Ah, fulfillment.

The holidays have been going along quite nicely for me so far. Tying up loose ends, doing more productive things, and finally having more time to myself. At the very least, I've been (I think) keeping to doing Math, trying to improve in the subject that haunts me nearly every time I've received my results. Doing DIY projects around the house and more reading, it's at least good to know that nothing much has changed about me, I think. If those criteria could be used to quantify who I am (eeks). Oh yes, and I'm quite intrigued about this game/thing I'm playing at the moment; Nationstates. Guess the dictator in me enjoys this, creating a country and all. Oh well. Take a look at my country, and see whether you might agree with the laws I've deviously passed.

A New York Times democracy can be so fulfilling as well, y'know.

OB

Negativity be gone. I loved the OB experience in Lumut. Not only an appreciated refreshing change from Singapore's concrete landscape for me, but I guess I've sort of grown attached to that small little piece of Malaysian heaven. The whole experience was fun for me, and I had many a good laugh there. It felt weird to be back in Singapore after the camp, and I will miss OB (M). (Even though I didn't seem to be enjoying myself there 'cause I wasn't feeling too well). Won't forget the experience and the people involved in it as well for a long time; I hope we have another one, seriously.

Leech/mosquito/sandfly bites and bee stings be gone, OB's still nice and lovely for me.

Reflection, on the past 10 months

Ah, it will soon rear its ugly (not) head. The exam that will determine what I'll be doing in the next two years. I've been rather placid about it lately, something that surprises the banana me (yes, I admit).

Perhaps because I know that I've prepared for it reasonably well, there being little more I could do. Or perhaps I'm just resigned to whatever outcome it will be.

I'm not too exactly content with my academic performance thus far, knowing that I could have done much better. Funny how it is a performance. Am I struggling too hard to reach my parents' expectations? No, there have been no expectations from them, except to do my best. Or are these my own expectations? These results, being the fruit of my anxiety? Oh well, someone has at least reminded me that grades do not determine who I am.

But as strange as it may seem, I appear to not do as well when I'm really trying hard. Perhaps, I need to trust God more, put my faith in Him, and cast all anxiety and care unto Him. Yes, New Year's resolution. Preconceptions of what I should be or be doing, out of the window, if you will. (Haha.)

Nonetheless, it's back to Math this holiday.

I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math, I love Math. Yes.

It will be an OB trip soon, somewhere deep in the uninviting forests of Malaysia. Heard so many horror stories, but let me not get negative. I do hope to enjoy myself there, and I will NOT listen to the tongues (let me see who... ) that try to dissuade me from doing so. But ya, someone remind me to take the malaria pills.

And that would also signal (sort of) the end of another school year. Met a lot of nice and not-so-nice people, but I will miss each one, as I realise there will be some whom I may never get to see any longer, some whom I will see only once in a blue moon, some whom I may forget. Sadded. Maybe I should do some sort of documentation of each person on this blog.

Hoping to spend more time with my family this end of the year, especially my parents and siblings (Ok, that's basically my family). My parents have been supportive of me, even when I chose to undertake an Arts combination (even though MOE says it's a mixed combination, I still think it's Arts), and they've been caring. My brother, well, let's just say he's become more independent and assertive, which is not necessarily a bad thing, really.

Ah, and I'm reminded of family warmth, as my sister doodles on.

"What colour would you want your shirt to be?"
And I answer, "Red, like yours."

PS Her Engrish is that good, ok. Never mind. And red is nice.

It is done.

It is over, and it is done. YES.

And thankfully so. I felt quite uptight over the examinations over the past week or so, and why?! I have not felt like that in any examination at all, and now this. What an achievement eh. And it's not even the o's. Makes me wonder what would happen to me should I take the o's.

Oh wait I am. At least for higher Chinese. But I'm definitely more confident in the subject now. Though I doubt those in the same Chinese class as I am would agree as confidently. Haha, this seems more of a reassessment of myself. Oh well, but I have plenty to thank God for. Call me a zealot or a nut if you will.

And yes, now more so than ever, I need Japanese food. I could eat a Japanese horse, if you will. But only if it lives in the sea.

And do tell me, what happened during the IMF-WB meeting? I only know quota reforms, and that's about it. If not, I think I'm going to write about something on Asia for the SS essay. Thankfully, it's due later on Monday.

I have many things to be thankful for, eh. (:

That will be the first and last time you'd see a smiley on a post. FYI.

*I just realised that the post is quite incoherent. Maybe I should consider point-form.

Who told me

Who told me a bald tree doesn't look nice? It does.

Who told me the bald tree on my blog doesn't look nice? It definitely does.

Who told me I can't do Math for nuts? I can, for some questions. Peanuts sometimes do seem appealing. Especially $60, 000 ones.

Who told me raw salmon isn't nice? It is when it's fresh, that I am sure. Japanese food always is.

Who told me I mumble? ...

Who told me I do not switch on my mobile phone all the time? Actually that's true, it's only switched on some time, and rightly so. I don't have eternal battery on it.

Who told me I'm self-effacing? I'm just humble, and isn't self-effacing supposed to be good? It's relatively unique to Asia, and I'm doing it.

Who told me I'm stupid? Admittedly, everyone is, at some point in time.

Who told me yayness sounded wrong? Is there anything wrong with the exaggerated expression of joy? Certainly not. Yayness.

Who told me Singlish was bad? It isn't, but whatever campaign that's against it is. Ignorance IS defence. Heh.

Who told me I do not update my blog? I do, and this is one of them.

Everything since time immemorial.

It has been a very, very long time since I've last posted. ZY finally persuaded me to post again through MSN (of all things). That, and the end of the school term, allowed for this rare occasion. And I'm posting about what happened. So mundane ya. I'm becoming boring. Oh well, let's start by listing a succession of events.

Mardi Gras Festival (school event, not the New Orleans kind): THE STALL. Oh my goodness, it totally stressed me out. Last-minute arrangements killed me. Though some people certainly helped out quite a bit, not many people helped in the behind-the-scenes work. Oh well, the chocolate was nice though. Didn't really take much effort in primping, but yes, the atmosphere created was suitable for the occasion, and I won the Bingo, surprisingly. Never won many games. Silent killer. Ha. In the end, I brought home about 17 leftover apples, which my family managed to finish up.

JGs: Though I didn't speak, I am still as proud of the team. The hard work was worth it. The blur computers were worth it. The cab fare was worth it. Putting up with sometimes weird but ultimately nice team members was worth it.

College Day: Was forced to go for it. Well ok, at least I had a pretty ok time there. Quite a number of awards were given out, though I realise that this may be a small number compared to other top JCs. Performances were fine and good, but I am surprised at how the event was so forgettable for me. I forgot that I had even attended it, until my father asked me where I had been that same afternoon. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just College Day.

Biopolis Visit: I was ok during the initial presentation, but the walking tour killed me. Because I was sick, and the air was particularly dry there (extremely efficient air-conditioning, I must say), I was coughing my way through it. There were also some comments about how the scientists looked like and all. I guess this is normal (hey, raging hormones), but I didn't do anything of the sort. Quite informative I must say, and bioinformatics (my IS) was quite a big help. At the end, W sprayed something on L, and well, let's just say everything went mad from there.

Sports Carnival: My toes died there. My contact lens threatened to shrivel. And I fell twice. Blame it on my shoes, the scorching (literally) sun, and my natural imbalance, respectively. Floorball was good, but I guess I was partly to blame for the loss at the finals. Didn't exactly do my job well. Plus I was so tired (it was a long time since I was that tired), I couldn't even hit the ball straight. Also missed hearing the MMMK dedication - talked too much.

Travels to Sumohouse: Haha, this is interesting. Japanese food (very reasonable and satisfactory as well), plus two wacky friends (sometimes three), makes for an enjoyable 1 and a half hour lunch (yes, that's how long it takes). Wasabi also makes for an interesting lunch activity.

Yay, no more half-dead blog. Though it might be retching from the content I put in it. Sigh.

it's alive!

Just so you know, my blog isn't exactly dead yet. The previous post may have dated back to the month of January (I think) but look, here it is again, another post. It's up and well again. It just lapsed into a coma the other time. Don't ask me. Ask the schedule. But that doesn't mean that it wouldn't go into a deep sleep again. Believe me, my blog's addicted to sleeping pills.

This could probably be the last you see of me, or maybe not. Hey, looking half-dead is supposedly cool nowadays, anyway.

cny carnival.

Messy.
Oily.
Sticky.

The CNY carnival.

Very messy.
Very oily.
Very sticky.

The CNY carnival. That is, if you get creamed.

Very messy hair.
Very oily hair.
Very sticky hair.

The CNY carnival. That is, if you get creamed. Right on the head.

"But never mind, it's all in good fun, isn't it? Isn't it? Wasn't it? No?"

"..."

what you do when you don't know what to write

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write, like this:

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. Is it me, or

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. And everytime I don't know what to write, I write:

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. It's hard for me to come up with proper sentences, even, so much so I wonder,

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write, something like:

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. And in the end, I don't know why but

Is the novelty wearing off, or what? I don't seem to be able to blog properly at all, having to force myself to think about something to write. Sigh, I'm getting tired already, and I am pretty much an IT-illiterate, so

Is the novelty wearing off, or what?

What would it be like to learn all over again?

There's this question I will always ask myself each time I come across a difficulty when studying or doing homework.

"What would it be like to learn all over again?"

No, seriously.

"What would it be like to learn all over again?"

Hmm.

I'd definitely study harder, work smarter, and try to do better.
But then, there are certain stages in my learning process I may never want to encounter again, like my agony in learning Math, which I once thought of as perpetual. Though, of course, I still do think of it as perpetual. Well.

Then I'd begin to compare all that to what I'm experiencing now, and find that for the most part of it, I'd be learning very much differently than what I'm doing now. And all the differences that were between the two would most likely to affect daily routine life as well, with much more time devoted to the desk rather than, well, the desk. Since the laptop's on the desk.

But then again, I wouldn't want to give up the learning experience that I went through these past few years. Sure, there were some I hated, some I disliked. And then there were those that I detested, which I loathed to the very core. And pretty much nothing else. Hm.

But anyway, the main thing is, I always thought at the end; the now. Not the past, neither the future. Well, maybe a little of the future, but mostly, focus on the present. For it has the most to give, since well, you know, presents. You know, those wrapped-up things with cute little ribbons on top, with a tag attached on which there's a name you do not recognise, reason being hardly anyone gives you presents. Which is hardly any wonder. Remember, 12/3. Write it down somewhere. Oh great, never have I been so fixated about "the present" until I encounter a Math difficulty. Just great.

Happy new year.

It's the new year of 2006, and here I am, blogging.

It's funny the way how time flies, like the pheasant that was scared off by the gunshot of a hunter, like the Airbus that SIA has just procured among many others, like the threatening mosquito by the proverbial landing spot right around the ankle. It's funny the way how time flies, so much so that unknowing people like you and me, and just about everyone else in the world, misses it just as it passes, and fail to make good use of it by doing inane things, many of which I am all too familiar with. And all too soon, the year comes to an end, and with it, so do the things in it, except school. Of course, there are holidays, but, what did you expect? Of course there must be holidays.

It's also funny the way how we forget things that we've learnt or experienced very quickly all too soon, for example, trigonometry or the rules of indices, just to name a few. It also isn't a coincidence that all of those have got to do with mathematics, the syllabus of Secondary 3, to be precise.

But now, it must all come to an abrupt, no doubt apt, end, since I have no idea what to blog about anymore, and that I'm too sleepy (yes, on New Year's day) to make out what is sense and nonsense anymore. So, if what you've been reading is deemed as the same content that should belong in a library book that has been condemned, please spare me brutal honesty (I can't take it very well, sorry), and just wish me a Happy New Year.

Different feeling.

Holidays always make me feel different, like I'm someone else. It's neither a good or bad thing I guess, since I totally forget about everything that happened in the past year, including homework. Then, when the new school year is around the corner, I start getting apprehensive of what's to come. Doesn't make much sense, right? It's not supposed to. See how nonsensical I can get.

I don't really make a good blogger. I'm not the diary type. It's obvious my life is less than mundane, more of the weird and unmentionable actually. Not that it's bad; I won't balk at it, but it's the kind of thing that people wouldn't bother about. So basically, couple a mundane life with bad writing, and you get d-dossier.blogspot.com. Go, click on the link, and you'll greeted by yet another boring webpage. See how lame I can get.

Oh well, at least for now, I've got less on my mind to worry about, what with the holidays and Christmas festivities, (Oh wait, festivities. Now that's something to be worried about. Darn.) and the longer I try to come up with something to fill up this space, the harder it gets. So why not spare myself the torment and end this post right here. See how lazy I can get.

Timing

Ok, it may seem that I'm posting at funny times for my previous posts, because, all the while last time, being the IT-illiterate person that I am, I did not have any idea on how to change the time from American to Singapore's UTC/GMT +8 for the blog/place for incessant ranting.

So, being so not-tied-up all of a sudden (there's always a first for everything), I explored Blogger for the first time today (hurray for me). Anyway. This is just to quash those thoughts out there that think I blogged during school (although they should know my URL if they checked). Never.

Another irrelevant one.

Has eternity gone by yet? Really? That was fast.

(My my, not paying close attention, eh. That's what my posts do to people. Refer to last post, 5th paragraph.) Anyway.

So here we are, at the (not so) awaited sequel of the aptly named "The Most Irrelevant", where readers, or rather victims, are hurled into a mess of disconnected thoughts, disoriented rantings, and the ever-so odd moment of truth. Here are some questions, now. Let there be megrim!

1. Why do online dictionaries have female speakers to enunciate, and not males?

2. Why do calculators sometimes refuse to have an "off" button, or refuse to do so when there's one?

3. Why does it take 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile? I mean, doesn't gravity help one bit?

4. Why is 70 - 80% of all Singaporean land state-owned?

It'll take at least a while for the dust to settle, but the age-old question, which defies all comprehension, (even logic): Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

what now?

There is always a period in one's life where one asks self: "What now?"

So, "What now?" I asked myself one day. Of course not out loud, that would be mad. "What now?? a voice in my head whispered. Remember, I am not mad, just mentally unsound. So began a debate in my head.
Anyway, hogwash.

So ya, there will come a point in time where one is uncertain about life's direction. Where one is in need of navigation, and where one needs a rudder to do so. And a compass. Now that's important. Very.
Again, hogwash.

Whenever all this happens, it's just because one is disoriented, thrust into a situation so alien that E.T. couldn't even phone home, and that Manhunter couldn't wriggle himself out of. Well, it so happens that MIB couldn't even handle it.

You see, when one is disoriented, this is what happens. Blog posts become totally irrelevant, and readers will have to skip this one, and wait for eternity for another. Another totally irrelevant blog post because thisbloggerhasnothingtowriteandpostsinceheleads atotallymundaneanddisorientedlife,asIhavedisorientedlystatedabove.

Oh well, as they say, what porridge ate John Keats?!

when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

When life hands me lemons, I must make lemonade. So, who wants some?

I have made plenty, and I'll have to continue making more.
Is this what I'm cut out to be? A lemonade seller or whatever?

Me and my bemoaning.
Anyway, on to a lighter note.

I like the people I am around now, and I hope that I will also come to like those I am soon going to be around next time. Hopefully.

So, 50 c per cup, anyone?

Hopefully,

Hopefully, I'll enjoy the holidays.

Hopefully, I'll be able to focus on my work.

Hopefully, I'll be able to do better next year.

Hopefully, I can get along better next year.

Hopefully, I'll be normal next year.

Hopefully, I'll be me next year.

Hopefully, they'll be nicer next year.

Hopefully, my entries will get more relevant next year.

It had to end

Sigh. This is the first time I ever missed school. Sigh. What is the world coming to when one longs for the very thing many others dread? It shows it is getting better. At least that is what I think.

It was a bitter-sweet moment. As much as I wanted the school year not to end (I know I sound mad, bear with me), I too looked forward to the new school year. It had to end, sometime.

And, I am glad that it actually lasts for three more years.

sighs of life

The following list categorises what I call the 'sighs of life'. This may or may not be applicable to you.

Sighs of Life

1. When people score better in life than you do, yet they complain.

2. When no one stops when you hitch-hike or hail a cab, just before an interview.

3. When you can't reach a switch.

4. When the toilet refuses to flush when it's 'full'.

5. When you expect reciprocation, you don't get it.

6. When the printer breaks down the night before a deadline.

7. When the computer hangs on you at a 7-hour download at 95% status.

8. When, at 5 am in the morning, you realise that you have to wake up at 5.30 am.

9. When you are tired and sleepy.

10. When you got plenty more sighs, yet the 'sighs of life' list has ended.

Sigh.

over and out.

The exams are over. And out of my schedule. Over and out. I'm lame.

But, it's not over yet. Projects and more assignments are awaiting my attention, to which sparsely I shall give. Tell it to Them. But, never mind, I shan't blame Them. After all, work is what keeps me going. (Note the serious expression on my face and my grim voice.)

Isn't it so?
Work, is what keeps us focused on achieving our goals.
Without work, I would just be whiling time away, doing nothing at home, twiddling thumbs.
I'd feel wasted. Like, there was nothing to live for.
Okay, maybe work is just one of the many commitments we have in life.
Maybe it isn't really much of an issue in life to some.

Well, too much of a good thing can be bad anyway.