be disclosed. Shouldn't we learn from the mistakes we made?
Anyhow, one person who, so to speak, rose from the ashes, is N. I'm really happy for her, because I know she put in a lot of effort. I've helped her with quite a few subjects before, and I could see the diligence. Something redeeming about the A levels is that, well, they are redeeming.
I smsed many of my teachers who had taught me the various subjects, thanking them for all of their dedication. Here's what some of them said (more or less, and without the sms English, haha), for posterity's sake:
Lit Teacher 1:
and later on
The Lit teachers are great lah; they bring the subject to life.
Econs Teacher:
Basically I had quite a long sms conversation with her, especially since she already wasn't around in college. So these are the noteworthy bits.
I told her what I knew.
I thanked her again.
Hm. Ok. She's interesting in that way, haha. I can really see the passion and zeal for the subject in her eyes when she teaches sometimes. That's what teaching is all about.
CSE Teacher:
This is one whom I have seen grow as a teacher. He was a greenhorn at first; now, I can actually learn a lot from him.
GP Teacher:
She has been very encouraging to me, and is always very positive. That is especially crucial during crunch time.
Maths Teacher:
and later on
The A levels may have come and gone. Some have won, others have lost. But what I have gained, I will never forget.
But why do I say my eyes have been opened? I've been in the college for the past four years, and I can safely say that the A levels have been such surprise springers. Achievers have been known to crumble, and there are those who rise from the ashes. It's very much like the tumbling thing in a washing machine; the A levels reset everything - it doesn't matter how well or whatever you did previously, apparently the only thing that matters is the now, the now when you get the results back.
But I disagree. To everyone out there, whoever is so reading - consistency is what truly matters. The results may give you the extra boost, or one foot in the door, but it cannot mask mediocrity in the long run. Keep doing what you are passionate in, it will pay off; never let the results decide what you are good in or not, of which have only been determined in what, three to six hours?
So many of the people I know are specialists i.e. they are especially proficient in a subject or two. The A levels require you to take a spread, and the Singapore syllabus is more demanding - you need to take a subject that could be entirely out of your field. Kudos to those who can handle it, but the real world doesn't necessarily work that way. I don't need trigonometry if I want to read Law. I don't need to be painstakingly familiar with Operation Coldstore if I want to take on Engineering. I don't have to care for externalities if I am into the Life Sciences. While I fully support the push for multi-disciplinary learning, don't let any mal-performance in this area bring anyone down. Because it's not for everyone.
While there are always issues with the subjective examination of scripts especially in written subjects, that cannot be helped in the near future. What I take issue with is the lack of disclosure of how we scored exactly. Definitely, the examination board should be trusted as a relevant authority, and of course we don't want people to be scrambling for their grades to be pushed up. But if there aren't any mistakes made in examination, can't all of us clearly see there isn't any point in harassing for marks? We would only look dumb and irrational if we did so. Barring the case of mass hysteria (it happens I guess) in such circumstances, I don't see why how the grading is done should not be disclosed. Shouldn't we learn from the mistakes we made?
Anyhow, one person who, so to speak, rose from the ashes, is N. I'm really happy for her, because I know she put in a lot of effort. I've helped her with quite a few subjects before, and I could see the diligence. Something redeeming about the A levels is that, well, they are redeeming.
I smsed many of my teachers who had taught me the various subjects, thanking them for all of their dedication. Here's what some of them said (more or less, and without the sms English, haha), for posterity's sake:
Lit Teacher 1:
"Hello darling! I'm very proud of you. :) But your A was entirely your own effort. Good luck with everything you do in the future and be in touch. Much love."
and later on
"Celebrate lots. :)"
Lit Teacher 2:
"Aw you're so welcome Cram! You were such a joy to teach - I really miss teaching your class by the way - and I'm so happy you did well. Your hard work paid off :) congrats and have fun celebrating."
The Lit teachers are great lah; they bring the subject to life.
Econs Teacher:
Basically I had quite a long sms conversation with her, especially since she already wasn't around in college. So these are the noteworthy bits.
"How did everybody else do?"
I told her what I knew.
"Ok. Thanks for informing me!"
I thanked her again.
"That's good. I'm very worried for your class, actually."
"Ya, the college did better this time round."
Hm. Ok. She's interesting in that way, haha. I can really see the passion and zeal for the subject in her eyes when she teaches sometimes. That's what teaching is all about.
CSE Teacher:
"It has been a joy teaching you. You have been a pleasure to teach. I wish you all the best and I'm sure that you will go on to better things. :)"
This is one whom I have seen grow as a teacher. He was a greenhorn at first; now, I can actually learn a lot from him.
GP Teacher:
"Hey you truly do deserve your excellent grades in your subjects. And I delight in your flair for the English language. Best wishes!"
She has been very encouraging to me, and is always very positive. That is especially crucial during crunch time.
Maths Teacher:
"Hahaha you are welcome. :) Your grades are not bad. :)"
and later on
"Just in case you didn't know; you are a good student with good attitude. :)"
(more or less)
.
That totally moved me. Coming from a Maths teacher some more. Maybe I knew all along (haha), but to be affirmed by someone else, it is another thing altogether. I answered him by saying that I will try not to lose it.
.
Hm.
.
.
.
That's what opened up my eyes. Affirmation is a powerful thing.
.The A levels may have come and gone. Some have won, others have lost. But what I have gained, I will never forget.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
writing and Him
Somehow I think every professional out there has got ugly handwriting. No wait, that doesn't quite cut it. Ugly handwriting is still tolerable if it can be deciphered. It's more of illegible handwriting that every doctor, lawyer, or consultant seems to have. So much so that it seems like, if you've got horrendous writing, you've made it big in the world. Or, every professional requires those scrawls to prove their mettle or capabilities as, professionals. Or something like that.
It's always like that. My grandma sometimes visits the nearby polyclinics to get medicines and pills, and when she gets back home and wants to administer, she can't. Because she can't understand whatever's written on the bottle or at the back of the box. She'll ask me whether I can tell her how many times a day to take the medicine, how many times a week, and for how long. And I'll have to tell her, I don't know, because the 3 looks like an 8 looks like a 5 or something. So she'll just follow a loose routine of popping them after every meal, three days a week, until they're all finished. So far she's alright. I guess that's working out then.
And now my boss. He sometimes passes me stuff I have to do, along with scrawls they call writing on the margins; I'm expected to understand them and carry those instructions out accordingly. I tell him I'm unable to decipher it, and I'm referred to his secretary because he's a busy man (which he is). His secretary deciphers half of the scrawls (it's more hieroglyphics, really), and then I'm left to my own devices. So sometimes during the office hours you can see me hopping from one desk to another, trying to get the colleagues to help out. It's a team effort, really. Each one of us apparently is able to recognise some of the words that other colleagues somehow just can't. Are we special, or what.
It will be Friday when we get our results back. I can't say I don't feel anything, but at the same time I think I feel quite alright nonetheless. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being all overconfident or anything, but I can rest easier knowing that God has got my back. I've got to trust in Him. He's all I got.
It's always like that. My grandma sometimes visits the nearby polyclinics to get medicines and pills, and when she gets back home and wants to administer, she can't. Because she can't understand whatever's written on the bottle or at the back of the box. She'll ask me whether I can tell her how many times a day to take the medicine, how many times a week, and for how long. And I'll have to tell her, I don't know, because the 3 looks like an 8 looks like a 5 or something. So she'll just follow a loose routine of popping them after every meal, three days a week, until they're all finished. So far she's alright. I guess that's working out then.
And now my boss. He sometimes passes me stuff I have to do, along with scrawls they call writing on the margins; I'm expected to understand them and carry those instructions out accordingly. I tell him I'm unable to decipher it, and I'm referred to his secretary because he's a busy man (which he is). His secretary deciphers half of the scrawls (it's more hieroglyphics, really), and then I'm left to my own devices. So sometimes during the office hours you can see me hopping from one desk to another, trying to get the colleagues to help out. It's a team effort, really. Each one of us apparently is able to recognise some of the words that other colleagues somehow just can't. Are we special, or what.
It will be Friday when we get our results back. I can't say I don't feel anything, but at the same time I think I feel quite alright nonetheless. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being all overconfident or anything, but I can rest easier knowing that God has got my back. I've got to trust in Him. He's all I got.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
squeak squeak
Ok so I went jogging again today (basically yesterday, in the afternoon), and this time I took the Changi Business Park route. It's really really ulu there it's great, unlike Max Pavilion and Expo carpark on Saturdays, where basically next to half of Singapore somehow ends up. Changi Business Park was really empty today because it wasn't a working day and all.
Then I saw a car. It was one of those Chinese brands, which model their cars after European makes and designs. Therefore it looked like a constipated Mercedes Benz. It was parked beside the path I was running on, and sooner or later I was going to be right beside it. Funny thing was, I noticed somebody inside. And the car was like rocking or something. I could even HEAR it rocking away. *Squeak squeak squeak* like some constipated car would naturally go. Then I got closer and guess what I saw.
GUESS LAH.
I saw two naked people. Behind some darkly tinted glass. But they were clearly naked. And they were very intimate with each other. (That's all I'm going to say.) But that's probably a gross understatement because as I realised, the car was still rocking away like some freaking cradle. It was so bad I tell you. And they didn't even notice that I ran right past them. Or they didn't choose to lah. But I guess that's better. And at least get curtains lah, or put newspaper or something. Evidently, they didn't count on joggers chancing upon them. I also saw other couples around the area, some walking around and taking pictures near the putrid and algae-clogged body of water they call an eco-lake. Apparently it's Valentine's Day in that area, I don't know.
On another note, I'm really satisfied with my job. Not that's it's easy or anything, but I learn so much from it. Oh ya, and office gossip is really something I tell you.
Then I saw a car. It was one of those Chinese brands, which model their cars after European makes and designs. Therefore it looked like a constipated Mercedes Benz. It was parked beside the path I was running on, and sooner or later I was going to be right beside it. Funny thing was, I noticed somebody inside. And the car was like rocking or something. I could even HEAR it rocking away. *Squeak squeak squeak* like some constipated car would naturally go. Then I got closer and guess what I saw.
GUESS LAH.
I saw two naked people. Behind some darkly tinted glass. But they were clearly naked. And they were very intimate with each other. (That's all I'm going to say.) But that's probably a gross understatement because as I realised, the car was still rocking away like some freaking cradle. It was so bad I tell you. And they didn't even notice that I ran right past them. Or they didn't choose to lah. But I guess that's better. And at least get curtains lah, or put newspaper or something. Evidently, they didn't count on joggers chancing upon them. I also saw other couples around the area, some walking around and taking pictures near the putrid and algae-clogged body of water they call an eco-lake. Apparently it's Valentine's Day in that area, I don't know.
On another note, I'm really satisfied with my job. Not that's it's easy or anything, but I learn so much from it. Oh ya, and office gossip is really something I tell you.
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